Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

its funny the most tolerant and fair minded people on here are the ones doing the actual 'extended' breastfeeding. That says something...

nannyjo, now I'm really confused. If you honestly think breastfeeding past the age of four is abuse, then surely you should be telling people not to do it, and even reporting families for this.

Or do you just mean it's gross (to you)?

Ok ... so if one of your families was abusing one of their kids, in the sense WWB uses this term, would you say anything then?

(WWB and everyone else, I should have said there)

I wouldn't say I'm offended either, although I am annoyed. I do think this sort of view is probably somewhat common, at least among people who have never breastfed, or known anyone well who had breastfed, and who haven't thought about all this that much.

Surely you should report abuse to SS Nannyjo?

And it's not good enough to talk shite and then say IMO.

How about "carrots don't contain any Vitamin A at all IMO and I'm entitled to say so". Sounds like a crock of shite, doesn't it?

Yes ks I agree it's interesting. I think, and sorry if I'm going over old ground, the British 'page three' culture doesn't help. Personally I don't subscribe to the notion that breasts exist primarily to excite men, but I know many women genuinely feel that.

Nannyjo...you have stated often enough that you feel its abuse...can you clarify why you feel that way? What reasons?

Other posters have said why they agree/disagree in an attempt to enlighten others why they have that particular opinion.

i'm sorry you had to go through what you did but please don't forget that there are varying levels of abuse, What WWB had was obviously servere abuse i am talking about minor degrees of abuse in the form of humiliation and confusion on the childs part at the age of 4+.

I remember when i was young to see my parents in the nod was embarrasing and so i would not want to subject my boy to that incase he felt the way in which i did.

To be calling me names and attacking me the way in which you all are has been very hurtful to me but i will still stand to my views on the basis of how i feel and believe my son could feel.

Each to their own, i have never said any different to that but if i felt i could never express my opinions on here then that would make me a dull person in RL.

Just so you know i am a good nanny and a good person to who has never hurt or intended to hurt anyone in my life, i shall take it by this threads that my opinions on here are not welcome but i won't let it change me in RL and i have many times been told my honesty is one of my best qualities.

I see your point, nannyjo. Those of us who plan to strap down 4-year-olds and shove our boobs in their mouths will stop.

Seriously, if a child is confused and humiliated by breastfeeding (!!), they won't do it. Duh.

Has it occurred to you to ask why you felt embarrassed by your parent's nakedness? I still do naked in front of my DS, 6, and he doesn't even notice.

Oops, maybe you want to call SS now. Maybe the sight of Mummy's naked body is abuse.

Nannyjo, I still maintain that all abuse, even the most minor, is about power rather than love or caring, and in my opinion that tends to rule out something like breastfeeding being equated with abuse. Abuse is non-consensual; breastfeeding by its very nature is consensual, you cannot force a baby or a child of any age to breastfeed.

I think that you are in a sense sexualising breastfeeding in an older child, which is a shame as 4 year olds are not sexual beings - despite the attempts made by abusers to class them as such. My dd is 4 and knows that breasts make milk - she has no idea that they are for anything else, and I would suggest that she is typical of her age.

nj - humilation & confusion?

if you've read spidermama's post about her ds bf age 3, i think you'll find something v. different from humiliiation & confusion. she described a v. powerful moment imo, in which her ds appears both v. happy & privileged.

like i said earlier, that's the reality of this question - which has really resonated with me & which i won't forget quickly (thanks sm ).

agree with WWB. And NannyJo - I think you have some hang ups about nakedness and sex that need sorting. Sorry but i do. There is nothing dirty or embarrassing about nakedness per se - only if it is about power, as WWB says.

yup agree with ruty too.

hang ups abt sex/nakedness, now that really IS unhealthy imo.

Can't believe I've managed to keep reading this thread it's so long! I posted on here a few\days ago. Was feeling v. depressed about ds2's autism etc etc sorry about reacting as I did. I have to say, I've become much more informed about breastfeeding as a result of this thread. I honestly didn't know you could carry on bfeeding whilst pregnant with subsequent babes - my health visitor and mw told me to stop and I believed them. Bitterley regret that now.
By the way I am part time teacher and some of you nannies should be ashamed. Being a so called professional does not automatically make you 'right'

All I want is for NurseyJo to tell me she was wrong, that the DH have never stated that breastmilk has 'little nutritional value' after a year, and I will be sooooooooo happy

The rest of what she said (clinginess) was merely opinion (ill-founded, even so) and not attributed to any official source.

Don't think she will admit that as that's the one point she's managed to avoid throughout whole discussion!

NannyJo, it's fine for you to have an opinion, but please realise that yours is severely coloured by your own hang-ups about nudity and sex.

NurseyJo, I think you've been far more professional today

omg...this thread is still going strong!!! I cant read it all so I think I will retire from it!!!
I just want to say it has been interesting and obviously we wont all agree, but I think deep down most of us wouldnt bf past 4 and maybe even past 2 or we would see it all around us and we dont. That doesnt make it wrong. its right for those who want to whether it is beneficial or not is irrelevent...IMO!!!!!

One of the reasons we don't see it more in this country is not because it's not a good thing to do, it's because of harmfully ignorant and inflammatory opinions like NannyJo's

God is this thread still creaking on? Yawn.