Can’t sleep,Possibly breast cancer and feeling frightened

[Rockschooldropout]

I’m 52 and on hrt so when I noticed my left breast felt a bit tender recently I put it down to hormones.Ive been a bit negligent with checking my boobs as I’ve had some heart issues and then my DDad died in April

However I noticed over the course of the last week , my left boob swelling before my eyes , the veins have become prominent and the side and nipple area became very tender . I managed to get a gp appointment this morning and after examining me she said she didn’t like the look of it as my skin is puckered and there’s an obvious quite large ill defined lump near my areola. She’s refered me on the 2 week pathway and I’ve made the mistake of falling down the Google hellhole of inflammatory cancer .
This evening DD came to give me a cuddle and rested her head on the side of my boob and it was painful - I’m not feeling very optimistic at the moment ..

I’m so sorry to hear this but you’re a step closer to the full picture and then to treatment to help you, if need be. I’m a week and a half in after a lumpectomy after a shock diagnosis, all happened fast and people are so kind. The op itself was no bother, even though I was worried about it.
Try to keep busy. There is so much good and caring advice on threads like this. Step away from google. X

You are enormously brave op: still thinking of your dc and about not worrying them despite what you are going through, Take a bow.

I’m pleased they were so straightforward and kind at the consultation and very glad it is being attended to. It’s must be so encouraging to hear the posters who have been through it and out the other side. We’ve all got our fingers crossed and sending masses of positivity.

Just to say I am sorry you are going through this. What you describe at the clinic is exactly what happened to my mam and we were sent away not knowing absolutely but with the surgeon saying 'I am 99% certain this will be cancer when we get the results back.' They came back really quickly . She chose a mastectomy (she was older than you), had it a fortnight later, it had not spread to her lymph nodes and the only other treatment she ever had was tamoxifen.

She had excellent treatment and a Macmillan breast nurse she could call for any reason who was wonderful. She died many years later of old age.

If your tests come back positive- and I hope they don't- I hope you have the same outcome.

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I hope your mind has a good remedy.

Do they suspect the HRT has caused or helped the cancer?

after a few tears , I’m just feeling a bit numb tbh it doesn’t feel like it’s happening to me

No that hasn’t been mentioned although the breast cancer surgeon has asked me to wean off my HRT now . They can’t really say if it has predisposed me to it but they’ll check my biopsies to see if it’s a cancer that uses oestrogen etc to grow

Thank you - that’s a lovely positive story , I’m so glad you got to spend many more years with her x

I don’t feel brave , I cried like a pathetic wimp !
However my children are everything to me and my 13 year old has already had a bone tumour , grandma and grandad with cancer (my dad who died in April ) so I don’t won’t turn her world upside down even more by ruining the holiday we have booked tomorrow.
I’ll wait for the biopsy results so I can at least tell them there’s a plan etc x

Sorry you are immersed in this too - I hope you are recovering from the lumpectomy?
Im going to assume you found this too but most people I’ve spoken to say things since to sweep along once you get the diagnosis x

Im banned from Google 🙈

Dear OP,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer on Christmas eve 2018. Not IBC but an aggressive form of cancer. My daughter was 12. It was very scary and upsetting for me and everyone. I had chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. I also got sepsis. I am not telling you this to scare you. I am telling you because today I was discharged after 5 years cancer free. Cancer is more treatable than ever before so please don't feel there is no hope. Good luck x

Being brave isn't not being scared, it's being scared and doing what you have to do anyway. So you are brave and you will be brave because you will go and get your results, if your results are positive you will make decisions with your clinical team that are in the best interest of yourself and your family and you will put yourself through some pretty horrible treatment because you are doing the best thing for your family. That is breathtaking bravery even or especially if it is done when you are scared and crying x

My heart goes out to you OP.

My mum had breast cancer while she was pregnant.

She had a mastectomy and radiotherapy and is now in her seventies.

Our family has heavily been affected by cancer like yours and i can empathise because it really takes it toll.

Hugs for you my lovely.

That gives me a little hope x
That sounds like a long regime though , were you able to work ? I’m self employed and worrying about how we will manage

I’m so happy to hear you’ve just had the all clear !
Being diagnosed on Christmas Eve - what a rubbish Christmas present 😩

I had sepsis 12 years ago and nearly died then .. it’s bloody awful .. it sounds like it’s been one hell of a ride for you , I hope now you can look positively to the future x

@clarepetal he is wonderful , we’ve only been married a year and it’s a second marriage for me . He’s 14 years younger than me so I feel sorry for the poor sod as he didn’t sign up for this 😩

@Crackwillow I’m so
pkeased you are still here ten years later ☺️, yes it’s a myth about the pain as it’s in the areas where the calcification is .. so yes no one should ignore breast pain

@ShittyTitty so glad you are doing well four years down the line . I love your username ! I might change mine to badbaps or murderous mammaries 🙈 . It certainly feels like that , how dare they turn on me after all these years !

@MartyFunkhouser I’m so glad your friend was in the clear , I wanted to believed it was innocent but the surgeon said the formation of the calcification is what leads them to believe it’s cancer . The radiographer showed me on the screen and there was a lot in a certain pattern in both areas

Yes. I was actually signed off for the duration but honestly o could have worked throughout except for the time of for appointments

I may have to still work as we both run a business and I just can’t not work .. it’s going to be frustrating if I have to cancel sone bookings though .. customers won’t be pleased , the diary is full for months . Right before I went to the drs I bought Kasabian tickets for me and my 14 year old for Manchester in Nov .. I’ll have to ask my grown up daughter to take her as it’s a three hour drive away , she’s going to be so upset 😩

If you want information use breast cancer now website, very well written and reliable resource, lots of information. I have just had lumpectomy after routine mammogram showed area of calcification and breast nurse referred me there. Waiting is the worst part. I hope it all turns out ok for you. Good luck 🙂

I'm so sorry that it does seem to be bc and am sending you a huge hug - it's such a shock when it happens but they'll crack on with sorting you out ASAP. Treatments are amazing and it sounds as though you've got a great team there to get you through it. Sending positive vibes to you and your darling family x

People will understand. Anyone who is upset can fuck right off. Do please tell them the truth of why you need to make any cancellations though, you deserve support from any front.

Don't forget to speak to Macmillan at some point, as they can advise not just on medical things but practical things like benefits and money while you go l through this - PIP may help a bit.

It’s not tears or otherwise that determine bravery; it’s actions.

ive told my 14 year DD I’ve pulled a chest muscle and that’s why I can’t lift anything , she seems to have bought that answer ! Just got to enjoy our few days away now and try and be normal x
Im so cross about having to stop HRT though , it had been a godsend for me , my periods had been all over the place before it with hot flashes , palpitations and dizziness .. typical !

Have they told you what treatment to expect after your lumpectomy?

@Lifestooshort71 Yes it’s weird , it feels like a bad dream right now

@ButtSurgery once I have the biopsy results and I know what I’m dealing with then yes I will be telling DCs , etc . MacMillan were great to get advice from when both my parents had cancer and I actually held an event in Feb and raised money for them , the irony !

@Rockschooldropout
so sorry that they think cancer likely. I am part way through treatment - diagnosed in June, lumpectomy on 13 July. We are all different of course but I am now back at work and feeling fine. Will have radiotherapy but not sure when. I have been pleased about how well I feel. So events later in the year may well be possible. It is a huge shock though- big hugs to you xxx