OMG - my hospital don't let dads stay o/n!!

[Highlander]

are we back in the 18thC or soemthing? I've just found out that dads are 'not allowed' to stay for the first night on the postnatal ward. I'm horrified, especially after hearing all the stories about midwives not helping when you buzz. Maybe they're all too busy making up bottles. When I had DS, no-one was bottle feeding on our unit. DH is trying to calm me by saying we'll get a solo room and he will stay (he's a docotor himself).

I'm really panicing. I had such a good time with DS.

Also, can you imagine if fights broke out? Believe you me, it's not hard to imagine here in Scotland!

I wish dh could have stayed with me, ds was taken straight to special care and I was put in a private room and he still wasn't allowed to stay with me, it was a really horrible horrible experience just there all on my own no baby and no husband.

All the time the NHS and the staff have to cover there backs, and they cant be seen to make any exceptions. I wanted my dh with me overnight but when the nurses explained the security issues to me, i had to accept this.

All the time the NHS and the staff have to cover there backs, and they cant be seen to make any exceptions. I wanted my dh with me overnight but when the nurses explained the security issues to me, i had to accept this.

Cover their backs? This is about peoples' safety and security, not covering backs. Fact is, some people who have to come into hospital for medical care are violent, addicted to substances, not interested in obeying the law, etc. Although this is unavoidable, the number of people w/i hospital has to be kept to a minimum for purposes of safety and security of all the patients. The staff are not police. Not to mention respect for their privacy and need to try to get some rest.

hey I think I am going to use this term I have just learned:
[rant deleted] (I like that...)
BUT not before I have said this ONE LAST THING:
men ARE there overnight if their partners are in labour

men ARE there overnight if their partners are in labour

Yes. In the labour & delivery unit. NOT in the postnatal ward where I'm trying to get some sleep, breastfeed, hobble to the bathroom in bloodstained clothes, asking a midwife to check my bits b/c of some pain I'm feeling in my stiches, etc.

yes - to see their babies enter the world harpsichord.

and piddling into tin pans

harp-thats true

nope expat, maybe in your hospital. where I was (on many many occasions) the ante natal and post natal patients are all together using the same bathrooms, same day rooms, same catering, same(unchecked) agency staff.....

sorry harpsi but I dont want your dh (who I am sure is lovely) mooning about the ward when I am walking around in milk/blood stained pjs with my tits hanging out.

excatly - to see their babies delivered
then immediately turfed out
from vital birthing partner to extraneous spare part in a matter of minutes
weird

enid
what a shame
my dh has expressed a very specific interest in your milky tits
ah well

Absolutely expat it is two different things. lol at fights not being difficult to imagine here in scotland, know just what you mean.

I did not spend any time in hospital when my children were born but I should imagine it is difficult enough to get any sleep.

can he come to your house maybe? he moons very attractively actually
anyway it's not my dh we're talking about
it's highlander's
he's a doctor and seen it all before love

lol @ vital birthing partner

my poor dh was crap

much better at home doing practical manly things

lucky you though

(btw my milky tits are a mans dream believe me )

'he's a doctor and seen it all before love'

That makes it different n' all. LOL!

But technically, since we're talking about men who've fathered babies, well, then, all of them have 'seen it all'.

Doesn't mean I want to spend the night w/them after I've had my baby, tho.

My DH was crap, too

When I had DD2, I showed up 9cm dilated, and there was just a lip of cervix on the left side. Well, it hurt like a mo' fo' and I screamed at DH to please hold my left leg back so I could push. He stood frozen to his spot on my right side. Student midwife did the job well, tho!

(Sorry expat was being flippant esp for Enid's benefit.... )

harpsichord i am sure you are not trying to tell us that women who had delivered and were resting were in beds next to labouring women - which trust was this? I am shocked.

Most babies sleep lots during the first 24 hours and women need to rest, I am not saying that dads are of no use during this time but its just not the same as watching their partners labour and birth.

Don't get me wrong I would not have been separated from my dh for a minute after the birth of my kids, it was lovely to all snuggle up together in bed after the births and know nobody was going anywhere - both times.

When I was having DD (my first baby) I was kept in hospital from 4pm as my waters had broke and I was having contractions but wasn't in established labour. They sent DH packing promising to phone him if anything happened in the night.

I ended up having an emergency section the 2 nights later at 1:20am. On this night, DH stayed around until I was transfered to the labour ward and was allowed to stay for about 10 minutes before being sent home at almost 3am.

When I had DS (elective section) DH was with me for the section at 10am and was allowed to stay until rest time at 1pm and then came back at 3pm. I agree that its quite restricting times for the dads but I wouldn't have expected the hospital to have let him stay overnight.

patients security- i totally agree but they are still out to cover there backs whichever way you look at it.

Enid needs flippancy at this point. She's very close to being a mum of three. Aw, the sleepless nights, the helplessness of the newborn!

Yes, so many things I'd forgotten - like not being able to just hand child a cup or something to eat upon their request, being able to just deposit child casually on the couch when the doorbell or phone rings, having to carry a suitcase on wheels every time I step out the door - extra outfit, check. blanket - check. muslin cloths and bibs - check. nappies, wipes and bags, check.

Oh yes.

Aravinda, that happened on my postnatal ward. Bloody ctg monitors and wailing kept me even more awake than I already was .

Good point whoever said about men being there during labour - I spent 6hrs labouring in a postnatal side room with dp. He even left the room sometimes , mainly to beg for a MW to come and check on me .

And so much for keeping everything that comes around DD2 clean and sterile - except my nork, of course. Whilst pushing the double buggy yesterday, I caught DD1 w/her fingers in DD2s mouth and baby sucking away happily !