I can't cope with bully mum anymore

[SakuraB]

Hi everyone, I dont know what to do honestly I am struggling so much with a situation I'm in started by a neighbour/mum from my child's school.

Please please don't judge me I just need advice because it's affecting my mental health quite bad.

2 years ago this neighbour put a complaint in about us behind our back because me and my partner sometimes had heated arguments, when I found out about it thanks to a letter we recieved stating who made the complaint I confronted her about it asking why she did it and why she didn't come to me, she was basically accusing my partner of abuse which was absolutely untrue, saying she didn't come to me because I would make excuses up, and that it's not normal to argue and that her and her partner never do, even to this day she has never apologised for falsely accusing him and still thinks she's in the right.

Anyway because of that we havnt really been on the best of term's, but instead of her just leaving it, there have been numerous times when she has told lies about me on her Facebook, she seems to have a large group of friends and a big family so she seems to get away with saying whatever she wants about me and they all believe her instead of just staying out of it and not judging, she has done this a few times, any chance she gets she has a dig at us on her facebook, by the way I havnt been checking, I've just been told this and sent screenshots,

She makes things up about me and I get made to be the bad one because she has like I said a large group of friends and family where as I don't, I get horrible looks from other mothers from the school when I go on the school runs because I've no idea what she has said to them, I mentioned to a few other mothers that I thought I could trust that I felt she was bullying me, because nasty posts on social media is classed as bullying isn't it? Anyway she ranted about me saying I had accused her of bullying and why was I so adamant on making her out to be bad?

It's completely the other way around! But like I said everyone believes her and has targeted me for some reason, a family member of hers even left a comment basically threatening me, this from someone that doesn't know me from Adam, I can't cope with her nasty behaviour I have to take my children to school a different route and get them in just before the gate closes just so I can avoid her and her clique, thing is she knows I have bad mental health but has still chosen to carry on this cruel vendetta against me, why would someone be so hell bent on destroying someone that struggles in life enough already?

I just need some real advice and understanding, I've tried to be nice to her and sort things out but she really doesn't want to know, is there anything at all I can do?

Thankyou for your time.

@SakuraB

Is it? I really didn't see it like that, but she didn't need to post about it and make things even worse, she did it because she wanted to get attention and paint me out to be the villain as usual

Of course it is. You might think she's a vindictive cow who would do that, but you don't imply it to her husband knowing damn well it would get back to her! You say okay thanks and say to yourself shit, hope she hasn't binned it.

Youre stirring the pot, and part of you knows it.

Yeh I guess I really didn't think at that point then

I'm not being harsh, but I know how these types work and she's making you miserable, changing your route to school and everything, you must be so stressed.

You've done well blocking her now, just erase her from your life as much as you can. And stop poking the bear

Your giving her too much head space and your letting her win just ignore and block and get on with your life.

Believe me I'm trying to get on with my life its just hard when she is constantly there and I can't go anywhere without her being there

That's ok I know you wernt being harsh I appreciate your comment and honesty, I will try my best to ignore her from now on and ask not to be told anything she might say, hold my head high and move on

With kindness OP, she is definitely being a cow and cruel, but i think youre actually making the situation a lot worse than it needs to be. Stop confronting her. Stop engaging with all of them. Block, ignore, stop confronting. Its just creating more drama and a feud situation. You cant have that with your neighbour. You have to make peace or a truce somehow. Stop putting more fuel on the fire by giving her any attention. Hopefully it will blow over soon or youll have to find a way to move

I think if a neighbour can hear you arguing with your partner, it’s reasonable that they might worry about the family dynamics. Plus it can’t be pleasant to listen to.

Her posting about you online isn’t nice… but asking if she would bin your parcel is quite inflammatory too. And feeding any cat that’s not yours is wrong. If you think it’s a stray you can take it to a vets for it’s microchip checking. But taking it upon yourself to feed a cat could make them ill. What if they are on a restricted diet that you don’t know about?

Honestly neither of you come off great here. Just block her on Facebook and stop interacting with her.

I have tried making peace she genuinely isn't interested, I feel I can't go anywhere around my area because of her and her mates the nasty things they say about me, her friends dont even know me at all only what she is saying to them and how am I supposed to convince them otherwise? One of her family members even threatened me, its honestly all so ridiculous and its basically bullying

Yes I have blocked her, how is it wrong feeding a stray cat? We were just trying to look after it, thing is it wasn't even her cat either but she used to feed it too, and others in the street did but she had a problem with me doing it? As for the arguing once we realised it could be heard and we were causing a problem we stopped, but seemed like she just wanted to carry it on, she would say God knows what about me and my partner to her mates at the school then we would get judgemental looks making the school runs uncomfortable, then the posts she was leaving on fb but then she gets put out when I said she was being a bully, its plain and simple thats what she was doing, but honestly this woman is clever and manipulative and conniving and is so good at making herself look the victim