Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

Goodness no, she would have been no use. But I did seriously consider asking my MIL to be a backup in case my DH could get to the hospital with me.

*couldn't

My mum no. I love her, but no. My dad, though, yes. He is very calm and i'm sure he would be great.

No I wouldn't

No - if DH wasn't able, Dsis would be my next choice.
My mum would prob be my 4th choice after my good friend.

No - it's a special experience for me & DH, creating our family.

But if he couldn't make it, I probably would ask mum to be there. She'd do it, but I expect she'd have mixed feelings - hard to see your child go through it, especially as she had two CS so no experience of natural labour herself.

No way, god no, the thought of it makes my toes curl. I'd honestly rather give birth on my own rather than have her there. We get on really well but just don't have that kind of relationship, which I'm glad about!

No, hasn't occurred to me at first to ask her but when I did think about it, I didn't want her there. The only person I wanted there was DH and if he couldn't be there for whatever reason then I had a couple of friends whom I would have asked but I really did only what DH both times.

It's your choice at the end of the day - have the person you'd be most comfortable with and the one who'd give you the support you need.

No, no, no

Unthinkable

NO!!!

Not in a million years.

Even if I was single and had no dp. Just no.

Childbirth is a painful enough experience on it's own let alone if my mother was there.

Yes.

My mum has been at the births of all of her grandchildren, invited by the mothers of course!

She is a nurse, so very calm and capable. DH actually asked her to be there this time, as support for him.

I chuckle at the idea of my mum being at the birth.
She'd sit quietly in the corner and make occasional 'helpful' comparisons to her labours.

Having an ELCS this time and so only DP is coming. My sister helped last time and was great. I was at the birth of her first - down the business end whilst my BIL looked green and faint at the head end.

I was adamant that I didn't want my mum there.... And then I went into labour! You couldn't have wrestled her from me. She was way more useful than DH, love him. Very odd as she is usually maddening

Never in a million years!!

I had my stepmum and DP at the birth of our first. It was nice. She loved being asked to be involved. :)

I had my mum at the birth of my first two, my partner wasn't exactly a supportive man, and my mum was great, even though I only used her to yell at, but it was reassuring to have someone there who knew and understood my wishes and was strong enough to support me.

I'm now pregnant with my third, but very luckily this time with a very supportive partner, who I think would probably like to be the only one with me, and I'm ok with this, as I can always get my mum to look after the other two. Although I would more than happily have her again.

Whoever you choose to have there make sure it is to support you and not because you feel obliged, it is your experience and you do what is best for you and the baby. It is a day when you can be as selfish as you like and no one but no one should question your choices.

Goodness me, no!
My mum has this weird woo thing where she feels pain if she knows about or sees a family member in pain.
If DH couldn't have been there then I would have been happy to do it alone once the pains were bad.

Well DD (age 4) has invited my mum to come and see her brother being born this weekend. Hopefully won't be happening, I'm supposed to be working and I'm only 22/40!

I've thought about it, but probably not.

My mom is lovely and we're very close, and my DC would be a very big deal for her (long time ttc and she's been there for me through the years). But DH isn't very keen on the idea; he thinks she would stress me out (we tend to be a bit dramatic I guess). I also think DH might feel excluded with mom taking over the whole birth partner thing. The two of us even speak a language DH doesn't really understand.

Luckily I don't think my mom even knows you're allowed more than one partner in the UK. She seems to take it for granted the birth is for me and DH only, and she'll come see us afterwards.

I did and she was great. Particularly during transition.

Had her there on Sunday. First baby for DH and I, lovely experience for all of us :)

I had my mum and DP there for the birth of my DC and it was absolutely the best choice for us. We all get along really well and my Mum was a huge support for both of us. DP was incredible (I had only known him 10 months at the time of the birth) but having my mum there was just great.

She felt really privileged to be asked and made it clear beforehand that I could change my mind at any time and ask her to leave if DP and I felt like it.

As it was we had a great time with the three of us together and I'd go so far as to say it was a laugh (after my epidural!!)

She was very calming when the baby was on the resuscitation trolley, and once it was clear everything was okay she left not long after to give us some family time.

DD is 4mo and mum and I still often talk about the experience.

For my dc1 I had not planned on my mum being at the birth. But long labour she stayed with me while dh went to eat/ sleep etc!!! She was great. She had been a birth partner for someone else a year earlier (their husband away with work when due).

The second time rules in the hospital only allowed one birth partner so was my dh. I actually spent time on the phone with my mum talking me through contractions while my dh was not there (dh sent home by hospital as I was 'not in labour'!!!)

Third birth was at home with dh and my mum there. My mum an ex-nurse, was a better support than my dh, but obviously I wanted dh there too.

Only if for some reason my DP could not be at the birth. But even then I'd rather have my best friend there (she's a midwife) than my mum. But both are very hypothetical as they're abroad.

Hell, no.