The school say I can't see the video. Do you think this is right?

[Primrose82]

So basically it's come to light that my son was rugby tackled/kicked over and filmed by another child and put on snap chat and shared! This only came to light after a couple parents contacted me to tell me their child had seen the video on snap chat. I have asked school if I can see it and they say they are not allowed to show me. But my son is in it and its been shared all around Snap chat stories. Do you think that's right or do you think it's because they don't want it 'out there' and will make the school look bad. There's no way I would share it as my son didn't want to filmed or wasn't aware in the first place. :-(

Just to add these boys have been verbally bullying my son for a while or generally taking the piss. My son was stood still with his back to these boys and had no idea it was going to happen.

Pps this is senior school age children 14 /15 years.

so your child was physically assaulted and evidence exists.
go to the police.

does the school even have the video?

So they definitely have a copy? If so I'd say if they can't share it with you they need to submit it to the police and you can go down the official route.

@purplesequins

so your child was physically assaulted and evidence exists. go to the police.

does the school even have the video?

Yes someone from the school told me they have found the video on the child's phone, a copy sent to the head master and the video deleted from the child's phone.

@Cassandraprobs

So they definitely have a copy? If so I'd say if they can't share it with you they need to submit it to the police and you can go down the official route.

Yes they do. But I don't really want police involved but I do want to see the video also I want to make sure the children in question receive a suitable punishment.

I know your child is in the video but so are other children and they don't have the right to show the video with them in it. Nor do you have the right to know how they are punished. Personally I would go via the police

What is the reason for not wanting to go to the police with this? You will probably never have a better opportunity to get these horrid kids punished/excluded. If this had happened to your son outside of school, and with strangers, would that have made a difference in regards to going to the school? I understand that your son probably just wants to squash it, but for his sake I think you should blow this up. He needs to know exactly how wrong they are for doing that to him.

Go to the police!!

@Snoken

What is the reason for not wanting to go to the police with this? You will probably never have a better opportunity to get these horrid kids punished/excluded. If this had happened to your son outside of school, and with strangers, would that have made a difference in regards to going to the school? I understand that your son probably just wants to squash it, but for his sake I think you should blow this up. He needs to know exactly how wrong they are for doing that to him.

It's my son, he said he doesn't want the police involved or anything big made of it as 1.he worries if would make it worse and 2. He believes that everyone makes mistakes. He think they will be sat at home feeling so bad for what they have done and that's bad enough for them. I tried to explain to him that not everyone thinks like you. My ds is on the autistic spectrum too and can't sometimes understand people's intentions.

@Primrose82

It's so easy to think the way your son is thinking, but I think that's just wishful thinking. I don't for a second think that the people who did this are at home feeling bad about it. Sometimes we as parents have to do what we think is best for our children, even if they don't agree. I think this is one of these times. They won't change if they get away with it, if anything it will probably just escalate and get worse for your son. Especially since they have been abusive towards him for some time.

[quote Snoken]@Primrose82

It's so easy to think the way your son is thinking, but I think that's just wishful thinking. I don't for a second think that the people who did this are at home feeling bad about it. Sometimes we as parents have to do what we think is best for our children, even if they don't agree. I think this is one of these times. They won't change if they get away with it, if anything it will probably just escalate and get worse for your son. Especially since they have been abusive towards him for some time.[/quote]
What do you think the police would do in this situation?

@Primrose82 hope you and your ds are ok.
My dd was assaulted at school put on social media.
The school rang me said there was a minor incident in school and to collect her.
I was at work and DH went and I seen video later in evening and it was not minor.
It was a full on scrap pulling kicking shoving.
I emailed principal that evening to meet 2 days later but should have said next day
She told me to stay calm this really ragged me.
Went to meeting 2 days later asked to see it on school cameras she would not allow this. I said if I get police will you show me she said I would advise you to not go down the police route they will say sort with school.
My dd did not want police so I did what she wanted.
The girl got suspended for 2 weeks and I was told would not be in my dd class after 2 weeks girl returned and I my dd class I rang school and they sorted this as best they could.
This year same girl got involved in a fight out of school during lockdown and was suspended from returning to school for last term.
I felt this unfair that she hit my dd in school got 2 weeks suspension but when she got involved outside of school to a more popular family she got term suspension
Don't know if she allow back in September.
School can not tell you how they handle other people.

Ime not a lot.

I understand why you want to see it though. Any chance any of those friends parents who let you know have a copy? (Or could get one?)

I am really sorry this has happened to your son. I am not sure what you can do if your son doesn't want to go to the police.

This is why phones should be banned in schools.

@AppleKatie

Ime not a lot.

I understand why you want to see it though. Any chance any of those friends parents who let you know have a copy? (Or could get one?)

One child's parent tried for me but these bullies put it on snap chat stories or something where it dissapears after a few seconds? I don't have snap chat so don't understand it

@Bubblespider

I am really sorry this has happened to your son. I am not sure what you can do if your son doesn't want to go to the police.

This is why phones should be banned in schools.

Phones are banned in their school so that's another thing they will have to deal with!.

Our school has a police link officer, could they go and have a firm chat with the kids that hurt your son if you don’t want the official police channels?

[quote Andi2020]@Primrose82 hope you and your ds are ok.
My dd was assaulted at school put on social media.
The school rang me said there was a minor incident in school and to collect her.
I was at work and DH went and I seen video later in evening and it was not minor.
It was a full on scrap pulling kicking shoving.
I emailed principal that evening to meet 2 days later but should have said next day
She told me to stay calm this really ragged me.
Went to meeting 2 days later asked to see it on school cameras she would not allow this. I said if I get police will you show me she said I would advise you to not go down the police route they will say sort with school.
My dd did not want police so I did what she wanted.
The girl got suspended for 2 weeks and I was told would not be in my dd class after 2 weeks girl returned and I my dd class I rang school and they sorted this as best they could.
This year same girl got involved in a fight out of school during lockdown and was suspended from returning to school for last term.
I felt this unfair that she hit my dd in school got 2 weeks suspension but when she got involved outside of school to a more popular family she got term suspension
Don't know if she allow back in September.
School can not tell you how they handle other people.[/quote]
Thats awful, that's so sad that kids could do that:-( it hurts as a parent doesn't it?

@Primrose82

If the police is involved, it should definitely make the school take this much more serious. It's assault after all. If that happened to me whilst walking down the street I would contact the police and I would expect them to at the very least have a word with the people who did this.

Your ds doesn’t want you to go to the police. Sometimes you have to do what is right. Not what a child wants.

I’m also aware the end of term is nearly upon you. Are you able to keep your ds safe during the holidays?ie does he go out much etc.

What is the school doing in terms of sanctions and keeping your ds safe?

I would speak to the school and say I’m seeing this or going to involve the police. I’d also speak to parents who have seen it to try to view. I think they’re taking the piss

They're more concerned about how dangerous it was as they have bad a similar incident where someone had broken an ankle. That child has been given in school sanctions I believe and his parents called in so he's got off quite lightly. The school hadn't dealt with the other children when I spoke to them. I know of the boys and they come from good, stable families. I shouldn't think their parents took it well.

@Mummyoflittledragon

Your ds doesn’t want you to go to the police. Sometimes you have to do what is right. Not what a child wants.

I’m also aware the end of term is nearly upon you. Are you able to keep your ds safe during the holidays?ie does he go out much etc.

What is the school doing in terms of sanctions and keeping your ds safe?

He doesn't go out at all or out and about:-(

He doesn’t go out at all or out and about

Ah bless him. Does he have any gaming mates or online friendships etc?
If your ds is online a lot I’d also be concerned about cyber bullying from these boys.

The school will not let you see the video and will cite safeguarding of the other boy / kids.

I would seriously consider going to the police. It’s natural not to make a fuss. It’s like my dd, albeit the implications for everyone are far more. She has a medical condition. It takes time to get over as her heart stops beating then automatically restarts. She wasn’t well enough to school for a few days due to her cognitive functions not having returned fully but was well enough to go to a dance class a couple of days later. She didn’t want me to tell the staff at dancing. But as they have a duty of care to her, they should be told if she’s under the weather.

What I’m trying to say, is sometimes we have to be parents, who have had life experience and understand the possible implications of not. I thoroughly understand there could also be implications for involving the police.

Was is the same child or group of kids, who broke another child’s ankle?