Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

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Have you read the World Health Organisation link I posted further down the thread? I'll post again if you don't fancy wading looking for it!

It's a bit late to be asking for the number for Boden, all the nasty stuff was days ago.

I do wonder whether some of the people who have commented on this thread actually have children. Not that it makes their opinion any less valid, but if someone had told me before I had my dd how long I would be feeding for, I would have thought they were off your rocker. For me, it wasn't a conscious decision to feed for so long, more a case of simply continuing with the things that we were doing, and before I knew it, dd was 2 and we were still there.

Interesting point, WWB. I knew some women who'd fed their babies for up to four years, so it didn't seem to be a hugely peculiar thing to me.

Before I had my dd, I didn't know anyone who had even breastfed, apart from my mother, let alone breastfed for a long period of time. I knew from reading that I'd done that breastfeeding was recommended for at least 12 months from an allergy point of view, and I aimed to breastfeed for at least the 12 months, but even then it simply hadn't crossed my mind to think any further than that. And then once I got to the 12 months, it simply didn't cross my mind to stop until we were both ready.

I just wondered how many of the newish posters on the thread were in the same position - no children yet, and making their judgments based on what they see around them.

Or with younger babies - feeding a toddler is so much different than feeding a newborn!

Hmm...grammar not my strong point in that last post!

Yes, absolutely.

(not referring to the the grammar, by the way - the post )

i asked my 4 year old if he wanted some boobie milk and he laughed and said "No. It is for babies and I'm a big boy"

He said that it was was fine for ds2 (nearly 16 moths old)as he is still a baby.

But we're not talking about giving the breast to a four year old who hasn't been breastfed since he was 18 months (or whatever) old. Of course he won't think breastmilk is for him - it hasn't been for a long while. We're talking about something that has been continuous, and is therefore not strange to the child who is feeding.

I feel that I should point out that the question posed by shinypeople was:

"just out of interest, at what age would most of you think "yuk" to a mum breastfeeding?"

Note the word think. From looking at some of the comments made here, it seems that some people don't feel that other people have the right to have (dissenting) thoughts at all.

So yes, I do think breastfeeding a four year old is an odd thing to do. Notwithstanding any WHO evidence with health benefits all round (which I am happy to acknowledge).

I am not saying that it's morally wrong, or that my opinion has any special validity, but it is none the less my opinion.

Whether or not you have children, toddler, older child or baby, and whether or not you have breastfed or for how long you still have a right to think.

Of course that does mean I would be making a judgement on any woman I might happen to see breastfeeding their four year old. To be quite honest I haven't seen that happen for many years, and who knows what I might actually feel if I did.

We all make judgements all the time, and that's part of being human. I don't think that anyone else can stop that really. Now it's quite reasonable to complain if someone makes their feelings of "yukness" obvious, but otherwise why should it really matter? Each to their own, that is both their own choice of behaviour, and their own choice of feelings.

I can not believe this thread is still going!!!

Oh I really had to add a message here just to show that not all nannies are complete nutters like the ones here seem to be.

Hi, I'm Clare, Mum to Georgia (13 months) and I worked as a nanny for 8 years before I had my daughter.

I intend to feed my daughter until she chooses to wean herself and have no problem with anyone breastfeeding to any age. I have loved breastfeeding her and still love it, and I know it makes her as happy and healthy as she can possibly be and how ANYONE can equate that with abuse is absolutely unbelieveable! And in my mind really really sad that they have such an obviously distorted view of their own and others sexuality.

I completely understand a mother not wanting to feed her child this long, and I don't think you need feel bad for that but those mothers who are willing and able to give their children this tremendous gift should be praised, not vilified for something you just don't understand. Until you've fed a toddler you can't possibly understand what a close pleasant experience it can be for both Mum and child.
Sorry to drag this topic out even longer but I just discovered it and felt I had to defend nannies in general from this weird subset on here.

Lots of Love,
Clare and Georgia

Good for you Roxwood. PMSL that this thread is still going. And now I'd like to up the ante a bit, so late on in the thread!

Let's take the "yuk" factor being opinion and therefore valid, shall we?

Many years ago, I remember being on a bus with my aunt and cousin, who has Downs Syndrome. It wasn't obvious that I was with them, because they were sitting in a seat at the front of the bus and I was at the back (it was crowded). Two women near me started to talk about how sad it was that that little girl was a "mongol" and how glad they were she wasn't sitting next to them. I never mentioned it to my aunt, as I didn't think she needed to be upset by their revulsion of her loved daughter. And they seemed pretty nice women to my 9 year old self - I'm sure if my aunt and cousin had sat next to them, they wouldn't have been unpleasant or made my aunt feel uncomfortable in any way. But they would have had the "yuk" response anyway.

Does anyone here think those women's "yuk" response was valid? The point I'm making is that some responses are simply not valid, sod all this "everyone's opinion counts equally" bollocks. And that if you have a "yuk" response to the sight of a child feeding, then maybe you need to examine your own feelings and prejudices about this issue to overcome the "yuk" response, because frankly, it is not a valid one. Any more than finding the sight of a six month old baby breast feeding is. And there are still a large number of people in this culture, who find the sight of a small baby being bf disgusting. Is their "yuk" response any more valid than a yuk response to an older child being bf? And if not, why not?

Just my opinion, of course. I know it's my problem. And it is a slow friday...

i think you summed it up Caligula. And hope there are more nannies like you Roxwood!

I definitely know two more nannies like me, (my close friends) but one lives in South Africa and another in Ireland now.

I completely agree with you Caligula, having a yuk response to a downs syndrome child, or to the sight of someone breastfeeding any age child, or to a person of another culture, or to a person in a wheelchair or anyone who is or does something different to yourself (without harming others in any way) is just plain intolerance and in my mind is not a justifiable state of mind.

We don't tolerate racism or sexism anymore why do we tolerate "feeding-ism"? :-) Ok so its a made up word but it illustrates my point. I don't wander around muttering under my breath that anyone bottle feeding their baby must be a dreadful parent, so what gives anyone the right to mutter that its disgusting to see me feeding my child the best possible way in the world?

Roxswood, lovely posts!

Caligula...very interesting way to look at it, and totally right, IMO. Is it right that I think yuk to people who have problems with breastfeeding toddlers though?

So guys, are you basically saying that people should just not think personal thoughts or make any judgements about anything at all? Because that's the route you are going down.

I do agree with you that the comments about your cousin having Downs Syndrome were completely reprehensible. I could point out that they were expressed as opposed to being thought internally, but yes I would still agree that they are unacceptable, as are many other views against many moral viewpoints.

But we all draw the line somewhere, and most of us spend a lot of time judging each other (and ourselves). I don't think that places like mumsnet would survive otherwise, and indeed would any debate be possible?

I have many friends who bring up their children in different ways than I do, and on some things I do make judgements based on my personal experince and views. Sometimes we might discuss those issues, but mostly not.

I think that many people would think an internet forum is a good place to think through their personal feelings/predudices/opinions.

However, with the (notable) exeption of one poster I don't see (perhaps I am forgetting things - it's been a very long thread) that anyone has said anything unpleasant about those who chose to breastfeed a four year old. I do see some pretty disparaging comments made about those who say that personally they don't like it (for example being accused of having sexual hang ups).

Looking back I am not quite sure when this thread got be be so bad tempered.

It probably got bad tempered round about the time someone said that extended breast feeding equalled abuse. Up until then it was the extended breastfeeders who had been a lot more tolerant than those who were calling it "repugnant".

Nooka, the second post is where it kicked off, IMO... Repugnant? Remember?

And the poster who was accused of having hang-ups was the poster who called extended breastfeeders abusers, and in my opinion, the criticism her opinions got was completely and totally deserved.

How about these, Nooka? They're just for instances - there are lots of posters who say it's not necessary, not beneficial, gross, etc, etc. Heaps of criticism for feeding toddlers on this thread, IMO.

By Louise1970 on Friday, 22 July, 2005 11:17:13 PM

nursery jo. I too have heard this. There was a programe on the Vanessa show on the radio 94.9. About a month ago. There is definetaly no nutritional benefit and yes clingy and slower on socail skills. Not all but most..

By NurseyJo on Friday, 22 July, 2005 11:12:35 PM

In my experience breastfeeding is the best thing for a baby, but once they get to the age of 12 months I have been told by the midwives and health visitors that I work with that it is of little nutritional benefit.

I find that children who are breastfed beyond 2 years of age can be more clingy/mummyish and slower to develop social skills and independence/self help skills too.

and yes hunkermunker, of course you can think "yuk" about people who don't share your point of view, but there is a difference in saying that in the abstact, and dismissing an individuals' view without in any way acknowledging there might be some valid reasons for it.

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