Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

Oh, with DS1 I figured I'd go past two, because the only friend I knew with a baby did that. I weaned at 18 months for a stupid reason (I had heard that if you don't wean before 2, you end up tandem nursing the next one. I didn't sit down and think: "what's wrong with that?"). With DS2 I plan to make it to two, at least.

But if you're having a hard time, it's best to take it one day at a time. When breastfeeding works, it's so much easier than formula, I think. No sterilising, you take nothing out of the house with you, except for a baby.

Hunkermunker don't give up . I think it's really useful having people who are keen on bf who've also experienced the absolute agony that some of us get in the early days with it.

fwiw mumsnet has made me far more militant about the importance of extended bf. preferably for other people, rather than for me, i have to admit

Don't think anybody has said breastfeeding is for personal amusement after 8 weeks NQC. And yes, quite agree, if I had breastfed for the first 8 weeks I would have carried on.

thanks nqc...I think you understand me!!!!
At last someone who does!

No, but TicTac did say:

"The breast is perhaps an emotion crux for the mother...not a desperante need for the child." I think she was talking about the time after 8 weeks.

And yes, it is so much easier than formula - but only if you can do it, and can put yourself through the mire to achieve it in some cases. Its one of the reasons I encouraged my fellow long term hospital compadre to stick with it as I packed my bags, bottles et al.

I may tandem nurse - I'm 15 weeks pg tomorrow - but I'm not averse to it. I won't keep DS feeding if he doesn't want to (would be impossible!) - but I don't want him to stop before he's ready. He still totally loves the feeds he does have and I am more than happy to provide them. It's not as if bmilk is bad for children, after all!

Mandy, I do understand what you're saying, I really do, but I just wanted to put the other side of it and say that a lot of women who breastfeed aren't "lucky", they're bloody-minded stubborn old bastards

Oh, I hadn't seen that quote NQC.

As for taking only the baby out with you when bfeeding - frankly, I'd not have had room for bottles (DS a very sicky baby who pooed for Britain too) so with the clothing changes and nappies and muslins I needed...I'd have needed to employ a packhorse to carry the bags if I'd needed to take out several bottles and formula as well each day!

I would have never have called you old HM A quick question, I don't know if you have more than one child already, so excuse ignorance and all, and to anyone who knows, is it easier to feed a newborn if your milk is still in for the previous child?

I don't bother with anything. Oh, I was often covered in puke when DS1 was smaller and more pukey, but I'd need superpowers to avoid the puke.

And DS2 doesn't poo very often at all, once a day at most, so I rarely bother with a changing kit.

And since he eats only table scraps (at nearly 10 months), I don't carry food, either.

(He had a lovely lunch today, pesto + chicken panini, and then a fruit smoothie, that he drank partly with a straw.)

a straw! clever boy!

serah, from what I know it is. The milk changes for the newborn, rather than staying right for the older baby.

I also gather that, the more babies you feed, the better supply you have. Mine has certainly gone from somewhat-sparse-seeming to quite adequate. (Granted, DS2 had a much much better start than DS1, which probably helps.)

Oh, hercules, I have a bone to pick: the milk isn't the same at 6 months as it is at 8 weeks. The milk changes constantly to suit the baby's growing needs, and to provide antibodies to whatever viruses and bacteria are in the baby's environment. Every time a bf mother kisses her baby, she picks up the bacteria and viruses that might attack him, so she can make antibodies for them. BF is such an incredible thing. (hercules, I know you already know all this, and I know what you meant ...)

Breastfeeding is a very personal choice, what works for one doesn't work for another.

'Emotional crux' how can giving a human baby nourishment with human milk after the age of 8 weeks be an emotional crux. Isn't it, if your able to breastfeed and you want to, its more out if giving your baby what you believe is best for them.

Serah Thank you!

I only have DS atm, am pg with second baby - but I have heard that if you tandem feed the older child might not think much of the colostrum, but they do help establish your supply for the newborn. Maybe I'll find out!

(And as for breastmilk being amazing, I agree! I did read that if a breastfed baby is ill, when they nurse, they transfer the germs whilst sucking, the mother manufactures antibodies, then they're there the next time they feed the baby! I do know that when our whole extended family had a vile and very contagious vomiting bug over the winter, DS was the only person I knew who didn't get it - some of the babies we knew who did were hospitalised with it, so I was scared he would)

I haven't posted on here before but for some reason got interested in this thread as people seem so heated about it. IMO you all need to get your priorities sorted. Just for the record I fed ds1 for a year and stopped when pg with ds2. I also then fed ds2 for a year and he seemed to stop of his own accord. In the 18mths that then followed our beautiful son was diagnosed with severe autism, dyspraxia and SLD. At age 4 he attends an autistic unit daily and still drinks from a bottle, has a dummy etc as he is extremely d.delayed and with little communication these things calm him. I have in the past been aware of 'looks' when he is in a pushchair with a dummy but he can't walk far due to low muscle tone in his legs and I would simply like to make the point that there are more important things to worry about than getting heated ova breast v. bottle!
Get a life and let live and let live. What is important is having a healthy child NOT how you feed it.

Elun, if I might quote back your own words 'live and let live'. The subject IS important to the people who are interested in it. If you're not, why bother posting on this thread. Find one more worthy of your attention.

Sorry if that sounds rude but people must be allowed to debate what they feel passionate about.

Well, yes, but for some people it is relatively easy to b-feed without any great effort (for example I had no problems at all, babies both latched on from within a few minutes after birth, no mastitis or cracked nipples). For others, however hard they try it doesn't work out (my sister ended up with her baby in the hospital and yes with better support it might have been different, but she did have La Leche). Some people persist despite all odds and it works out for them, others can't do it with one baby, and it's fine for the next. It's probably not luck, but I'm not sure it's always related to effort.

Thats ok HM you stubborn bloody minded bugger!

I did wonder - I was told that (well, one of the numerous problems which were suggested to me)I was having problems because he was a boy and he was lazy, wanting the milk instantly but he would have to wait 3 days (even then, not good...) so I wondered if instant milk on tap helped.

Here's an honest emotion for you... I feel sad that at 7 months, I can still express milk that I wanted him to have. This is not a need for an emotional crutch though! Not sure of the relevance of that quote. I feed my baby (insert breast/bottle) as I need an emotional crutch. Doesn't read right.

oops - sorry that related to hunkermunker's post which is now way down the page!

Elun, I understand why you posted as you did, but I'm afraid that people will still post about things which are important to them.

Perhaps not a great analogy, but I watched in horror the programme about the massacre at Beslan last night - but just because a large number of children were murdered there doesn't mean I won't post about breastfeeding or Big Brother - it's all about having a life and recognising that some things are extremely important, some are less so, some are lifestyle choices, some are life or death choices.

If everyone only ever talked about things that were extremely important life or death choices, perhaps we'd all be more worthy, but it would be very dull.

Don't need your advice on where to post spidermama. I have as much write to an opinion as yourself. And if I hadn't been interested in this thread then I wouldn't have read it.

I had never heard of extended bf until I was pg and I thought it was rather disgusting. I had no feelings about bf at all, thought I would give it a try but expected to do it for maybe 4-5 weeks. Now dd is 12 months and we are still at it. It's not so romantic anymore - she bites, squirms, beats on my breast when she wants fed. I know the time is right for weaning but I will miss it very much. Extended bf does not disgust me in any way now and I am sorry that I ever thought that.

There is definitely social pressure to stop bf by about 1 year although the women I know who enjoyed bf seem to stop at about 15 months.

elun.. this debate is not about breast versus bottle (if it were, it'd be far more heated than this!)

You sound like you have had a lot to deal with, and it does put all issues such as this in perspective, but people do love a debate, and occaisionally a good scrap in the playground too!

tomkitty that's a heartening tale! As I've said on this thread I've fed my 3 into toddlerhood and beyond and intend to do the same with my six month old. Maybe I'm particularly thick skinned, or perhaps it's the circles I move it, but I don't remember any pressure to stop or adverse reactions to breastfeeding 2/3 year old kids in public from anyone.

I think the best thing to do is feed your child and don't look at anyone else.