Dp just called my dd a freak

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Just that really
She's 12 and was diagnosed with autism yesterday so I know I'm quite emotional today but fgs it's not okay
He's been amazingly supportive throughout the process and she can be be very challenging I know but I overheard him call her a freak
this evening amd It's the second time . I think it the word wowed last time.
He's the only absolute constant in her life who she knows is always there for her amd this is not his usual self but we did discuss coping with this as parents this evening and he was really supportive.
I've just told him to sleep elsewhere amd stay away I need space it's really upset me amd he hasn't even apologised
He tried to tell me something that obviously had led to him saying it amd I stopped him amd said that absolutely nothing gave him the right to say that word . Like nothing .
I don't think I'm over reacting am I ?
I just feel so enormously protective for her amd more so since yesterday. Calling her a freak is just so so terribly wrong .

Context is not needed because he knowingly called an autistic girl a 'freak'. For the 20th time, there is ABSOLUTELY NO...CONTEXT where that is even remotely acceptable. Never. Ever.

And, we know he called her that, on the very day she was diagnosed. Occam's Razor.

You speak on ly for yourself and not all people with autism. My experience is different

As a parent to a child with Autism, I say the context does matter.
Also you're asking on the wrong forum OP. The majority here will tell you to leave a DP for looking at you the wrong way. It's full to the brim of virtue signalers

*signallers

Not to be pedantic but it happened today and she was diagnosed yesterday. I'd say that's leaning more towards a coincidence

Clearly not to the OP, who presumably knows him rather well

@JennyNotFromTheBlock you're not the only autistic person in the world. Plenty of people feel differently to you

Plenty of women also think it's ok to like music that call women hoes, or it's ok to call people the N word. Some people with disabilities think it's ok to call each other the R word.

It doesn't make it ok, even when other people's standards are set so low.

Calling a person with autism a 'freak' is never ok. Ever.

The fact he called her a 'freak' the day after she was diagnosed, basically proves it's no coincidence.

I still wouldn't have that in the house. It's insulting and teaches kids that it's ok to mock people different to them even if it is just over ether sandwiches they eat. So many other words could be used to make that non offensive.

Given how upset the OP is I doubt it was meant in a lighthearted context.

Well we'll never know the full story or outcome as the OP never returns to any thread they start.

Sounds like your DP may be at the end of their tether.

Put your differences aside and helo each other.

Well I disagree, and so do others.

The context of how DP meant it is important.

The context of how you would feel, is not in this instant important. Because the OP has not given any indication of how her daughter felt or what was actually said.

Added to that - not all autistic people are the same. What makes you the last word in whether an autistic person might or might not find the word ‘freak’ offensive under certain circumstances?

I find it abhorrent that there are people on this thread, with autism, who are defending using the word 'freak' to describe a vulnerable young child.

I find it abhorrent that there are people on this thread telling other people, some with autism, what they can and cannot find offensive.

I'm not doing that at all. But to defend someone using the word 'freak' to describe a disabled child is disgusting whether people are offended by it or not. People's lack of offence doesn't mean it's an acceptable thing to say.

@Harrysnippleno3 and yet here you are doing just that again. No one has blindly defended it. They have asked for more context to how/why/what the conversation was when it was said. Not that the OP will ever return to elaborate as they never do.

I'm not telling people what they can and cannot find offensive. Not at all. But you must realise what individuals find offensive isn't of any relevance here, what is important is that people understand using derogatory language towards a disabled child is not acceptable.

My friend called me an idiot the other day because I went soppy over a dog. She was joking, clearly not being offensive and certainly not trying to hurt my feelings. If friend called me an idiot out of anger because I dropped a cup, that would not be OK.
Same word: two different scenarios. One clearly meant offensively and one as a joke between friends.

Now imagine my other friend posted this AIBU
I'm so annoyed, I have two friends, o e gad recently fount out she has ADHD and I heard our mutual friend calling her an idiot. I'm so upset I ran away and didn't want to hear any explanation...

You see? Context is important.
I

FFS. You willfully refuse to get it. An NT friend joking with an NT friend is different from an NT person calling a child with a disability a 'freak' or an 'idiot'. Have the decency to stop trying to upset people with disabilities, like myself, by stubbornly and offensively trying to defend the indefensible. Have enough compassion and human decency to stop. Please. Please.

How the fuck do you know if I have a disability or not...stop talking for every ND person in the world its really really insulting. Your experience is not the only valid one.
And if you read my post above the example of "idiot" and "ADHD" were used...therefore the two people were not NT. Your comprehension is off.

Nice to see OP interacting with everyone in this thread 🤔

Not all autistic people are the same - obviously. So please don't say what they all can or can't do. And not all think of themselves as "disabled" either. So before we judge we need more info from the OP . Which looks as though it won't be forthcoming.

An acquaintance has started using the word retarded. I'm 🤔 but laugh and try to move the dial where they double down. Honestly v shocked