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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breast vs. bottle (am I brave or insane?)

227 replies

emkana · 09/07/2005 21:49

article in Times today

What interests me, both in this article and in previous threads on the Mumsnet, is how there is a feeling that the "breastfeeding lobby" or "mafia" as I believe it has been called is regarded as so powerful and influential and as having such a large impact on new mothers everywhere to make their lives an utter misery. I just can't see it! I see formula etc. on sale everywhere, articles on how to bottlefeed in every baby magazine, which always always say that you shouldn't feel guilty for bottlefeeding, I see bottlefeeding on TV, I see bottlefeeding celebrities, bottlefeeding mothers at toddler groups...
Breastfeeding? I vaguely remember a poster on the maternity ward, but it wasn't particularly in your face. I might have been given a leaflet on breastfeeding by the midwife. That's it.

I just don't get it, I really don't.
I don't mean to upset anyone, by the way. I'm just genuinely interested in your experiences. Honestly.

OP posts:

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:24

After dd reached a certain age I havent bf in public with her but I see lots of people giving bottles in public with a baby the same age.
I dont know of course whether I'd get negative comments but I dont feel brave enough to.

tabitha · 09/07/2005 22:25

That should obviously say ds, not dw.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/07/2005 22:26

When I had DS1 (by elective section), he was put in SCBU. The same day as my section, while I was in the HDU, after my DH and midwife had left, they called down to get my permission to give him formula. I wasn't given the option to breastfeed at this point (or at any point until he was about 30 hours old, even though he was only on oxygen for an hour, after that he was just being observed in SCBU).

I insisted he wasn't given a bottle. I wanted to insist on no formula, but didn't have the strength. He was feed via a nose tube, and we fed him formula by cup until my milk came in.

I'm sure the early formula (and the 30-hour delay before feeding) was at least a partial cause of our extensive bf problems.

Nbg · 09/07/2005 22:28

When I was pg Breast feeding was really shoved in my face. Mainly from my Midwife.

Tbh I didn't take any persuading about how I was going to feed, I just decided that I would breast feed.

When I had dd it turned out Breast feeding wasn't going to happen and the response I got from the midwives was that I wan't going home until I had established feeding either breast or bottle. So I decided that since I wasn't getting much help and that I couldn't do it on my own, I would just bottle feed instead. I got quite a few disapproving looks from the midwives each time I ventured from my bed to the bottle cupboard but tbh I couldn't of cared less.
DD was taking every last drop of the milk and was very content.

I never experienced disapproving looks or comments from other mums, proffessionals etc and if I did it wouldn't have bothered me.
It has absolutly nothing to do with anyone else about the decision a mother makes on how she feeds her baby.

However I do agree with what you are saying Emkana although I had the opposite experience. I had the information shoved in my face when I had no baby and as soon as the baby was there, there was no support what so ever.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/07/2005 22:28

hercules, that does bug me too - I see three-year-olds with bottles in my neighbourhood, but I know that breastfeeding any child who can walk is an invitation to reenactments of Little Britain sketches.

(Even some of my middle-class arty sorts of friends seemed surprised I was still breastfeeding DS2 at 3 months!)

edam · 09/07/2005 22:28

Yes, there are legal restrictions on formula companies that force them to say 'breast is best' on their advertising.

Cristina7 · 09/07/2005 22:29

I meet up with some women who have 4 month old children like me. Some BF, others formula feed. I can honestly say no one discusses method of feeding more than in practical terms, i.e. not ideology. Same for method of delivery, this is now long forgotten. The more I meet people IRL the more I realise these internet "debates" are so silly and sterile, people IRL are far too busy to care about what other people do.

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:29

I was told to give ds a bottle in hospital as he was a big baby. I knew no better then so did. We had huge struggles with bf and it was after speaking to lll did I get the help I needed to successfully feed.
8 years later with dd, the same thing happened and I was accused of starving dd in hospital.
THe midwive was quite rude about it.
I was the only one in my ward who was bf. I had no problems with bf dd and I'm sure a big part was my confidence.

fsmail · 09/07/2005 22:32

My own experience with both my kids is that Bf was pushed and bottlefeeding scorned. It was very upsetting for me as I had every intention of exclusively bf my ds 1. I did not own a bottle but when he was born he suffered from a lack of temperature control due to my eclampsia. The first thing that happened was that a bottle was produced and given to DH to feed him and I was not allowed to bf for two days. By that time I found it very difficult. Eventually i managed but had to buy bottles on the way back from hospital and felt immensely guilty and therefore dropped them as soon as I could. I am sure this contributed to my being very depressed. Therefore, I do feel it is wrong to look down on somebody who is bottlefeeding as guilt can be a very harmful thing on the emotional wellbeing of the mother and child. Every mother should have access to information and I do believe most people know that Bf is best but some just cannot do it for whatever reason or have their own reasons for not and therefore I find it very irritating when those who have managed to succesfully bf from Day 1 talk down to others and I have seen it much more that way round even amongst friends. They should consider themselves very lucky.

Original poster

emkana · 09/07/2005 22:32

IME neither the midwives not the HV were particularly knowledgeable about breastfeeding, and they really didn't care whether I wanted to breast- or bottlefeed. In fact, when I was in hospital with dd1 the first night I was upset because she was crying and I didn't know what to do and I was sort of "advised" to give a bottle to quieten her down, but I resisted.

OP posts:

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:34

I felt like that too with dd. All the other babies were fast asleep apart from dd who virtually cried the whole of the second night.
I dont think I impressed the staff as of course a bottle would have meant a quiet night for all.

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:34

Tell you what I find interesting - particuarly since DS2 turned 1.

I was still BF ds1 at 14 months - no-one batted an eyelid when I fed him outside.

DS2 still has 3 bottles at day at 19 months (greedy pig LOL) and I have a friend who's DD is the same age.

Her DD is breastfed - and often we'll both feed our children at the same time at toddler group.

Now before I continue this story let me just say I honestly don't care about these comments - DS2 still wants his milk - he can have his milk (just wish he'd make up his mind LOL).

I still get comments - "oh he still has milk during the day" (me - ermm yes he rather likes the stuff - that's why he's flying off the charts )

She gets comments "aww that's lovely that you're still feeding her"...........(friends thoughts are something along the lines of "yes I'm trying to get her to cut down but she's not having it )

I don't know whether most of these mums that make these comments Bottlefed or Breaatfed (their kids are 3yrs+ old and I've only know them about 1-2yrs).

Anyhow - I can see the "breastfeeding mafia" are out in force tonight so I'm going to bugger off to a nicer thread.............as us bottelfeeders can't possibly have anything constructive to say

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:35

Jesus, just when I thought this thread was a civilised discussion....

Original poster

emkana · 09/07/2005 22:36

QueenofQuotes, nobody here said anything to or about anybody - until your last post. A shame.

OP posts:

Original poster

emkana · 09/07/2005 22:37

anything bad

OP posts:

tabitha · 09/07/2005 22:38

I can't see anything to take offence at from either 'side'

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:38

Sorry not quite with you

Original poster

emkana · 09/07/2005 22:39

Well, here's the quote for you, QueenofQuotes:

Anyhow - I can see the "breastfeeding mafia" are out in force tonight so I'm going to bugger off to a nicer thread.............as us bottelfeeders can't possibly have anything constructive to say

OP posts:

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:39

Anyhow - I can see the "breastfeeding mafia" are out in force tonight so I'm going to bugger off to a nicer thread.............as us bottelfeeders can't possibly have anything constructive to say

spidermama · 09/07/2005 22:40

I met a friend at the school BBQ who still occasionally gives her dd who is 6 years old, breastmilk.

Personally I think that's absolutely lovely but I'm certain very few people would agree with me. My friend rarely ever tells anyone now but why should she treat this as a guilty secret when, internationally, the average age a child stops bfing is 7.

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:41

yeah can you not see the at the end of that sentence???

I didn't name any names - just seems that at the moment it seems to be those that agree with the original post so I'm a bit out on a limb

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:41

It is 7, I thought it was 4?

berolina · 09/07/2005 22:41

fsmail, couldn't agree more: those who have no problems bf are LUCKY. i naively assumed bf would happen naturally and came down to earth with a huge bump post birth. i know how extremely lucky i have been that ds and i managed to sort bf out between us despite all problems and still live in fear of the next bf problem - of all our progress being taken away from us. this is why i am quite sensitive to the 'breast is best'message being pushed without (seeming) regard for those struggling.
(lack of caps is not rudeness - ds is on the breast! )

tabitha · 09/07/2005 22:41

You implied that this thread wasn't 'nice' QoQ

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:42

Lighten up!!!!

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