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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

1386 replies

lisalisa · 20/07/2005 14:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
shalaa · 22/07/2005 20:07

Thanks for the link detailing the benefits of breast feeding baby for longer than 6 months. Most of my family has done extended bf from my grandmother to hopefully me. Intend to bf for at least a year, ds is nearly 6 months.

I admit I would stare if someone started bf a toddler in public, but that's more to do with how they are managing it then the fact they are bf! Find it hard to get DS comfortable now, let alone when he's a toddler.

Anyway each to there own, as long as baby is happy and well loved surely that's the most important thing??

beemokha · 22/07/2005 20:08

Any HP, HV, GP, etc. telling a mother that they should only BF for 8 weeks should be reported to the local Primary Care Trust. It's probably not a sackable offense to misinform mothers, but I personally think it should be. I am a lawyer and if I gave someone sdvice that was this deterimental to a client, the Law Society would strike me off.

My GP told me to "give the baby a bottle at night" to help him sleep through the night when he was only a week old. How rubbish is that ?

mandyc66 · 22/07/2005 20:13

did anyone say they had been told to only feed for 8 weeks?
Maybe the gp was thinking you needed a break?!
I think do what is best for you and your baby. If you are not comfortable then it is not the right thing for either of you. Some people are unable to feed their babies. So the ones that choose to and can should thank their lucky stars and not tell anyone else they are wrong for not doing it!

ruty · 22/07/2005 20:14

i agree gps can give awful advice. My own gp, when i said at four months i was worried about my supply, 'oh you should give up and go on to formula.' But even on jars of baby food it says 'the Dept of Health recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months.' And it says so on packs of formula too. so i think its quite hard not to know that. sorry. And thanks hunkermunker

ruty · 22/07/2005 20:14

by the way i'm still not criticising anyone who chooses to breast feed less than that or not at all. Personal choice i agree.

hunkermunker · 22/07/2005 20:16

Mandy, nobody's saying anybody's wrong for not doing it, but when completely misleading information is posted (as it has been by someone who said that a baby only needs to bfeed for 8 weeks to gain full benefit from it), no wonder people get annoyed!

There are some who are physically unable to feed (not many - about 1% or maybe less?), some who don't want to do it and still more who get such appalling advice and support that it becomes impossible. It's not "luck" that women can breastfeed, and frankly I find it slightly offensive that someone thinks that the fact I breastfeed DS is because I was lucky - no, I was bloody stubborn, totally determined and absolutely confident in my body's ability to breastfeed, despite six weeks of toe-curling agony and dreading the next feed. So don't tell me I'm pigging lucky, OK?!

spidermama · 22/07/2005 20:19

Good post hunkermunker. I too had to persevere (especially with number 4 when I got thrush and cracked nipples), but I knew it would be worth it. It is.

I resent being thought of as smug.

hunkermunker · 22/07/2005 20:20

AND AND AND - the amount of support and encouragement I offer women in the same position, both on here and in RL...

Won't bloody bother any more if people just think I'm being a lucky smug fecker!

serah · 22/07/2005 20:23

I have to admit, I have heard the 8 week thing previously.... but I didn't take it that the benefits ended there and then. Perhaps Tictac got confused with this? It was put to me that by feeding a baby breastmilk for the first 8 weeks gave it "the really important stuff". Obviously, anything after that is beneficial - perhaps the important stuff as opposed to the really important stuff. I don't know. I bottlefeed after expressing the first 8 weeks for him. Nothing to do with fear of breastfeeding, extended or otherwise.

I also have to admit that I initially read TicTac as TikTok and my immediate reaction was "blimey, well thats a turn up for the books!" Sorry Tiktok, I should wear my glasses.

ruty · 22/07/2005 20:24

i had a terrible time struggling to breast feed fot the first few weeks, for reasons outlined in another old thread. i think few women find it easy.

Socci · 22/07/2005 20:25

Message withdrawn

hercules · 22/07/2005 20:27

the breastmilk is the same at 6 months as it is at 8 weeks....

mandyc66 · 22/07/2005 20:28

I still maintain you are lucky. Yes lots have to try hard and succeed some try hard and dont. I have 2 friends who tried hard and thought they were doing well and had babies rushed into hospital dehydrating because although they were latched on were not feeding. When a baby becomes weak and not feeding it stops crying for food.
Each and everyone of us who has a baby is 'pigging' lucky and if you can feed it too you are doubly lucky!!!!

mandyc66 · 22/07/2005 20:29

did I say smug?!!!!! Where?

ruty · 22/07/2005 20:35

but mandy thats why women need more support and guidance in breastfeeding. If those women had been properly shown hot to latch their babies on i think [i can't be sure] that their babies may not have got dehydrated. I got no help in hospital about how to breast feed my baby. I cried when i heard the woman in the next bed talking all the time about how she had so much milk and her baby was feeding all the time. It was only because one woman helped me a few days in that i started to get the hang of it. There is a real need for more support in breastfeeding. Its all very well for the Dof H to tell us we should do it for 6 months exclusively, but there just isn't enough professional support out there. If we all had someone like TikTok things would be a lot easier!

serah · 22/07/2005 20:38

I'm sure it is hercules. But it does make me curious as to what the 8 week thing is based on given that 2 people on this thread have heard it. I am starting to suspect motherhood is in some ways like a giant game of chinese whispers IYKWIM.

ScrewballMuppet · 22/07/2005 20:40

I was told that the 8 week thing is due to the baby being born with only basic immune system and that by the timew the baby is 8 weeks old theeir aquired immune system is up and beginning to function. Breastmilk can help protect the baby in the first 8 weeks due to the mothers antibodies and nutrtional content.
I breastfed to 16 weeks with both kids and it was a struggle at times but okay at others. I would of thought that breastmilk is better for baby after the 8 weeks as its made by humans for humans. Agree that its not always the best way its got to wirk for the mother and the family

serah · 22/07/2005 20:42

Now that makes sense as to where the 8 week thing comes from.

mandyc66 · 22/07/2005 20:48

I agree people need support! I also think we are lucky!!!
I did not put anyone of you down,but have been all but told to shut up!!!
I would never say anyone was wrong feeding their baby how they think fit.
But have often heard people put down breast feeding...saying how do you know what its getting etc!!! Do for your baby what you feel most comfortable with!!
Tell me what I have said SO wrong

ruty · 22/07/2005 20:50

oh mandy i wasn't having a go at you or telling you to shut up - so sorry if thats the impression you got. agree with you that we are all lucky to have children.

bobbybob · 22/07/2005 20:51

Tictac - you said you intend to feed for eight weeks - I assume that means you have a baby of less than that age.

I set myself goals with bfing in the early months and it helped - my first was six weeks then 12 then 6 months and then a year. After that I went with the flow and found myself giving approx 1 feed every other day to a 2.5 year old. I don't think any first time mum goes into bfing thinking 2.5 years.

But it's a gradual thing - he didn't suddenly become 2.5, nor could I imagine him at 2.5 when he was a tiny baby.

I still can't imagine how I am going to cope the first time he comes home drunk, but I know I'll be okay because he will gradually become a teenager, I won't suddenly have to deal with teenageness from nothing.

What's the point at getting really good at something (it took me about 8 weeks) in order to stop? I watched a few women get to grips with bfing and then spend a further 8 weeks struggling with bottles, by which time they were struggling with puree.

hunkermunker · 22/07/2005 20:54

Mandy, to tell someone they're lucky they're breastfeeding discredits any of the work (proper blood, sweat and tears in many cases) they've put into establishing that.

It's like telling someone they're "lucky" they got good exam results - when in fact they've studied hard and denied themselves a social life for the past year (incidentally I didn't do that, which is why I'm not as well qualified as I ought to be ).

hunkermunker · 22/07/2005 20:55

Bobbybob, if I'd been told I'd still be feeding DS at 15 months when he was a week old, I'd have collapsed in a heap and sobbed my heart out!

And if DS came home drunk tomorrow, I'd do the same! LOL!

mandyc66 · 22/07/2005 20:56

ok..no hard feelings!!
I just feel sometimes people are saying 'you should do this'
Just for the record I exclusivly breast fed all 5 of mine..the first 3 for 4 to 5 months as was reccommended back then and the last 2 for 6 months, still feed ds4 but only morning and evening because thats all he wants!!
Some people ask why I 'tie' myself down!!! my reply is its a second out of your life!!!
Love brast feeding and would like to see everyone doing it..but there are mothers and babies who just cant! Theones who can are blessed!!

NotQuiteCockney · 22/07/2005 20:56

You know, they're not about to say, breastmilk helps the most between month 13 and 15. And, realistically, if everyone breastfed for the first 8 weeks, probably lots of them would carry on.

But yeah, after the first 8 weeks you're just doing it for your own amusement?!?

About the whole "lucky" thing. I agree, anyone who has a baby they love is lucky. But breastfeeding is sometimes about luck, too - with DS1 I was not lucky, and had to work bloody hard. With DS2 I was very lucky, and have found it all a doddle, or nearly so.

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