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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

1386 replies

lisalisa · 20/07/2005 14:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
nooka · 30/07/2005 09:28

I did give my reasons, a long long time ago...

Caligula · 30/07/2005 10:12

What were they again?

Wasn't it because you felt bf was a "baby" activity? Which as those on the pro side have pointed out is purely arbitrary - our culture has decided it's only for babies (at the moment - it may change its mind in the future).

Your other major objection was to the invasion of personal space and tbh I agree with you on that one for myself - I would feel it to be an invasion of my space, but mothers who are happy to be doing it, obviously don't feel that, so why on earth should I (or you) feel negative about it on their behalf?

(And frankly, I find the space invasions of other adults which motherhood seems to license, far more onerous than those of my children! Their space invasions are the least of my worries, compared with all the other intrusions being a mother forces me to put up with - from the first total stranger putting their hand uninvited on my bump and demanding to know details of my diet, to old ladies demanding to know why my toddler isn't / is in her buggy!/ isn't / is wearing a hat etc. etc.)

suzywong · 30/07/2005 10:14

Good point WWB, Bonobo chimps are, quite frankly, debauched

bobbybob · 30/07/2005 10:24

There was a thread with a link to anthropological "evidence" that bfing until between 4-7 was a natural thing for humans to do. The scientists looked at length of gestation, tripling or doubling of birth weight and lots of other things in different species. I just can't remember which thread. I did save it as a favourite to wind my mother up, but I have a new computer.

bobbybob · 30/07/2005 10:26

Found it!

a time to wean

tiktok · 30/07/2005 10:28

This is Kathy Dettwyler's stuff (about other mammals) and it's somewhere on the web

tiktok · 30/07/2005 10:28

x-posted, bobbybob

Caligula · 30/07/2005 10:38

pmsl at "kept it to wind my mother up"!!!!

Roxswood · 30/07/2005 20:18

I just wanted to add to peoples comments about feeding being unnecessary after 12 months.

Ok yes, it may not be totally necessary, in the same way that it isn't totally necessary to feed your child anything other than chicken nuggets and chips every day (because many children survive off just this) but we know this isn't the healthiest thing for them and won't do them any good for the future.

All the recent research on breastfeeding in different cultures and in our own human past as well as with other closely related animals has shown that a normal length of breastfeeding (until the last 200 years when men started to interfere in the form of doctors, religious leaders and "child rearing experts" telling us what we should be doing) was 2.5 to 7 years with the child usually feeding until ready to stop themselves or the mother became pregnant with another baby.

I really do believe people's yuk response all come from culturally accepted beliefs. Most of us grew up without ever seeing a baby breastfeeding, let alone a toddler and so it isn't easy to see something as normal if you've never seen it before. Being surrounded by a "bottlefeeding culture" where baby dolls come with bottles, all babies on tv are always bottlefed and its very rare to see someone breastfeeding openly in public all combine to give people the SUBCONSCIOUS idea that it isn't a normal thing to do.

This is really sad, and its really hard to live in this environment and still care for your children the way your instincts (and all recent information) tell you is the best for your children. My Mum thinks its disgusting that I'm still breastfeeding my little girl and she's only 13 months. This isn't going to stop me feeding her, it isn't even going to stop me feeding her in front of my Mum, after all my priority is making my daughter happy not my mother: however it does make me feel bad inside.
I am putting a huge amount of effort into doing the VERY best for my darling girl, and to be looked down upon for that is unfair.

I don't mind if you don't want to do it yourself, I enjoy it but it can be very tying and hard work sometimes frankly. I don't mind if you find it yucky really, as long as you never tell me or my little girl that. I just want people to acknowledge that I am doing my best for my baby, and this is what people find hard. If someone parents differently to us then it automatically has to be wrong.

I do suffer from this syndrome myself as I think every parent does, but I make a big effort now to try and see why other people make their choices and I make DAMN sure that I know all the information about their choices before I form an opinion as to whether their methods are good or bad. I personally wouldn't do many of them but if I can find no evidence that its harming their child then I can't have any problem with them doing it right?

(And health visitors and midwives opinions on whether extended breastfeeding is "necessary" are worth next to nothing, they're not experts on feeding, most of them have done less training in breastfeeding than I have and I'm just a peer supporter)

This was going to be just my two cents but I'm sure if I was going to put a monetary value on this now I couldn't afford to post it so I'll stop there..

Lots of love,
Clare and Georgia milk-monster

WigWamBam · 30/07/2005 20:21

Nice post, Roxswood. I agree wholeheartedly.

hunkermunker · 30/07/2005 20:22

Me too, Roxswood!

ks · 30/07/2005 20:40

This reply has been deleted

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Fio2 · 30/07/2005 20:42

i still breastfeed my husband, i dont see the problem

Roxswood · 30/07/2005 20:52

Giggling at your post Fio..

Just had another thing to add to the "not necessary" thread..

Cows milk is not necessary to anyone but baby cows, but how many people give it to their babies and drink it themselves?

Only babies who are not lucky enough to still be breastfed need to drink another mammals milk.

Fio2 · 30/07/2005 20:54

it is necvessary, he insists

i have these breats that dont bloody stop producing

Fio2 · 30/07/2005 20:55

breasts obviously but in all honesty am i the only one?

Roxswood · 30/07/2005 20:57

I'm really not sure whether to take you seriously right now Fio so I'm hedging my bets by not replying in case I offend someone.. At least until someone else replies..

Pixiefish · 30/07/2005 21:00

Roxswood- lovely post. I so agree with you xx

Roxswood · 30/07/2005 21:03

Thanks everyone.. nice to be appreciated when you've put a lot of effort into something!

spidermama · 30/07/2005 21:14

Great post Roxwood.
Well done contiuning to feed in front of your mum though she disapproves. My mum's very supportive and I think I'd be rather hurt if she disapproved of something so obvoiusly good.

pookstermum · 30/07/2005 21:24

Been reading some of the thread. Im still feeding 18mth dd, although now getting huge amount of pressure to give up from my family, most of who were supportive when I began to BF thinks . It helps to see so many still feeding and proud. Makes me feel maybe I can stand up to them and continue to do what feels right for dd. Thanks

Fio2 · 30/07/2005 21:25

honestly as regards to anything that is 'safe' (ie not abusive!) within parenting , it is up to us as parents to do what we feel is right. Sod what anyone else feels and thinks, it is our kids and how want to bring them up and to be. That is what I feel anyway and I try not ever to doubt myself

hunkermunker · 30/07/2005 21:25

Glad to hear it, pookstermum! This thread has had several positive outcomes for people so far Hooray!

bobbybob · 30/07/2005 21:25

My mother disapproves - but then we have this system about most things were she tells me not to and I ignore her.

soapyprincess · 30/07/2005 21:31

have just briefly read some of this thread and wanted to add that my health visitor is a bfc for nct and I am training to be a bfc so I realise that mpthers should breastfeed for as long as they and their babies are comfortable and happy doing so. I fed my DS for nearly 8 months and my DD1 for 14 1/2 months, this time who knows when I will stop maybe 2 years maybe not but it is no one elses business except me and my baby

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