nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

[nickelbabe]

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

Well maybe the nervous laugh meant that the melodrama had had got the point across!
Don't get ma wrong, I'm all for natural birth and am right behind nickel, but I think she is being a little hard on the health care professionals! After all, all they want is for her to go home with a healthy baby!

Parts of this thread make for very uncomfortable reading. I trained as a midwife just across the water from the Medway and they had no interest in inducing a labour prior to 42 weeks. Someone "refusing" induction at 40+12 would not have been a situation that occurred because induction would not even be OFFERED until the baby was actually overdue (42+1). And our stats were just as good as the Medways or any other hospital's.

Pregnancy up to 42 weeks is not considered overdue.
The length of nickelbabe's pregancy so far is completely normal and would not even raise an eyebrow in many UK hospitals
EVEN IF nickel refused induction after 42 weeks this does not automatically mean ISBN will up and die. There is a very very small increase in the absolute risk of stillbirth. The risk is still extremely small. 99.97% of babies born after 42 weeks will be absolutely fine.
Nickel is sensible and intelligent.

So why have so many people turned up to tell her off?

Wotcher nickel - still hanging in there then? I reckon titchwitch was braced foursquare against the sides before induction - he used to do starjumps inside occasionally so I'd get whomped in 4 places at once. He did them when he came out as well, just as he was going to sleep - so funny!

It is true - a birth plan is at best a set of idealistic wishes of how you would like things to go. I knew that so few people actually manage to stick to their birth plan that the MWs had trouble getting me to make one - I did have a couple of things on there, one of which never happened (stay on my feet as much as possible - physically couldn't do it! DH was wheeling me to the loo, I couldn't walk ) - the other was to be allowed to use my hypnotherapy CD. Oh, and to please wipe the baby before he was given to me (that DID happen! )

Whatever transpires, the important thing ALWAYS is to remember that so long as the baby comes out safely and you are safe, then the birth is a success.

Full moon does seem appropriate though...

I don't think anyone has told her off have they? More tried to pre prepare her by saying that a lot births don't go exactly to plan. And that the health professionals at the hospital are only trying to help. It can't be good for her if she is wound up by the thought of going into hospital - which has every chance of happening.

Also - i think the comments have nicely counterbalanced the health professionals / midwives who are on this thread who are saying that she should stick to her guns and that everything will be fine. They don't know that, she is not their patient and they are taking cues only from what she is saying. They are the ones i think she will listen to in the end as they aer saying what she wants to hear.

And i really hope nickel's birth is all the better for it of course.

Harder, I think you have misread. No one is trying to get nickel induced prior to 42 weeks, they are trying to get her to book an induction date, which she hasn't done because she doesn't want to be induced if at all avoidable.

I don't know about other hospitals, but I had an induction date booked FOR 42w which was made AT about 41 weeks, just in case. I needed it, but other people may not have. No harm in being prepared.

People are also offering their own experiences without getting too extreme just to show what could happen. Nothing wrong with that - no point in being all rosy-glasses about it - nickel needs the information to make an informed choice.

CatPuss - Yes, I agree that's what they want. But I'm hazard a guess that that's what any mother wants for their child too - even if that means not going about it the way the HCPs would like. I just don't think that being melodramatic and treating women like they are naughty children or utterly stupid is the way to go about imparting the information needed to make a fully informed decision.

CatPuss - input noted, thank you. I think we've already covered the points you made, though, and I'm happy to trust the HCPs, but I don't want to be talked to like a child.

Sod's law dictates that this thread will be full just as Nickel starts to go into labour.
So let's get it filled today!

Cup - the HCPs at Medway are only going on what I've told them - I'm not their patient either.
The MWs at my own hospital have been supportive.
Oh, and all the HCPs I've seen, apart from the one doctor have not told me off or treated me like I'm naughty, but treated me like the adult I am, that is capable of weighing up the evidence and making a decision based on that.

Molly -that's what we thought about the last thread!

I have to be up until midnight tonight cos my Christmas puds are steaming on the stove until then - any chance of kick off before then, nickel?

[hopeful]

Of course, you do all realise that if I end up with this induction, that I will have to make a new birth plan.

that birthing room has only got a CD player, not a piano, so I now have to go through my records and decide what I want to listen to during labour. (DH was going to play for me during the tough bits)
which of course, means that I also have to put them onto CD, because all my favourite music is on records.

I woke up thinking about this - said to DH that maybe we should borrow Asst Organist's Keyboard

oh do that, yes!! (keyboard)

What do you want to listen to? Can we offer suggestions?

I'd give "ring of fire" a miss, for starters...

Yes, music is very important - just one tip for your DH - DON'T TURN IT OFF JUST AS YOUR WIFE IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH!!! sorry

Mine turned off my carefully-selected-playlist-ipod to call 999 then i never had a spare breath to ask him to turn it back on. I was most cross afterwards when i had a chance to think about it :)

Ah but that was only the 1st thread. Now we're after a record-breaking 3rd! It's never been done before.

I love that your DH will be playing the piano during labour.

YY to sorting out some music.

I very definitely remember Sex on Fire playing whilst in the delivery room. I shall be a little more selective in the choice of music I have for no2, and put together my own music rather than just bunging a bought compliation in the player!

Nickel - I really think you are going to have to lower your expectations of this birth being quite so perfect or you are going to end up with PND!! Baby is in, baby needs to come out - safely. Beyond that, it's all trimmings and the more you focus on it being 'perfect' the more likely you are to be in a state afterwards if it doesn't go to plan. I'm getting worried about you. You need to start focussing on the lovely baby snuggles you will have when the baby gets here and all the other things about actually having a baby to love & look after :) I think you should borrow a toddler!

Whoah there missy - back up, back up. You were going to get your DH to play the piano/organ for you during labour? I bet that is one your midwife hasn;t seen before!

I had a playlist of all my favourite mellow and relaxing music that I like to completely lose myself in, ready for labour with DS1. this was before the days of ipod, or even burning CDs, so they were on tape. I was labouring away, mid-major-contraction, trying to focus on Van Morrison's beee-oo-tiful Astral Weeks album, when suddenly it cut to Madonna and some totally inappropriate upbeat pop number or other. I am not a Madonna fan AT ALL (it was DH's) and I sat up mid contraction and said 'What the hell is this? I'm not having this baby born to Madonna! Get it off, now!'

FN

PMSL Fellatio

I remember now I'd made a CD (pre-ipod) for DS1's HB, unfortunately hadn't realised quite how bloody long labour would be and i think the MWs (both shifts) & DH were truly sick of the 8 or so songs I'd chosen by the end

All my plans and ideas went out of the window as my body took over and I had no input really or choices and just had to go with it.

Still no baby!!!!!!!!???????
Wtf is going on!! Lol
Nicklebabe been watching your threads but not commenting just re read this and am shocked!! I feel for u! I had my DD at 34 weeks!
X

Nickel, my lovely, if you are induced then it could all be over quite quickly and you'll be cuddling a lovely warm little bundle before you know it.

My rather over-engineered birth plan went out of the window quite quickly, and if I were in the same situation again I'd just stick to the basics, which were: mobile/upright for as long as possible; allow a tear rather than do an episiotomy; do everything possible to avoid forceps/ventouse unless the baby was in danger etc; breastfeeding.

You'll find that the HCPs will explain your options to you as you are going along, and between contractions I was very capable of listening/asking questions/debating and made very reasonable decisions. And the decisions were much more informed than when I'd prepared my birth plan because all of the uncertainties were crystallising.

So I knew how DS was coping (because of the monitoring), I knew how quickly I was progressing, I knew how much pain I was in and roughly how much longer it was going to last etc etc. I also had access to HCPs so that when I finally decided to have an epidural, I had a chance first to speak to the anaesthetist about what was involved, the risks etc. It's actually much easier to make these decisions when you aren't in a vacuum.

You're obviously very intelligent and capable, with an intelligent and capable DH and if it comes to a medicalised birth then you'll judge perfectly well what is best for you and ISBN even in the thick of things.

In terms of "things" to have with me, I only ever wanted/needed:

• my DH

• food (including a cheese sandwich proper savoury food rather than little snacks/energy drinks which failed to keep me going when I was knackered)

• my ipod, earphones, speaker dock and remote control - in the early stages and post epidural when I wasn't in much pain, I quite liked being able to choose my own music. I ignored the carefully prepared playlist because I wanted something different - less stimulating - from what I had expected. I also used the earphones overnight during the early contractions because they blocked out other hospital noise.

• I listened to some audiobooks and watched videos on my ipod overnight. I was contracting gently, DH was catching up on some kip, and I needed something a bit more distracting than music but equally couldn't be arsed with a book.

ref to music. Me and DH were laughing the other day when we heard a CD we had bought for my first labour. We envisaged dimmed lights, classical music, maybe some candles..........the reality was somewhat different and I can honestly say that if anyone had put a CD on I may well have strangled them

Chipping - you've been following the thread, you know my expectations have been significantly reduced over time