6 year old daughter being bullied by children in street

[glasalx1]

Hi folks,

I am father to a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son. Both play regularly with several children in our street. However, my 6 year old daughter is being singled out for what I consider to be bullying by the other children.

My daughter is slightly immature for her age and I believe this to be the catalyst for much of the bullying. She has a fantastic, gentle nature but can be reactionary and seeks an adult to fight her battles. The pattern is that (several times in an evening) she will run into the house crying and complaining that the children are ganging up on her, calling her names, throwing objects at her, and excluding her from play. Tonight she told me she was struck hard across the face by one of the children. I have witnessed this behaviour first hand and have never had any reason to doubt my daughter, however the children flatly deny it when I ask them.

I live in a middle class area and no other parent seems to be willing to get involved. It has reached a stage where I feel any further involvement from me will increase the possibility that my child could be bullied further. The next stage is to speak to the parents of all of these children, which would involve knocking at least 4 doors. While I can be tactful it could undoubtedly lead to allegations of paranoia and falsely accusing their children. I was bullied as a child and am aware that the trauma can last a lifetime. I don't want this for my daughter and can see that it is already impacting on her.

Really grateful for any advice. Thanks.

You included the information that your 4 year old also plays out along side your 6 year old so it is open to be commented on.

Sorry you didn't like me questioning whether you happily (until now) feel it's ok to let two very young children out to play in the street with no adult supervision.

Your post just goes to show it is not working very well for your daughter and my advice would be to supervise the play time in your own back garden or with you out in the street.

I personally do feel that letting a 6 yr old & 4 yr old play in the street unsupervised is going off, after all you don't actually know what's going on when you aren't supervising their play do you?

I would be cautious about accepting your DD's version of events without checking. I remember my DS coming into the house very upset saying that another boy had pushed him over. I went out all guns blazing. The other boy said that DS had tripped over. I questioned DS who admitted that this was true but that the other boy had laughed at him. Okay, not exactly the nicest thing to do but an awful long way from pushing DS over.

Sorry you feel unhappy with the way that the thread has gone, OP.
Mumsnet can be quite robust in its responses, which can be a bit of a surprise if you are not expecting it.

I was an infant and early years teacher for many years and can assure you that, although children of that age may play independently in the playground, the adults on duty are constantly sorting out problems of the 'she pushed me/isn't playing with me properly/is being nasty to me' variety. These problems are often long, entangled and a mish-mash of perceptions and partial versions of the truth. Children need to be shown and taught how to play fairly, resolve disagreements, include everyone etc, whether this is by parents or teachers.

So while it is lovely for them to play out in a safe environment, on many levels they do need some kind of supervision at that age, if only to resolve these difficulties fairly and without someone feeling aggrieved. Older children will have probably acquired those skills along the way, as above.

I suggest sitting on a chair in the front garden, if only to get a better picture of what is going on.

Bullying on the street.
My just gone 5 year old son likes to play out on the street. I've only just let him do this,we live in a cul de sac where there are other children of his age, younger and older. I sit in the garden where I can see him playing, but there is a field at the top of the street, he knows not to go on there. There a group of older boys who have encouraged my son and his friend who is the same age to go onto the field, if I can't see my son on the street I walk up and he's there on the field, he knows the consequences and he's in nomore playing out. There is 1 boy in particular as I'd put it has it in for my son he's 7 but a big 7, you'd think him about 10 to look at him, there have been several occasions when my son has come home crying, him and his friend have been playing out together in his friends garden and also in our garden, the big boys as I call them come along and that's when things start happening, my son is singled out, can't play with them even tho his friend can, the 1 boy in particular is the one, he goads my son, teases him and when muy son retaliates he starts, hitting, kicking, swearing, he's pushed my son down a banking in another person's garden and she kindly told me my son had fallen down it and when it all came out the 7 year old had pushed him down, I heard his words, I'll do what I did to you yesterday I'll push you down the banking again and his mate piped up ye in my back garden again.the parents are unapproachable especially dad, who has a go at other children if they pick on his son whom I must add likes to give it but can't take it!! I'd just love for my son to play out once and not come home crying, the other day he was choked by another child, I didn't know what to do, about this, should I of called the police, the child in question who did this was the same age as my son but been encouraged by his older cousins and friends to do choke my son, there was even marks on my sons neck and when I got to where the incident happened he was coughing and spluttering. I just don't know what to do or say. I've 2 other children but they are 28 and 25 I never had any problems like this with them, I'm just fed up of it all, my son has gone to stay at his dad's for a few days cos I want my son out of the way and now my son has told his dad even more stuff that has happened to him by the boy aged 7