The school say I can't see the video. Do you think this is right?

[Primrose82]

So basically it's come to light that my son was rugby tackled/kicked over and filmed by another child and put on snap chat and shared! This only came to light after a couple parents contacted me to tell me their child had seen the video on snap chat. I have asked school if I can see it and they say they are not allowed to show me. But my son is in it and its been shared all around Snap chat stories. Do you think that's right or do you think it's because they don't want it 'out there' and will make the school look bad. There's no way I would share it as my son didn't want to filmed or wasn't aware in the first place. :-(

I think how the school choose to punish the boys is not as important as what they are putting in place to keep your son safe in future. I would be looking at what they are saying about that and if it doesn't sound sufficient then think about going to the police and taking your own steps to ensure he is kept safe.

@Mummyoflittledragon

He doesn’t go out at all or out and about

Ah bless him. Does he have any gaming mates or online friendships etc?
If your ds is online a lot I’d also be concerned about cyber bullying from these boys.

The school will not let you see the video and will cite safeguarding of the other boy / kids.

I would seriously consider going to the police. It’s natural not to make a fuss. It’s like my dd, albeit the implications for everyone are far more. She has a medical condition. It takes time to get over as her heart stops beating then automatically restarts. She wasn’t well enough to school for a few days due to her cognitive functions not having returned fully but was well enough to go to a dance class a couple of days later. She didn’t want me to tell the staff at dancing. But as they have a duty of care to her, they should be told if she’s under the weather.

What I’m trying to say, is sometimes we have to be parents, who have had life experience and understand the possible implications of not. I thoroughly understand there could also be implications for involving the police.

Was is the same child or group of kids, who broke another child’s ankle?

No not the same child but a very similar thing happened and it resulted in broken ankles so they take things like this very seriously. They're not so worried about the bullying but about the physical injury it can cause.

@Mummyoflittledragon

He doesn’t go out at all or out and about

Ah bless him. Does he have any gaming mates or online friendships etc?
If your ds is online a lot I’d also be concerned about cyber bullying from these boys.

The school will not let you see the video and will cite safeguarding of the other boy / kids.

I would seriously consider going to the police. It’s natural not to make a fuss. It’s like my dd, albeit the implications for everyone are far more. She has a medical condition. It takes time to get over as her heart stops beating then automatically restarts. She wasn’t well enough to school for a few days due to her cognitive functions not having returned fully but was well enough to go to a dance class a couple of days later. She didn’t want me to tell the staff at dancing. But as they have a duty of care to her, they should be told if she’s under the weather.

What I’m trying to say, is sometimes we have to be parents, who have had life experience and understand the possible implications of not. I thoroughly understand there could also be implications for involving the police.

Was is the same child or group of kids, who broke another child’s ankle?

He doesn't do online gaming. He just minds his own business, has a few friends at school. The attack was completely unprovoked.

The school isn't providing a safe environment. There is a pattern of abuse resulting in broken bones. I would be talking loudly and clearly to the police and head. What would be their reaction if you mention a lawyer?
Just because it's children abusing other children doesn't make this acceptable or something to be brushed aside.
I would also consider approaching the other parents for a possible copy of the video, and talking to Snapchat to ensure the no other copies are circulated on the platform (although once downloaded they would have no control over it).
Any child tagged in it should have their account deleted.
You're describing a toxic environment and pattern of abuse. It's unacceptable.

I agree with MondayYoghurt. They haven’t taken the bullying seriously until your ds was at risk of actual physical harm instead of psychological abuse.

The school needs to be intervening faster and they don’t appear to be doing that at the moment. With this history and without reporting to the police, how is the school going to protect your ds going forward? Psychological abuse / bullying can be far more damaging than physical.

I glad to read at least your has some friends at school. So not completely isolated.

@MondayYogurt

The school isn't providing a safe environment. There is a pattern of abuse resulting in broken bones. I would be talking loudly and clearly to the police and head. What would be their reaction if you mention a lawyer? Just because it's children abusing other children doesn't make this acceptable or something to be brushed aside. I would also consider approaching the other parents for a possible copy of the video, and talking to Snapchat to ensure the no other copies are circulated on the platform (although once downloaded they would have no control over it). Any child tagged in it should have their account deleted. You're describing a toxic environment and pattern of abuse. It's unacceptable.

The issue is my son begging me not to do anything. He thinks he's a much worse person than they are. He suffered from ocd and intrusive thoughts :-( he can't see what they did was wrong or doesn't want to admit it. I'd just like more feedback from the school. The only times I've talked to them about it I'd when I've initiated it. I guess they want to sweep it under the carper. The school is a small comprehensive school so I was hoping the head may have contacted me.

It could be that the School can’t due to other kids being in the video (safeguarding although ironic) or/and they don’t want you getting your hands in it. While they have it, they have more control over the outcome.
I understand your son not wanting the Police involved - in our experience the School will get very tetchy and deflect blame if this happens. But I don’t regret reporting a serious incident. These kids sound like they need some boundaries laying and if the School won’t do that then you might have to.
Hope your son is okay.

I might add the exact same thing happened to my dd. Minding her own business and was attacked and left bruised.
My best advice is don’t have regrets.
Some teachers think I’m overprotective because I went to the police. I don’t care at all. It’s not their child.

Go to the police then. It's unlikely they'll get the punishment you want once you've watched it. Unless you're going to go hunting purge style.

🧟‍♀️ 🧟‍♂️

Please look at the dates on these posts.

This thread was last updated by the OP in July 2021!!

I'm pretty certain things will have been sorted by now.

Fuxache. People who dig up graves need a stern word.