Husband with terminal cancer- thinking all sorts of awful things that I shouldn’t think:

[bertomi]

Husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer in July 2024. It had already spread and despite 10 chemo sessions plus 6 immunotherapy sessions, he is now with palliative care nurses and we regularly visit our local hospice. My thoughts are that he doesn’t want a long drawn out death but he seems to be rallying as a result of the drugs he is on. He is v v thin but other than that he is better on these drugs. Forgot to mention he has a stoma bag.
I just feel like my life stopped in July 2024 ( how selfish of me to think about my life, I know). His small bowel will block at some point and at that point it is pretty much game over. My issue is … it’s the waiting. The waiting. When is he going to die? When is he going into the hospice? When can we all sort of …. Move on?? Don’t get me wrong, I adore him but I’m teetering on the edge of every day … could it be today??????? Can anyone relate??? Thanks

Bertomi, I am so sorry your husband has died but glad his pain has ended. Take it an hour at a time, live in the utter fog and be gentle on yourself, there are absolutely no rules other than the practical ones to address.

There are a number of us here who can offer guidance if and only when you need it so when you need to ask the questions do and we will all try to help.

Oh thank you for your lovely words. I could do with learning how to navigate this hollow emptiness that I’m feeling. Can’t believe it’s real xx

@bertomi I am so sorry and am thinking of you both xx hugs xx

I'm so very very sorry OP, words are not enough. You are in my thoughts xxx

Hello Bertomi

just stopping by to say hello and I thought of you the other day whilst walking the dog.

Awww thank you. We had the funeral on Monday and now I am stumbling through life. I am not sure I will ever feel complete again.

Thinking of you Bertomi, sending gentle hugs

Thank you 🙏