Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

if nanny jo is offended by this i`would just say that i would far rather be called a baboon than a child abuser.

Crikey - child abuse - OMG I am a child abuser!!!

Try telling that to a starving African child where breastfeeding till school age is common.

There is no LAW stating that you should not breastfeed a 4 year old therefore it cannot be child abuse. Abusing a child is breaking a law.

I can understand people not liking it but saying that it is abuse is just plain weird.

I can't be bothered to change my name for this, although I did think about it. I was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 4. To equate an act of love and nurturing by a mother feeding her child in the way she choses with what that b*stard did to me is sick, and I'm sorry, but I think it takes a very sad and twisted individual to think that the two should ever be seen in the same light.

There is no way on earth that what that monster did to me, and what people like him do to other children, could ever be likened to breastfeeding.

WWB - thankyou for being so brave and illustrating such a crucial point of difference. Much Admiration for you.

Didn't read the rest of the thread after Nannyjo's "breastfeeding at 4 is child abuse" idiocy, but imo anyone who thinks that, is simply not fit to be in charge of anyone's child.

WWB

Thank you for highlighting yet further the lunacy of the view that breastfeeding a child is abuse. There is a stark contrast between harm and nurture and, sadly, you know that better than anyone

Great post, Tiktok. Lisa, of course a nanny or maternity nurse who is good at their job will keep being employed. But it does not mean that they know their stuff with regard to breastfeeding past the first year, that much is very clear.

It makes me angry when people with no experience of what they're talking about make posts like that.

Feeding a child is always done out of love - it doesn't matter how you feed, you do it out of love for the child. Breastfeeding an older child is consensual on both sides - if either the mother or the child want to stop, then usually the feeding stops. It's not possible to force a child into breastfeeding against their will, if the child wants to stop then he or she stops. Breastfeeding is an equal partnership; both parties have rights.

Abuse works on a completely different level. My grandfather told me that he did what he did because he loved me - but it has nothing to do with love, it's about power. Any form of abuse, in any relationship, is not about love; it is about exerting power over someone. Abuse isn't consensual - the only person who has the power to stop abuse is the abuser. Abuse against a child is never consensual, the child does not have the power to stop any of the things that are happening to him or her. An abusive relationship is an unequal relationship; the abuser allows the abused no rights at all.

If breastfeeding = abuse, why is it that abusers move heaven and earth not to be found out? Why do they blackmail the people they abuse into not speaking out about the abuse? Breastfeeding isn't something that people cover up, it isn't something that makes the child ashamed and dirty - it is an act of love in an equal partnership.

Sorry, I know I probably shouldn't post this, but if people can't see the differences between feeding and abuse then they need their eyes opened, and they need to be made to see. I really do think that it takes a sick mind to equate the one with the other, and if that offends Nannyjo then I quite frankly don't care.

I support breastfeedding whole-heartedly.
I breastfed my son.
I think it is the most natural thing in the world - if you WANT to do it, or are ABLE to do it - because not everyone is.
If you want to breastfeed your child up to age 4 or 5, carry on.
But I don't quite understand why someone would want to.
A 4 year old old is not a baby. They are barely a toddler. They have their own personality. They are a little person.
Capable of eating their own dinner with their own cutlery.
So why breastfeed ?
Rachel

Each to their own, but I must admit (don't shoot me!) that I would be horrified if i saw someone breastfeeding their 4 yr old after she had fallen over! Makes me shudder.

I look at my 4 yr old and I see how aware he is becoming about his own body....and that of mine and DH's. I can't put my finger on it, but it really makes me feel uneasy.

BTW I watched my Mum bf my 2 brothers until they were nearly 2 and didn't find that strange in the slightest.

WWB, I agree. I'm sickened to hear somebody likening breastfeeding to abuse.

Message withdrawn

Hello I am new I am a nanny and a mum and I am an extended breast feeder, I read about this on nanny job and had to see what was going on.

My views it up to you how you feed and care for your baby I may breast feed until she is seven I may only feed for the next seven weeks I dont have a crystal ball.

Breast feeding is healthy is recommened for 2 years by WHO (and I have been on the web site and checked) and it gives your baby over a year a lot of vitamins and minerals often at the expense of the mothers own body (I can find this and post it if you want.)

Respecting that everyone is different is vital and we are all unique in how we care for our little ones.

isnt loving them more important than how we feed them.

rustylea the link to WHO has already been posted, but nursey jo decided to ignore it and slag us all off somewhere else.

and as HM pointed out WHO recommends until at least 2.

Hi, rusty.

I am interested in this:

"it gives your baby over a year a lot of vitamins and minerals often at the expense of the mothers own body"

Often at the expense of the mother's own body?

I don't think so.

I can post references that would show this is not the case. I should say I am assuming you are talking about women who are not literally starving.

There is some evidence that women in the developing world who are already low on iron before they become pg, and who then bf for extended times, may find their iron status is affected...but this has to be set against the fact that bf (done often enough) delays the return of menstruation, and can therefore preserve iron levels (women lose iron with menstruation). You cannot generalise, except to say for most women, in most parts of the world, extended bf does not have a negative effect on their health, and for some it could have a positive effect (I could mention the protective effect on breast cancer here). You will certainly find it hard to say, with any evidence, that extended bf is 'often' at the expense of the mother's own body. Unless you can point me in the direction of some research that shows differently.

In any case, none of this applies to normally-nourished women in the UK.

Apsolutely Rustlea, couldn't agree more.
Loving your child is the most important thing.
Everything else about how you raise them, falls into place.
But loving your child, doesn't necessarily mean you have good parenting skills.

When I see David Beckhmas son - and I don't know how old he is, but atleast 6, drinking out of a plastic bottle with a teet, I think, how sad. Most 2 year olds can drink out of a cup like an adult.

When I see 'The house of Tiny Terrors' - it repeatedly shows parents who will not let their child develop. They want them to remain as a
baby.

Breastfeediing up to age 2 or so, should be encouraged. After that children can drink water, and full fat milk.
Eating a varied diet.
Developing into their own person.

We live in the UK.
Not in Africa where you have to breastfeed because the water is dirty.

I say again - why would a child of above 3 years old, need to breastfeed, when they can eat and drink like a little person ?

Oh FGS Rachel Downing you are judgementatal and self-righteous and you are wallowing in your ignorance about bf.

I've never heard such silly, uninformed views about parenting, as from non-parents.

And if you want to know why a child of 3 may want to bf, read the thread again.

Maybe, RachelDowning, a 3+yr old breastfeeds because he/she enjoys it. Is that so shocking? My dh had his 60th birthday recently. We don't intend to add to our four children but we still make love. Why? Because we darn well enjoy it! We wouldn't do it otherwise and I suggest a mother/child bfing partnership works on the same lines. Tbh, after reading some of the remarks on this thread, I've come to the conclusion that people who are anti 'extended' bfing have some sort of hang-up about sex but are not prepared to admit it. Just my opinion, of course.

sorry racheldowning but i find your views about african women being forced to breastfeed because the water is dirty highly patronising and ignorant. Maybe they do it because it is best for baby? As lisalisa said it is also part of the traditional jewish culture to breastfeed until three. And other cultures too.

Oh, and re the Beckham's 6yo, I see lots of adults with bottles with 'teets'. I do believe they're called sports drinks.

Caligula, that's a bit stong.
I loved breastfeeding my son.
I then made my own personal choice to stop, as he was eating well.
I wanted him to develop normally and eat and drink as a child his age should.
Aged 1 1/2, He still drinks only water, out of a tommee tippee training beaker.
When the time is right, and he wants to, I will encourage him to drink out of a cup , without a lid.
What is so uninformed about my views.

I am sure that alot of children would continue have "bitty" for as long as possible. I know why a child would WANT to bf, but why should they NEED to ?

this thread is now going round in circles. RD, if you want to know why a child should breastfeed until three, please read the thread.

RD, look at the WHO web page again and find out why some children would need to.

Plus, your choices for your children are valid for you. Other women's choices for their children are valid for them. You chose curtailed bf. So did I. Other women choose extended bf. Neither group has the right to look at each other in disapproval and imagine that their children are somehow better brought up, better adjusted human beings, because they used a bloody cup, or potty, or bed, or whatever, 6 months or 2 years earlier than another. Sorry, but it's ludicrous.