Can you tell who are novice campers ? as we may make right dicks of ourselves this weekend !

[CaptainUnderpants]

Can you tell by their shinny new tent ? The hassled look ? or the way they stand round looking for somewhere to plug in the microwave ?

How can we blend in this weekend ?

Well, last year it took us 2 hours to put our new tent up as DP had refused to do a test run in the garden beforehand (imagine how many times during that 2 hours I said "I told you we should have tried this at home first").

2 other families arrived during that time and had put their tents up, set up all their equipment and were cooking tea while we were still struggling to locate the tent pegs!

So, my top tip is make sure you know how to erect your tent and if you don't - pick a remote area of the campsite far away from other campers, who WILL stare at you and grin smugly!

do a dry run and colour code all your poles with insulating tape - also take a selection of pegs, it's sod's law , if you've only got standard wire pegs, you'll meet rock!

CaptainUnderpants (love your name btw). We will be in the same boat as you this w/e. Although dh and I are seasoned BC campers this is the first time proper (ie not eurocamp) that we have camped with the dds.

We have had a practice pitch as herbie recommends!

I think being breesy is probably the key. So even if you are still trying to locate which way up the inners go 3 hours after arriving you have to appear like this is absloutely how you usually go about things.

I would avoid shouting things like

"you are so stupid I'm furious that I allowed myself to breed with you"

"STOP STOP STOP NO NO NO NO"

"call this a holiday? this is utter utter shite, I hate you all"

and Dh's classic from last years aborted trip

"I am so angry I am going to shatter into a thousand pieces"

I imagine cracking into the wine very shortly after arrival (ie put wine into car 2nd last - just before tent on the top), would avoid some of the above occuring.

Good luck this w/e

If tent erecting is getting the better of you, stop and have a beer/wine break. This is key part of the breeziness as described by tatterdemalion. In fact, if you are DH, 1st action on arriving at pitch must to be crack open a beer.

top tip is to get there earlt in the day, then no matter how long it takes you to put the tent up, there wont be that many watching you!

By mid afternoon the site will probably full of people relaxing outside theirs supping on a beer and enjoying the entertainment of the 'haventaclues'!!

Good luck, we shall be trying a new tent out ourselves this weekend, and could be embarassing. We are seasoned campers and given this tent a dry run in the garden, but even that took about and hour and half (with lots of "hold it up" "not this way" "that way" etc, , so aiming to be there by 11am !

You could maybe scatter a few grass cuttings into your tent bag & rub a bit of soil into the shiny new tent pegs before you go so they look like they've been used!

We did 'first camping' last year & were thinking exactly the same!

We've done the tent in the garden , however it was in perfect conditions - good weather , kids not crankie after 3 hr drive and no one watching us !

Do you think howvere keep refering to the instructions may give it away ?

Good point about the wine being loaded last.

We're going after school on Friday along with most other people I feel

if the dcs are fractious after the journey and hindering rather than helping with the tent etc, send them away to find the loos / tap / playground etc in the hopes of having everythign straight when they come back

Don't forget to 'smile' at eachother as you hiss through gritted cheeks "whose bloody stupid idea was it to go camping in the first place" etc etc when its all going a bit wrong!

sorry through gritted teeth,!!

pmsl! This is me next week, although without the help of DH as he is working. I have practised pitching the tent with my 11 year old ds1, on the premise that if we keep his 8 y/o brother from whining, it'll all go up a lot faster

I have been obsessively checking the weather forecast for Norfolk next week, as I'm convinced that we will wake up in a pond.

I think I will do a back up and make sure that there's some sort of pizza/curry delivery service that comes out to campsites

haha this thread has made me laugh. love the "i'm so angry i'm going to shatter..." absolutely great!

i think the last 2 times we've been camping we've kept people amused when putting up tent.
i know for a fact we did last time cos people nice and snug out of wind and rain in their campervan laughing out window at us. must admit i was laughing with them- it was funny watching xp shouting and tent blowing away cos i was laughing too much to hold it down properly while he pegged it!
although think i may be about to be paid back for this on friday when i go it alone for the first time

methins tatters was close by when we borrowed a different tent last year....

oldie campers like newbies and often offer help. fresh fodder to convert

PMSL at "call this a holiday? this is utter utter shite, I hate you all"

My tip is to start out fairly scruffy. Very neat and tidy campers look as if they were heading for a hotel but fell on hard times on the way. Cultivate a muddy wellies and muzzy hair look at the start of the weekend. You'll end up that way by the Monday anyway ....

Enjoy your weekend. We're camping too - first time this year - hate hate hate the packing - always forget lots of things. Anybody got good tips for getting that bit right?

this thread is funny.

however, on a very boring note....relaaaax...no one cares if you are a beginner...much

It's absolutely de rigeur to wish your OH, inventors of tents, god and the rest of the world dead while erecting a tent or awning - Me and DH have a system where he gets everthing out of the van(talking awnings here -they truly are the work of satan) and lays the groundsheet out, then gracefully retires while i lay out poles and unfold the canvas, he then helps me get the damn thi9ng threaded onto the van before retiring with the kids to a safe distance, 10 minutes later he starts knocking pegs in while i get the kettle on! That is the secret of good camping and caravanning,Do what you're good at and butt out of what you're not!
IME women are bloody great at working out how tents and such go together and doing it with no fuss, men are best at hammering pegs,lugging things about and swearing

I can imagine having barney with DH - then we would have to sleep very close to each other with no spare room to escape to !

I think I'll go off with the kids and look for the playground or even better the local pub !

Yep, that's a good idea (going off with the kids to playground etc).

We once had a horribly complicated tent and to avoid the barney which was inevitable if we tried to put it up together, DH would do it solo whilst I verrrrry slowly made beans on toast for all.

A camping barney goes like this;
"If you're so bloody clever you can do it yourself!"
"Well I bloody will"
[One party storms off]

Sophisticated places, campsites.

I take the children for a walk and leave dh to it. That way we remain married.

Sooooooooooooo having checked the weather for the weekend, who is now bottling out?!

Staying strong .. still going !

laugh! Am still packing this end, but with rather less enthusiasm. Just think of the rows when we are all cooped up under one flimsy roof, staring at the clouds imagining we can see a distant bit of sunshine worming its way towards us!

We are quite tolerant of each other putting the tent up, it's the taking down that we bicker over. DH is the practical one and somehow can see shapes which I can't!

"Fold your end over to make a square"
"But there are no straight edges"
Just fold it over then you've got a square"
"There's nothing like a square. Left or right?"
"Just fold it..."

And so it goes on!!! We are hoping to get to the Lakes on Tuesday, weather dependent!