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Child mental health

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Original poster

Teenage Son and Daughter taller then father

27 replies

iun33 · 01/06/2018 23:07

HI everyone,
We need advice. My stepson is 14 and 6'3 and stepdaughter 16 and 6'2. Both children are tall and husky. I am 5'0 and my husband is 5'8. We can't discipline either child due to their size and they intimidate both of us.

OP posts:

PickAChew · 01/06/2018 23:10

How do they intimidate you? Why you feel the need to physically dominate them?

ragged · 02/06/2018 03:54

How do you want to discipline them that is impossible?
You can't drag them out of the house against their will, true.
You can turn the WiFi off or withhold pocket money.

SD1978 · 02/06/2018 04:28

I think you need to clarify. Do they have SEN? Prone to violent outburst? Have they assaulted anyone up until now? How often are they at your house? Does their mother have the same fears? If the o my issue is height, is your husband scared of everyone taller than him?

calliboat · 02/06/2018 06:03

What makes you intimidated by them op? Is it just their height or have they been aggressive/ violent towards you?

Original poster

iun33 · 03/06/2018 23:24

It's their height combined with their violence outburst s. They are very aggressive. It seems as they are taller their aggression is worse

OP posts:

WhatsGoingOnEh · 04/06/2018 00:10

Both children are tall and husky.

What does "husky" mean?

Batmanwearspants · 04/06/2018 00:17

Me and my brother were both a lot taller than both our parents. This was never an issue for us? Why do you need to intimidate these children?

ragged · 04/06/2018 04:59

I hope things improve for you, OP.

Original poster

iun33 · 04/06/2018 05:31

Husky is heavily built

OP posts:

wowbutter · 04/06/2018 05:34

I wouldn't say it's their height, it's they lack of respect.
Are you consistent with rules? How often do they spend time at your house?

BrandNewHouse · 04/06/2018 05:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/06/2018 06:11

Both dc are way taller than myself and their father. There is no issue in disciplining them. I am understanding that there is other things going on as you have posted in the Child Mental Health section

Notso · 04/06/2018 06:26

My older two are taller than me but not DH. I've never had problems disciplining them.
Have they always been violent? How are you disciplining them?

Bekabeech · 04/06/2018 06:28

What do you mean by discipline? They are 14 and 16 - if the only way you relate to them is by intimidation/control - then yes that flew a long time ago.

What are they doing wrong? What do you want them to do?
Can you relate to them like adults?

How do you relate to other adults?

And crucially is there a reason you posted in "Child Mental Health"?

samueledotericson · 04/06/2018 06:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

intuition · 04/06/2018 06:34

My boys are 13 and 14 and both over 6ft.

I did feel mildly intimidated when the eldest was taller than me at aged 10, I'm 5'7". But not any more. They are both 6-8" taller than me but I'm still their Mum and they wouldn't dream of using their size as a weapon. They respect me!!

Sounds like thee are other problems and some outside help might be needed.

Fflamingo · 04/06/2018 06:35

You can control access to the car, lifts to places, wifi, money you give them, you need to get angry and tough. This isn't being bad or nasty this is giving your DCs boundaries they probably should have had years ago. I would think many mid to late teens are physically fitter than their DPs. You've only got a few more years (hopefully) before they leave home so not that long to live with the battles this will cause, it will be worth it in the long run.

Original poster

iun33 · 04/06/2018 16:51

Were concerned with threats of being hit. They threaten to hit both of us and that frightens us. We are not sporty, or sports . Both kids are very athletic and would clobber us. I told my daughter she won't see her friends anymore and she put her fist in my face and said I will hurt you. :(

OP posts:

Wildlingofthewest · 04/06/2018 16:54

The issue has literally nothing what so ever to do with their height

If they are threatening violence and intimidating both of you then you need to address that. It shows a glaring lack of respect for you both.

SD1978 · 04/06/2018 16:54

For what reason are you trying to limit access to friends? Do you believe they are the issue? Do they live with you or the mother?

Bekabeech · 04/06/2018 18:32

If they are violent or threatening towards you then you could/should call the police.

courtneyseb · 04/06/2018 18:36

Height is not the reason you have this problem

KenDoddsDadsDogIsDead · 04/06/2018 18:45

My sons are nearly 6ft each. I am 5'1". Height means diddly squat when it comes to doing parental stuff.

luxurybiscuit · 04/06/2018 18:49

Absolutely nothing to do with their height and everything to do with their conditioning. My son is 6'2" and wouldn't hurt a fly. They have learnt that behaviour somewhere - is it with their other parents? You really need to look at this from a different perspective.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/06/2018 07:48

Why are you frightened of being hit.

I presume you said, You won't see your friends again, as a punishment for something. (Although if they are both in school and their friends are presumably in the same class that was a not a threat you could have carried out short of Home Schooling or changing schools)

How did the argument start.

Is there a theme in subjects that create these trigger points.

Again is there something in why you posted in Child Mental Health

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