what's the oddest thing someone's said to you just after you've given birth.

[justwantcheese]

Fil, on visiting in delivery suite. Bet you can't wait to go car booting now!

MIL -1. "ooooh, love, does ya fanny hurt"

1. Re breast feeding........."Ooooh, love, does it feel nice"

1. "Ow's ya bits"

1. Breastfeeding one again, when DD stated whinging "Ooooh, baby, is it bitty time"

Luckily, I know when to keep my mouth shut. Grrrrr.

"I'm just going to put my finger in your back passage now"

I know now it's standard practice but at the time I was unprepared and totally flabbergasted. I was like what, you're not even going to buy me any chips first?

24 hours after childbirth, FIL said to me, "Are you still in bed then?" Errr, yes!

"I need to read your gas meter".

I gave birth at home, and the midwife were literally bagging up the placenta when this guy knocked on the door. She opened the door because she thought he was the other midwife.

"Are you going to have another one?" -within a few days of giving birth!

Hahahaha at

"you're not going to buy me any chips first?"

X post PuddleJumper :)

My midwife (DS2) said - ooohh. You've got a real little copperknob here (ginger)

Its standard practice to stick a finger up your back passage after giving birth??????

After I'd had ds at 42 weeks and after all those weeks of hyperemesis MIL came to the hospital and dh mentioned hed been to Tesco that morning before coming in to see me (ds born at midnight). MIL said 'Oh Wendy he must be shattered, hell need to go home for some rest'.

Depends on how badly you tear eastendy they need to check it's not all a bit open plan down there.

Anyway mil dh to "get a grip" when he phoned her. He was emotional it had been a difficult birth. Bitch!

I had 'finger up the back passage too'

Took me completely off guard!

Ex-H: "I'm so tired - I've been on my feet all night" (DS1 was born at 5am).

25 years later and I still bring it up on every one of DS1's birthdays :o.

Are you disappointed it's another boy? (was my third) erm no not really I'm glad he's healthy!

Why why why to the finger up the bum?!

I torn quite badly (TMI) and she had to put her finger up there too see if she hadn't stitched me up completely....

Well at least I'm prepared for that now!

Just after a c secion...literally less than an hour...I said to a passing health care assistant "Could I have my water jug filled please?" and she pointed to the far end of the loooong ward and said "The tap is over there."

Luckily I'm not shy and said "I've JUST had a c section!"

Glad to help chips

After DC2, midwife during a home visit was asked if my husband was going to get the snip. When I said no, she laughed at me and said none of her friends would have more kids after having a boy and a girl.

She then came back a few days later with a student midwife and did the exact same thing. The asking, the laughing, I felt like she had just come around to show her mate the weirdo.

Most confusing was a childless friend, when DC4 was a week old, asking about our sleepless nights. When we said he was sleeping fine (for a newborn), he went on about the troubles of teething, in a manner that suggested that we needed to be told about the negatives of having a baby. I just told him that this was our fourth, we kinda know what we're doing and how it goes.

That should say the midwife during a home visited asked or was asking. Teething really has seemed to have fried my mind

"bet you regret marrying a man over six foot now?!" said by MW after diificult delivery to a larger than expected DS

"Do you want a children's menu for him?" - a week after DS's birth, when we walked into Frankie and Benny's. I know weaning at 6 months is just a guideline, but that was taking it a bit too far.

"god you look like death warmed over" from my aunt!
Yes dear I have just spent 3 days in labour and had an emergency c section. Hardly feeling in tip top condition!!

My brother (aged 13) to my mum, four hours after the arrival of our sister: "why's your belly still so massive?".