Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

999 replies

nickelbabe · 06/12/2011 16:02

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?
Confused

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TheOriginalFAB · 08/12/2011 11:30

Flisspaps I had reduced movements and then baby was moving okay but he was still in trouble and I wouldn't have known without the scan.

PrincessSugarPlum · 08/12/2011 11:32

Found you!!!!

So sorry things haven't happened yet - although it sounds like the midwives certainly want to it be soon!! Even more than you!!

Thinking of you xx

TheOriginalFAB · 08/12/2011 11:32

BeeBread is right. I was having very slight contractions - I wasn't feeling them- but baby wasn't coping at all with them.

LittleDonkeyhadaMadHairDay · 08/12/2011 11:43

I agree nickel, I think they are just looking out for you and the baby, I know you are totally pro HB etc and no intervention but there are times it is needed and good to check everything is fine, I'm sure it is. My dd didn't cope too well in labour at 40+14 and they had to get her out quickly and I was grateful for monitoring etc. You're in my prayers love. Hopefully isbn will decide today is the day and you'll have a lovely HB. :)

Flisspaps · 08/12/2011 11:52

I think the biggest problem is the lack of consistency between the advice given by the two MW settings - the hospital midwives are very much wanting you to go in for monitoring immediately, whereas the CMWs are being more relaxed and suggesting tonight (so not a huge difference from when the HMWs want you to go in, but just at a more convenient time) or tomorrow.

They've both had the same training and are working for the same trust so should be following the same set of trust guidelines as to when women should be offered monitoring, yet they seem to be singing from totally different hymn sheets, despite both wanting you and your baby to be safe and well :)

missboots · 08/12/2011 12:02

Hi nickel - have been lurking but now marking my spot. Surely something must happen soon?! I went 12 days over and when DS finally appeared it was very quickly after days/weeks of "tightenings" that didn't feel like they were doing anything, but clearly were paving the way to a nice and easy birth. In the end he arrived 15 minutes after I was meant to be induced...

nickelbabe · 08/12/2011 12:23

"But not all trusts advise daily monitoring - some don't advise it after 42 weeks but offer it twice weekly instead."
exactly my point.

OP posts:
Hohohomouse · 08/12/2011 12:27

Bad news here...what you fear has happened to me. Teensy tiny closed cervix, too scrunched shut to even be able to attempt a sweep. Given all the usual shit advice about pineapple and sex. I am so miserable that I don't think DH will ever want to jump me again
40+6
Hospital currently too full to book in for induction
Feeling a little "woe is me"

MrsChristmasDB · 08/12/2011 12:30

Hi nickel

Keep smiling, sweetheart.

Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed that something starts to happen for you !

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 08/12/2011 12:31

Oh dear Sad

Hohohomouse · 08/12/2011 12:32

Sorry nickel to hijack your thread with poor news :(

MrsChristmasDB · 08/12/2011 12:33

Oh, Hohoho (((HUG)))

Poor you.

nickelbabe · 08/12/2011 12:35

I'm not worried that they're out to trick me, I just think that there's too much emphasis on the panic that something is going to go wrong ,when there is no evidence that anything is going wrong.

Each time I have had a check-up, everything has been normal.
in-between check-ups everything has been normal.
Isbn moves in the same kind of way at the same times each day, has been regular all the way through.
I've been getting tightenings and period-type pains recently, which is telling me that things are getting close to the end.
I have spoken to my own midwife and other midwives (the cumminty/HB midwife and my friend who is a midwife) and neither of them has panicked or suggested that I need to worry or up what I'm doing now.
If I had worries about movements or anything being unusual, I will of course get it checked out.
and yes, it's the fact that the hospital midwives who know nothing of my history, are the ones that are panicking, not my own MW, who has got to know me, and knows that I wouldn't risk anything happening, but that I want things to happen normally until such a time that a) it's getting ridiculous and b) something's going wrong,.

We also have to take into account that I know when I had sex (thanks to the Viroids thread!) in the month of conception, and that the earliest it could have been conceived is 10 days after my period (just to beat ovulation), because that's the earliest I had sex. So if we go from earliest possible date of conception, (rather than LMP), then actually, i'm only 2 days over.

I really do appreciate all your comments and stories, I'm not trying to poo-poo you, but I'm also not yet ready to panic.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 08/12/2011 12:36

sorry hohoho :(
what's the next step for you?
(don't worry about hi-jacking the thread, it's fine )

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 08/12/2011 12:37

(and you're only 40+6 - you've still got time!)

OP posts:
silversmith · 08/12/2011 12:37

I've just posted on the '5 sweeps' thread about how my little last minute merchant threw an all nighter in order to miss his induction by a matter of hours at 40+14. Really hoping it happens that way for nickel & all the other waiters.

MustControlMincepieOfDeath · 08/12/2011 12:37

Feel your pain HoHoWoe, I was 40+11 before my cervix started to do anything remotely like get ready. Xmas Sad
DS was born at 40+13 (after induction) - felt like I had been pregnant FOREVER

Sparklingbaubles · 08/12/2011 12:41

I think all the due date stuff needs looking at. I had DS1 2 weeks early according to the system but he was more or less his due date as far as I had worked out. DS2 arrived on his due date according to the system. When he was supposed to have been conceived we hadn't started trying. He wasn't fully cooked. Confused

MrsChristmasDB · 08/12/2011 12:43

Nickel

No there is no evidence that something will go wrong, but it can.

I have a very bleak pregnancy history, which I wont bore you with, but on the day I had my stillborn son, there were 4 other poor ladies who also lost theirs, 2 who were over 40 weeks. One was because it was deemed that the birth was just too much for baby. Mum had been well, and everything progressing fine, right up until the last stages, when baby began to struggle.

I'm not saying for one minute that this is going to happen to you, but it could.

I think people are concerned for you because sometimes we don't realise there is a problem and that baby is not happy.

I am sure that if you felt anything 'strange' you would be straight up the hospital, but honestly sweetheart, I wouldn't want you to go through what I did.

I'm not saying this to scare you, at all, I just want you and your baby to be safe and well.

(((HUG)))

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 08/12/2011 12:43

HoHoHo - :( It is a bit rubbish - but sweet, it could be an awful lot worse. Try not to stress out about it and go with the flow - very soon your baby will be here and you'll be having all those lovely newborn snuggles Envy

Nickel - I really hate feeling like we are all (well almost all) bullying you into more monitoring and an induction - but honestly, the monitoring can & does tell you a lot more than just if the baby is alive or not. The heartbeat is really important and knowing if your baby is stressed or not is vital. They are offering you monitoring - I think you are being a little bit silly not to take it. This is blunt - beware >>> If anything was to happen to the baby & it could have been prevented by monitoring how are you going to feel? Could you live with that? Sorry to be so blunt - but that really is what it comes down to.

fraktious · 08/12/2011 12:50

But 40 weeks is actually 38 weeks from conception assuming a 10 day cycle. They do take that into account when calculating.

Unless you know you conceived later than your EDD-38 weeks then their dating is fine.

I would take all the external monitoring they offer and I hate all things medical. Everyone panics about the worst case because it is probably the worst possible thing Sad

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 08/12/2011 12:50

But nickel, sweetie, the gestation period is adjusted to take account of those "spare" days prior to actual conception - so you're still just as over however you look at it.

I was also contracting ever so slightly by the time I went in for my induction but had no clue - hadn't felt anything. I tend to agree that it is worth it just to get everything checked.

A friend of mine had her baby a couple of weeks ago - 3 days overdue, no big deal - started natural labour, went into the hospital, left in a waiting room for 45 mins, MW came to see her, didn't seem too fussed, made the cardinal error of NOT putting the monitor on her - left her for another half hour. Came back, put the monitor on - foetal heart rate only 70. Bang on the red button, onto a trolley, straight down to theatre - she was given her premed on the move, clothes removed while being wheeled along, signing the papers as she went - nothing apparently wrong but major foetal distress was occurring. Luckily, one crash section under GA later, she and baby were fine (well, he had to go to NICU - same as SCBU - for a couple of nights) but it could have been a Very Different Story.

We're not being mean, we're not trying to put the wind up you - just pointing out that things are usually suggested For A Good Reason. So if you go in and everything's fine, that's great! Hurrah! but there's always that chance that things might not be fine and this way they'll get picked up before anything goes wrong. :)

Feel bad now in case you're upset - but just want you to be utterly aware of the potential issues.

CarolCervix · 08/12/2011 12:55

Nickel. You are an intelligent adult woman. Listen to people's stories. Read everything you can get your hands on (including stuff from both sides or=f the argument. Look at ALL the pros and cons. and make the decision which is right for you and you only.

Do Not be bullied or persuaded. Make up your own mind.

CarolCervix · 08/12/2011 12:56

And my personal tuppence worth.

If 'normal' pregnancy is from 37 to 42 weeks gestation. How can you be'overdue' until past 42 weeks?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 08/12/2011 12:57

Wot Carol said

Swipe left for the next trending thread