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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

999 replies

nickelbabe · 06/12/2011 16:02

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sparklingbaubles · 09/12/2011 06:46

Tea and toast anyone? Morning Nickel and ISBN. Today could be the day.

Original poster

nickelbabe · 09/12/2011 07:11

This isn't good morning, more good "inthemiddleofthenight"
We did have sex last nguht, and as you all say, it's not so much fun when it's pressurized. (hasn't induced the labour though...)
Told DH he had to suck it up. then he complained about how cold it was. I think he enjoyed it in the end

FioLondon thank you for that post, it's really helpful. It does back up quite a bit about what I've heard/read. I have definitely decided that I will see what happens at 42 weeks and then make a decision from there.
Dot asid any induction is usually done first thing in the morning, so that usually it's all underway by night fall, so I have to decide whether I want that to be sunday morning (and miss church! ) or Monday morning...

underbeneathsies (namechanger or new for this thread? )
Thank you for sharing your story. It is one of those things, that we really can't tell what's going to happen until it happens, which stories this week have helped me (along with the hospital visit) to decide that I will try to go with the flow. It's a bit weird, now, because before, it was all very arbitrary, because everything still seemed a way off, and there was no "panic" iyswim. Now, it's all very close to the wire, and the meds seem to want to be invlved, so "the flow" is slightly les flowy than it was before.
I don't know what to expect, or what to do , because I've never been here before. But, yes, you're very right, I have to concentrate on the baby that's going to be my DC, and not the birth. (but I still have to feel like the birth was a positive experience - there is so much anecdote about a bad birth sticking with the mother for years)

Plus, Dot made very good points about the fact that it's my body that decides what happens at the birth, not thebaby!

"Don't be afraid to meet your babe - I have a feeling that you might be reluctant to actually become a mother? It's just a feeling I have in my big toe, so please ignore if you want." you know, that's kind of correct in some ways. The whole "getting to this point" has been a rather surreal experience, and getting beyond this, to have responsibility for a real-life person hasn't really hit me yet.

OP posts:

seeker · 09/12/2011 07:17

It will be today. I know it. There was the most beautiful moonset over Sittingbourne today- I think that's an omen.

Have you considered Dewy instead of Isben?

Original poster

nickelbabe · 09/12/2011 07:22

maybe Dewey for the next one.

Now i'm getting worries that it'll kick off when I'm a Medway and they decide it's too far along to let me go home!
(we were joking about his last night - saying if I start off while we were on our way up there, or whilst there, that I would go "come on then! let's go home!" - most people going to the hospital in labour, us going away from it. )

i'm off back to bed.

OP posts:

picnicbasketcase · 09/12/2011 07:35

Hope everything kicks off for you really soon nickel. FWIW, my DC were born at 40+13 and 40+11 and apart from their skin being wrinkled like they'd been in the bath too long no ill effects whatsoever. It was just when they were ready.

deemented · 09/12/2011 07:38

Nickel - a good friend of mine went to 43+4 and delivered a healthy baby boy. She knew her body best and despite quite urgent insistence from certain HCP's, he came when he was ready to, not when they deemed he should.

Good luck x

TheOriginalFAB · 09/12/2011 07:52

I am glad baby is okay.

Please go and get checked every time you are offered it.

Sparklingbaubles · 09/12/2011 08:03

43+4? deemented?

BiscuitNibbler · 09/12/2011 08:16

Please don't get hung up on being scared of a "bad" birth experience. I fully intended to refuse everything except gas and air, but circumstances meant that I ended up with an EMCS under GA. I beat myself up for a long time about it, and in hindsight was on the edge of PND for the first year. It is only recently that I can look back and see that it was only a "bad" experience because I had been so fixed in my mind in what I wanted. In actual fact it was a positive experience because I have my beautiful DD, which is all that matters now. I still regret the fact that neither my DH nor I were "there" when my DD was born, but that is in the past and we are there for her every day now. Without sounding trite, it could have been so much worse.

As for the thought of being a mother being surreal, I still get that now over two and half years later!

Good luck!

PestoFestivio · 09/12/2011 08:17

Mornigng Nickel

Glad you now have a plan and hope you manage to get a few more hours kip this mornignign.

Alouisee · 09/12/2011 09:07

I think this thread might have spawned a new word. Birthzilla

Unless Midwives already use it?

Will Isbn be the first baby to run to 3 live birth threads?

FellatioNelson · 09/12/2011 09:16

I agree with Biscuit. If you start to think you can control it, you are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment, which will not be good for your well-being afterwards. I understand the need for an element of control, as a way of dealing with your fear, but you need to put more trust in the people who are there to help you, and want to make it as easy and a SAFE as possible for you. There is no such thing as 'failing' in your birth experience.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 09/12/2011 09:18

Good-Mid-Morning all - anyone still making tea & toast??

Nickel what are you doing going back to bed at half 7? Is that lovely DH of yours opening up the shop this morning?

It's a lovely lovely day down south today - pretty sunshine & everything. The perfect day for a baby to come into the world (hint hint ISBN!!)

I can't believe you are thinking about the next one

Sparklingbaubles · 09/12/2011 09:22

Yes Chipping there's still tea in the pot. Plenty of toast and butter.

It's lovely and sunny here too. Good day for giving birth methinks.

Original poster

nickelbabe · 09/12/2011 09:22

Chipping - i don't open till 10:30 now (being a good girl and "resting" like the midwife said

so I'm just getting up now.

OP posts:

KnottyLocks · 09/12/2011 09:23

Morning. Lovely day to be having a baby.

Anyone suggested driving over a few speed bumps yet?

Original poster

nickelbabe · 09/12/2011 09:25

thank you Biscuit for your reassurance - i get what you're saying.
Fell as well - I do feel ike i'm more in control now, after last night, than i did before we went up there.
so in a way, the losing control of the original plan means I feel more in control

Bloody tummy feels as hard as iron this morning! God knows what's going on there.....

OP posts:

Original poster

nickelbabe · 09/12/2011 09:25

yes they have Knotty
got your internet back have you?

OP posts:

schroeder · 09/12/2011 09:33

My Mum says a bracing walk on Waxham beach did it for her.

Thinking of you Nickle

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 09/12/2011 09:39

There is only one thing you can say with any certainty about your forthcoming birth...the baby is in and will be coming out!
You may dream of a natural home birth and get a cesarean under general anaesthetic, or wish for every drug known to man and end up giving birth in a bus stop with no drugs and your DP for a midwife!
You can say what you would like, that's what a plan is, but the chances are quite good that you won't be getting what you want!
Don't fight or demand, you will just spoil the experience for yourself. Take the advice given. You may no like it, but these are health care professionals who have done this a million times before!
And of course the doctors will tell you about the absolute worst case scenario, can you imagine them saying 'yeah, do that, you'll be fine' and then something goes wrong! Laughing was misguided and plain rude!

KnottyLocks · 09/12/2011 09:44

Nickel, internet back, obv

So you can have the baby now. Tell ISBN I'm ready.

IWantSantasNewToyInMyStocking · 09/12/2011 09:45

Fiolondon the scan I had at 38 weeks was over 3lb under!!

Sending positive vibes Nickel, like someone said up there^ its a almost a full moon, time for Isbn to make a move.

FellatioNelson · 09/12/2011 09:46

That is SO true CatPuss!

Flisspaps · 09/12/2011 09:47

CatPuss like nickel has said, the laughing was a nervous laugh - sometimes you just can't stop yourself laughing any more than you can help blinking. Perhaps if the doctor had put herself across in a less melodramatic your-baby-will-die-at-midnight-and-you-will-turn-into-a-pumpkin way, she may not have elicited such a nervous response from nickel in the first place. Stating the facts in a calm and reasoned manner is fine, but going for a Best Dramatic Performance Oscar whilst you're giving the information is never going to do anyone any good.

It only dawned on me last night whilst I was rearranging the freezer contents as to why ISBN is such an appropriate name for your baby, nickel. I blame baby brain.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 09/12/2011 09:50

Nickel - good girl :)

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