I'm 5foot 2 and weigh 14stone 8lb

[TellysAndWellys]

How did this happen. I am so, so ashamed of myself. I used to weigh in 13 stone, then overhauled my whole diet and got down to 9stone 8lb.

But I've put it all back on. And so much more. This is shameful and I cannot believe I have let it get this bad. I've even had to buy some size 20 tops. I have tried slimming world but that didn't really
Work for me. So I'm back to calorie counting. And 5:2. From today. I've got to stop making excuses. I am going on an amazing holiday in January with my 2 best friends and. CAN'T be the size I am now.

I am sick of feeling tired, uncomfortable and just plain shit because of what I eat. I've taken before photos (won't post them as they would scar you forever) and have stuck a photo of myself at my smallest when I still thought I looked fat on the fridge for inspiration. I can do this!!!

Happy Monday people! The working day is almost over with thank god.

I've had a terrible morning too, Iampert.
I've had 2, yes TWO bags of crisps 🙈Shameful. Started off well with yoghurt and fruit for my breakfast then the vending machines called to me so I got a bag of hula hoops. Then I nipped out at lunch and ANOTHERbag of crisps ended up in my clutches. I should be ashamed. Tomorrow I am bringing no money and no bank card, a grip is needed! Soup for tea though so can't reign it back in I hope

Finish work in 35 mins and all I want is some really creamy, buttery horrendously calorific mash potato. I've got it in my head and can't get it To go away. Today is not going to be a good day diet wise. Oh well, tomorrow's a new day

How is everyone doing today? I've had about 400 calories so far today (although that includes a can of Fanta 🙈).
Just about to leave to take ds to party at soft play that's 4.30-7!!!??!!?? So that will be rubbish. But they do lovely cake there....
Anyway I'm struggling today, my heads not in it. Feel like snuggling down on the settee with a takeaway and glass of wine like I did twice at the weekend
Going out for a meal tomorrow straight from work so need to keep my head in the game but finding it hard. My period is due (sorry if tmi) so think that's got something to do with the absolute craving for comfort food

Hi @TellysAndWellys well done on keeping to 400 so far. That gives you plenty for dinner and maybe a cake treat!

I am struggling a bit to be honest. I am really fighting th urge to eat all the time. I bought a packet of biscuits today when I went to grab some salad bits for lunch and I have scoffed so many!! I'm not sure if I will want dinner now! I had a bad nights sleep last night and am completely zonked today. Cannot wait to finish work and go to bed!!!

All gone to pot tonight. I've just had a lovely cheese and tomato panini and chips and I've just ordered a slice of lemon drizzle cake. So gone well over my calories 😔

I'm the same, I just want to eat constantly. I have no self control. At least you have an excuse. I'm just greedy! Just got to try and stay focussed. If Want to lose 2.5lbs this week so that takes me to a stone but I doubt that's going to happen. Ahhh this is hard

I believe in you @TellysAndWellys!! You've done so well I'm sure you can knock 2 off this week.

We have Thai green curry in the fridge for tonight but I can't face the thought of it. 3 nights in a row is just too much. What I really want is a bowl of pasta but I can't be bothered to make it and it's not exactly going to help my fat arse situation. Or pizza would be nice. Sigh.

Indian takeaway ordered. Tomorrow, I will kick myself up the butt and sort myself out. Going to make a salad to take to work for lunch now!!

Doing ok-ish. My new job means a bit more walking on my commute so that can't hurt! Today has been granola with nectarine and a splash of milk, lunch of sushi (sadly Asda rather than fancy restaurant) and snacks of two clementines and a small packet of Squares. Egg fried rice for dinner so not amazing but it was homemade so loads of veg and not much oil.

Thanks Iampert! I need a bit of self belief at the moment. I know I can do this, just got to take it one week at a time. How was the Indian? Sometimes you just need to say 'stuff it' and get a takeaway and put your feet up. It's not the end of the world. And even if it was, takeaway and feet up is a good way to bow out

You sound like you're doing really well Heir. Your menus always sound really balanced. How's the running going? I haven't been in 2 weeks but will be going on Monday!

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. This week is dragging. And I still don't feel 100% right. You know when you can't put your finger on it but you know a couple of days in bed will sort you out? But oh well, off to work go. Roll on 5 o'clock

I have huge takeaway and biscuit guilt today and feel quite sick this morning. I've no idea whether that is the beginning of morning sickness or due to my junk consumption yesterday - I suspect the latter!! Either way I'm not looking forward to getting on a crowded train this morning!

Wishing you all a good day today!!

I haven't run since Saturday which is a bit bad. It's my official 10k this Saturday! So I'll do a short run this evening and maybe another little one on Thursday.

Just had a bowl of porridge to start the day. I think the child and I will have beans on toast for lunch and then dinner will be Slimming World fake KFC with sweet potato wedges and homemade slaw.

Hopefully it's just your body feeling the takeaway regret rather then dreaded morning all bloody day sickness. How are you feeling now?

Good luck for Saturday Heir! You're doing really well, I set my alarm for 5 yesterday in the hope I'd get up and run round the block.... safe to say that didn't happen.

Doing ok so far, 200 cals on fruit and yoghurt. Planning beans on whole meal toast from tea which will take me to 440 cals.

Almost time to finish work and the thought of having a takeaway is making my mouth water. Was supposed be going out for tea but that's fell through thank god, I'm unsociable so it was big plans for beans on toast but ds is staying my parents, there's a new film on sky I want to watch and well, I'm greedy.

I'm feeling very slightly queasy but I'm fine thank you @TellysAndWellys. Unfortunately eating something stodgy seems to get rid of it which isn't helpful when I'm trying to watch my carbs! I'm very worried about gestational diabetes because my BMI is 27.5 

I'm on 545 cals so far today which isn't bad, so I'm ok with that. DH is out tonight so at least I don't need to worry about feeding him.

My weekend is going to be BAD. I have 4 birthday meals out - fri, sat, sun lunch and dinner, and my bday is Monday and that will definitely involve food! And next week we have two big birthdays at work plus two other celebrations in my little team of 5 and everyone is bringing cake each day!!!!

Arrrrrrrgggghhjhhhhhhhh why can't we be those super-skinny-eat-whatever-they-like types!!!!

What takeaway are you having @TellysAndWellys? not jealous at all........

Yeah carbs were the only thing that helped my sickness. I just ate and ate and ate, I was so sick though I actually lost a few pounds when I was pregnant.

545 calories is brilliant! Well done. Your weekend sounds AMAZING!! 4 meals out is my dream haha. I'm going away this weekend so I'll be eating out for every meal. I'm just going to try and stick to 3 square meals and desserts and not snack. But apart from that I'm just going to relax and not worry

Pizza Iampert. Feel guilty about having it and I haven't even ordered it yet! Although I have JUST remembered The Apprentice starts tonight so if that's not a good excuse for a takeaway I don't know what is

Pizza sounds good @TellysAndWellys. If you have a really thin one and have lower fat cheese it's not quite so bad? Particularly if you choose leaner toppings as opposed to salami etc.

I've picked up some m&s crispy chilli beef and there's some leftover rice to have with it.
Hardly a nutritious and balanced dinner. I'll come in about 1050 cals which is ok I think, but the balance isn't right. I'm so scared I'm going to be the size of a house!!!!

Ooooo apprentice!! Bollocks, DH will be fuming if I watch that without him, but in my defence he's out tonight and tomorrow night....

The pizza has been consumed! Had a medium cheese and tomato from Dominos it was...... the nicest thing ever. I dread to think how many calories I've just had but oh well. Tomorrow's another day. Although I seem to be saying that a lot recently.

1050 calories is really good! You're doing so well!

Ahh no man in his right mind would deny his pregnant wife th chance to watch a programme without him. You can't be expected to wait 2 whole days. Or watch it and then pretend you haven't

Oooo very nice!

I had to work late tonight and then I somehow wasn't paying attention and failed to notice the last minute update on screen at the station. After 20 mins I realised I was in fact on the wrong train. So I'm now still about 30 mins from home and feeling pretty annoyed with myself!!

I'm blowed if I'm walking home from the station, taxi it is I think. Waste of a fiver but right now I don't care!

Hope you got home safe and sound Iampert! I've just got home from work, trying so so hard to do a 500 cal day today. I've had 140 calories so far. Going to have the willpower of steel, have soup for tea and get in bed asap.

How hasn't today been?

Afternoon @TellysAndWellys im on the way home from work. Early tonight but I needed a break so will carry on when I get home.

I had porridge for brekky and then a pulled pork & veg nacho thing for lunch, I dread to think what the calories were but at least 700, if not more. I intend to just have fruit tonight, though right now I'm so tired I just want to go to bed!!!

So I ended up going to McDonalds. First time in ages as well. Got back from work and went to pick ds up from my cousins and soon as I walked in 4 kids descended on me begging me to take them
(They had obviously conspired). So like th good person I am we all jumped in the car and as I had no self control, I ordered some
Fries. Had a large fries and a small coke which, according to the website, is 550 calories. So not the end of the world and Keeps me sort of on track. It hasn't even touched the sides though 🙈

Did you say your dh is out tonight? If I was you I'd have a hot bath then starfish in bed!

I was worse than that telly, I had a plate of pasta. I need someone to tape my mouth shut. Well done for being restrained.

I have caught up on doctor foster tonight and I have no idea why I'm still awake. Working from home tomorrow so at least I don't need to be up at 6, phew!!

The weekend is nearly here :-)

Yeah I think having my mouth taped up in my next diet. It's the only way.
What did you think of Doctor Foster, I thought it was rubbish, such a disappointment. Loved Liar though if you've been watching that?

Yes thank god it's Friday. I've been up since 5.30 but am still lying in bed, I can only get out of bed in multiples of 5 so the next allocated time is 6.15. Can't be getting out of bed at 6.12!!

Roll on 5 tonight!

Haha that's funny!! I'm still in bed, which is soooo nice!

Yep I though dr foster was disappointing this time, she was crazy!! Liar is brill but I haven't caught up yet, I've got one episode still to catch up on.

I've gotta be really good today cause it's diner out tonight!

Managed to drag myself out of bed sobbing. Made a sandwich for my dinner which is the first time I've made dinner for work in week. Although I won't be having it for dinner, I can gurantee I'd have scoffed it by 10am.

Yeah I just thought Dr Foster went very weird, how could they not see the damage they were doing to their son. Casually talking about his dads imminent suicide over some toast in a dodgy travel lodge?!?!?

Are you going anywhere nice for tea? I've got all my meals and cocktails planned out from breakfast to tea Sunday as I'm away all weekend. Not sure how many calories I'll have ended up consuming but I'm going to estimate it at 1000000 or so! Oh well.

Went to drop ds with my mum this morning and tried on a size 14 jacket I got in the sale last year. It wouldn't even come close to fastening when I got it but today it fastened!!!!! Bit tight but still it felt amazing. And I had to go and buy a size 16 pair of trousers for work as the 18 were hanging off me so good to see the difference.

I'm at work now, it's going to be a long day but off to book a holiday at lunch so I'm in a good mood.

Have a nice morning in bed. Sorry, at work