I've been diagnosed with a type of blood cancer this week, it's slow growing, I need a CT scan and then treatment and I'll be fine for a while and then it will probably come back. Repeat ad finitum.
I've told quite a few of my friends and family and most of them are being sickeningly positive (as expected) and one even googled the condition and said 'it could be worse' and I just... It's cancer. There's no getting away from it. I'll need treatment or checks for the rest of my life. I only found out last week so I'm in shock I suppose and don't know how to behave or react to other people. Or what to do. I need the scan to figure out the exact type and what type of treatment I'll have.
I feel like people aren't taking it seriously and 'oh it's treatable, you'll be fine' but it's cancer and it's a condition I'll have for the rest of my life! It's awful! Terrible! I can't believe it. I'm sad, I'm angry, I don't want to stress my family out by showing my real emotions, my DH has been wonderful but has admitted to me that he had a breakdown when he first found out, which is understandable and I don't have a problem with, of course.
Yes I'll be fine but you know what? Right now? I'm not. I'm anything but.