Childbirth- inherently risky or inherently safe? Painful or not?

[WhatTheHellJustHappened]

My friend recently made the fatal mistake of saying in the company of some female colleagues that childbirth was the most painful, horrifying thing she had experienced. An argument ensued and majority of the ladies there believed it was wrong to call childbirth risky or painful. They said they pitied women who looked at such a beautiful and empowering experience in such a negative manner. They said that even sitting on a lawn was risky but sensible people didn't spend time fretting over it. My friend asked me later "When did it become a crime to call childbirth painful or risky? ".
While I personally agree that childbirth can be very empowering and rewarding, I also do agree that it is painful and potentially risky.

What are you views? Do you think childbirth is painful? Do you think it is inherently risky or safe?

being relaxed is the best thing. for me it was making tea and toast for my midwives whil we waited for the baby to come in her own time at home.
Staying calm and having a good birthplan in the event of emergency helps eleminate the risks.
Birthing is painful, but tolerable if you dont panic and it is entirely worth it.
Of course it all goes out the window if something goes wrong but if its not broke why try to fix it?
A lot of medical intervention makes giving birth harder than it should be.

tartan, it's great that you found the pain tolerable, but I don't think it is fair to extrapolate based only on your own experience, and declare that the pain must therefore be tolerable for everyone else. You are not the yardstick according to which all labours should be measured.

The suggestion that women only need to "relax" is unfair and condescending - it suggests that women are somehow to blame for their pain: if only they'd stayed more relaxed, they could have had a wonderful birth while chatting with the midwives and drinking tea. Maybe it works for some women, but for many others, despite starting labour in a calm and collected fashion, and fully aware that it will be painful (who isn't?), they end up needing pain relief or intervention. Being "relaxed" is not the be all and end all.

I also don't understand what you mean by "entirely worth it". Is it birthing that is worth it, or the pain? If birthing, that goes without saying; if the pain, what is the intrinsic value of pain?

I had the experience of giving birth with no pain relief, and of giving birth with an epidural, and I vastly preferred the epidural. Sometimes the "thing" that needs fixing is the pain - and once that is gone, you can have a very positive birthing experience. For my part I found it much easier to push when I didn't feel like my baby's 99th centile head was ripping my insides open.

You may think that "a lot of medical intervention makes giving birth harder than it should be." I hold the exact opposite view - that good intervention, such as efficient pain relief given at the right stage, makes giving birth easier than it otherwise is.

Good to read both views tartan and prima - I can see both sides of the argument.

Primafacie "had the experience of giving birth with no pain relief, and of giving birth with an epidural, and I vastly preferred the epidural. "

My experience exactly!

I think there are people who have an intrinsic urge to give birth without pain relief and others who don't. I think we fall into two camps.

When I asked for pain relief during labour, I can remember a midwife saying 'but you can do this'. What she was never able to explain was why on earth I should want to