Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Child mental health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Ongoing support thread?

276 replies

SouthWestmom · 04/11/2018 11:59

Shall we have one?

It's so difficult to deal with.

Anyone raising a child or young person with mental health issues who wants to just check in?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 01/12/2018 16:05

Will be bearing in mind what you say, Ohtheroses.

We've had a couple of experiences of CAMHS in the past. One appalling as I think I described earlier in the thread and the next one (with a different person) my DD found helpful.

OhTheRoses · 01/12/2018 16:12

Just think how many early interventions those acute admissions could fund if only the NHS were more joined up. And the admissions only take place because CAMHS only work 9-5. The mismanagement of resources is beyond reason.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 01/12/2018 21:49

Well, for us this week CAMHS have pulled it out the bag. But we have had some very visible and upsetting actions which I said I couldn't manage.

So, we are now in the system and getting some help which is fantastic.

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthWestmom · 01/12/2018 21:50

I do think early help should be an actual thing and not an ideology though. Even group sessions or drop in or something.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 02/12/2018 17:22

I would like easier access to help too.

I am anxious every time my DD is out of the house, which is a lot because of school and her job etc. I can't keep her prisoner or tied to my apron strings. She's 16, not a toddler, so that in a way makes it more difficult.

Topseyt · 02/12/2018 17:24

We have a clinic assessment on Thursday. I just hope that they get things moving this time as we just can't go on like this.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 02/12/2018 17:55

I hope your assessment goes well, you've been hanging in there for ages.

How is everyone else? We are trying to get back to school tomorrow after a hiccup and dc is currently in control mode - can't tell what's a test and what's illness.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 04/12/2018 13:00

Had to collect her from school yesterday. Not so far today.

Come Thursday, if they look like continuing to pass things from pillar to post, I will be tempted to say to them that we are reaching crisis point now and cannot continue.

Hope things are going better for you.

Helplessfeeling · 04/12/2018 20:53

We had a slightly calmer day today, DC went to school without a fuss, which was nice. I don't dare hope we have turned a corner though, I always get knocked right back down again. But tonight at least, things are ok. One day at a time. Hope things are ok with all of you!

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 04/12/2018 22:14

Oh fingers crossed for both of you.

We are not in a great place here, but school are being really kind.

It's just exhausting and I'm tired of telling people (not professionals) like work, friends etc.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 05/12/2018 20:30

Got our assessment tomorrow.

There has been quite a shenanigans today, but not so much with DD. When our local doctors surgery sent in DD's referral they made a clerical error and sent it in with our previous address on it. This is just a few doors down the road but as the current owners don't know us by name (weren't the ones we sold to) this means that I didn't get the documents and questionnaires needed for tomorrow so will have to go without. They had put it back in the box saying not known at this address, which I can't blame them for. We do it too when getting post for unknown named.

Annoyed with the local surgery. They are normally very good, but I will be asking them to note that this happened as it has caused huge inconvenience, not to mention the potential confidentiality breach. I shall just let it be a warning and to sink in.

Topseyt · 05/12/2018 20:33

So, we shall be going to the clinic without the necessary paperwork through no fault of our own.

Oh what fun!!

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 05/12/2018 21:05

Oh no, can you google and get the documents? Make notes of everything you need them to know - I have bullet points of everything and I make sure I mention them

OP posts:
Topseyt · 06/12/2018 03:20

I can't get the documents. Will have to be given them again at the clinic. They aren't downloadable and the rather useless admin there could find nothing to email to me.

I have spoken to DD and we think we are quite well versed in what we want to discuss.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 06/12/2018 20:05

How did you get on?

Mine is dreadful now, full on control mode, not doing what he's asked and claiming it's his ocd but I can't tell anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthWestmom · 06/12/2018 20:37

I have a question.

Do your kids blame you? Mine has just said it's my fault, he is not getting better and I have made him do this because I have said he is ruining the family, making me lose my job, etc etc

I said, so you mean because I've said mean stuff you are choosing to be ill? To go to school dirty?

And he said yes.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 07/12/2018 14:57

We got on OK. DD liked the counsellor/consultant. She confirmed that DD's weight is much to low, but DD has agreed to try the plan to slowly improve her eating.

There is also a further appointment to see both the counsellor and the team Doctor Psychiatrist in just over a week and then they might agree to medicate DD to help with the depression, along with further therapy sessions.

I don't think DD blames me, but these conditions are not logical. She does say that if horrible things are said it is the illness talking, not her.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 07/12/2018 15:41

Oh that sounds positive. Small steps and all that?

Do you think she wants to get better and eat more? Is that quite scary for her?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 07/12/2018 16:29

Yes, small steps. She finds it scary. So do I, but at least she seems agreeable to engaging with it.

fatpord · 20/12/2018 09:09

Can I join the thread, please? We're desperate and don't know what to do. My 17 year old DS has OCD. The doctor referred him to CAMHS but they wrote back to say he doesn't meet the criteria whatever that means (not suicidal?). We're paying privately for him to see a psychologist and I've found a private psychiatrist that will see him in the new year (which we can't really afford). The past week has been hell. His sleep is even worse than normal. He can't sleep because of the thoughts and his need to do the rituals over and over and my husband and I tag team through the night to be with him but we're exhausted. DS cries and says his mind hurts so much. He's fallen asleep at around 4am for the past four days. He says the same things over and over all night and is up and down doing rituals. He's missed most of the morning classes of college because of tiredness for the past couple of months and I can't see him going back after Christmas to be honest. I can't imagine how bad he's going to be if he's home all the time. I think the deterioration is partly because the school holidays have started and he's not seeing anyone. I feel responsible that our house isn't immaculately clean as contamination and 'body fluids' are part of his distressing thoughts. Does everyone else manage to keep their house tidy and clean? I have no interest in washing the floors - I'm just struggling to get through the day and keep up with the washing of towels and clothes which he is using.
The nights are so bad. I'm wondering if I should take him to A&E when he's like this at night? Will they assess him if I do? Will they prescribe medication if I do?

Topseyt · 20/12/2018 17:33

Fatpord, that sounds awful for him and for you all.

I'm surprised that he doesn't meet CAMHS criteria. Surely OCD is amongst the things they tackle!!? Can your GP write them a stern letter?

Our experiences of CAMHS over the years have been a bit hit or miss. At the moment they are being OK (ish), if rather slow and certainly very chaotic. Their admin leaves a lot to be desired.

My DD has just started her fluoxetine this morning. It literally took us six weeks to get to the point of getting a prescription. So now we have fingers crossed to see where that leads. She will be having therapy for her depression and eating disorder alongside it.

I hope you can manage to put pressure on and get the help that your DS needs. That you and your DH need too, because it certainly isn't easy being the parent of a child with MH issues.

fatpord · 20/12/2018 18:22

Topseyt, Thank you for your response.

How is your DD coping with Christmas? Does it make food even more of an issue? This must be really hard - not eating properly must impact on the depression? I can't imagine how exhausting it is trying to encourage her to eat all the time.

I've been looking at food for anxiety disorders and there really is quite a bit of evidence that shit food = shit mood. I'm lucky (ha!) that DS will eat anything I put in front of him. Must be miserable - I feel for you.

Topseyt · 20/12/2018 21:44

Thanks.

She is nervous about the food aspect of Christmas. Terrified of gaining weight, but unfortunately for her that is what she badly needs to do.

The depression suppresses appetite, and low appetite causes low mood, so a vicious circle. We are hoping that over the next few weeks the medication will start to help.

I hope you get some help soon. Fingers crossed for all of these young people and families over Christmas.

Topseyt · 20/12/2018 21:46

When DD does eat it usually isn't junk, but she doesn't eat anywhere near enough.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 20/12/2018 21:47

Hello fatpord

I don't want to be too outing but my dd was very visible and unsafe around the OCD and CAMHS have been amazing.

We also paid privately for a while but he didn't engage with the out of therapy stuff and it didn't work out.

I would keep a diary and go back to CAMHS or your GP. Maybe if you are paying that is making them think twice? Like two lots of stuff that may clash?

OP posts: