what's the oddest thing someone's said to you just after you've given birth.

[justwantcheese]

Fil, on visiting in delivery suite. Bet you can't wait to go car booting now!

As I was happily feeding baby, MIL "I wanted to breastfeed j but the midwife said I wasn't sufficiently cow-like".

"I bet you feel like the weight of the world has just dropped on your shoulders now". Er...no, we are quite happy actually.....

My mother walked in, the day after I'd given birth, prodded me in the stomach and said "Bloody hell ! Have you got another one in there ?!"

Some of these are , hilarious, but .
Some people are numpties! I know we all put our feet in it, when we can't think of anything else to say, but really.............

In a congratulations card from work someone wrote
"Your rugae are well stretched"
Well, thanks for the reminder!

On the second day after I had dd, FIL visited for the first time and asked (in all seriousness), "so, is she sleeping through the night yet?" !!

To be fair, FIL is actually step-FIL and hasn't actually had any children of his own.

MIL and FIL still ask this every time we see them! (they are likely to be disappointed for some time yet as she is 13 months old and still likes to wake a couple of times each night, bless her!!)

In operating theatre having a bad tear repaired -

Surgeon - 'now you must make absolutely sure you buy her two separate presents one for her birthday and one for Christmas, And wrap them in the correct gift wrap.......(DD was born 18th Dec)

Yeah good tip, now concentrate on sewing me up please!

Midwife stitching me up told me how she liked to do embroidery (not at work!) and that she would put in an extra stitch for DH's benefit! WTAF!

Dh and I were discussing names for our just born ds1. Midwife laughed and suggested 'eggy - look at the shape of his head'

With dd1 I had 3rd degree tear and had to be stitched up I theatre. Was told they make me better than before. Was a little at that, but do you know what, they were right!!

"so does this one have autism as well" from my MIL about my hours old ds3.

Not even a hello, or congratulations.

I had the contraception talk early on as well, I assumed it was standard practice. I was a bit as well.

After giving birth to DS1 (i had to have an ecs after ages of pushing and nothing happening) my DH said 'Oh i'm so tired after all that'

I could have taken his head off

Not to me, but the lady in the next bed whose baby was delivered by ventouse, said by a paediatrician for who English was a very poor second language "Ya, ya, vell, de skull is probably not permanently deformed"...

God these are just hilarious and yet shockingly awful!!!!

Charlotte, do you think she meant you had a way to go till your uterus contracted down fully? Or was she really commenting on your stomach muscles?

MIL, about an hour after DS's epic 40 hour labour and birth: "God you look terrible!". Funny that, cos I felt peachy.

A few females in my extended family are not known for tact or sensitivity.

My GM is like this, said to me when I brought my first DS, her first ggc, home from hospital "give him to me, he doesn't look right with you"...I just thought that was a horrible thing to say to a young new mother, but typical of her. She also advised me I would certainly need to get myself a 'panty girdle'.

At my GF's interrment a couple of years ago, my cousin had had her 3rd baby a few days prior and as would be quite normal, still had a baby tum, my complete bitch of an aunt (dd of above mentioned gm) turned and nudged the lady vicar and said dripping with sarcasm "I thought she'd had her baby", why why why did she feel the need to be bitchy at her father's funeral, to the vicar ffs...people!!

MIL " ohhhh nooooo she looks like YOU"

The surgeon who delivered DS by EMCS, immediately afterwards in theatre:
"Your next baby should be born vaginally".
I had literally just been passed DS to hold for the first time, and was very confused. It makes more sense now, as I didn't see him again after that, so I suppose if he was going to reassure me DS' issues were a fluke, that was his only chance.

From an aunt who knew we planned to have 2 children, after the birth of dd1 'you should have just had twins, got it all out the way'

Nannyogg - I had exactly the same! They were stitching me up after EMCS and turned to me and said "these problems probably won't happen again next time, I will write that on your notes"

I was like "great, now where is the baby you just lifted out of me?"