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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast vs. bottle (am I brave or insane?)

227 replies

emkana · 09/07/2005 21:49

article in Times today

What interests me, both in this article and in previous threads on the Mumsnet, is how there is a feeling that the "breastfeeding lobby" or "mafia" as I believe it has been called is regarded as so powerful and influential and as having such a large impact on new mothers everywhere to make their lives an utter misery. I just can't see it! I see formula etc. on sale everywhere, articles on how to bottlefeed in every baby magazine, which always always say that you shouldn't feel guilty for bottlefeeding, I see bottlefeeding on TV, I see bottlefeeding celebrities, bottlefeeding mothers at toddler groups...
Breastfeeding? I vaguely remember a poster on the maternity ward, but it wasn't particularly in your face. I might have been given a leaflet on breastfeeding by the midwife. That's it.

I just don't get it, I really don't.
I don't mean to upset anyone, by the way. I'm just genuinely interested in your experiences. Honestly.

OP posts:
Cristina7 · 09/07/2005 22:11

At our local hospital only 4 months ago all videos available were about breastfeeding, all contact numbers to BF counsellors. AFAIK there's no "Association of bottlefeeding mothers" and no "La bottle league". I think nowadays the pendulum has swung towards breastfeeding. Perhaps not enough but more than 5 years ago IME.

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:12

Ahhh. Teach me to read the first post properly.

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:13

"If there is so much pressure to bf in this country then why are bf so low??? "

Ever heard of such as things as too much pressure???

tabitha · 09/07/2005 22:13

Hercules, I totally agree that breastfeeding should be seen as the norm. Where I live (Falkirk) it is very much the opposite.
As for bottle-feeders having to justify their decision, it just doesn't happen here. Whereas once dd was past about two months old I was constantly made to feel 'wierd' for still breastfeeding her.

Original poster
emkana · 09/07/2005 22:13

hercules, it used to be called b/feeding nazis by some people on Mumsnet, which was truly upsetting and then was sort of "banned". b/feeding mafia is still used, including by myself in the opening post - but I agree, it shouldn't be, I was only quoting.

I agree with you that women in this country are let down by wrong information and lack of support. For example, wouldn't it be helpful if in this country we had a culture of truly looking after new mums in the first few weeks after the birth, so that they wouldn't have to do anything other than spend time with their baby, breastfeeding? And if the mum knew that it is normal and right for the baby to feed all the time in the early days?

OP posts:
hercules · 09/07/2005 22:13

Cristina - these people are volunteers. If you feel strongly about supporting bottlefeeding why dont you volunteer the same way these women did?

wordgirl · 09/07/2005 22:13

How much help do you actually need to bottle feed though? I thought the instructions were on the tin or am I missing something

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:14

wordgirl - hahahaha

is't breastfeeding supposed to be "natural" - why do people need so much 'help' if it's natural????

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:15

Well, lots of people say they've experienced pressure to bottlefeed. Dont forget the health service is competing with huge multinational companies who have no problem applying pressure!

Original poster
emkana · 09/07/2005 22:15

Don't think you are wordgirl

OP posts:
jessicaandbumpsmummy · 09/07/2005 22:15

Latest issue of Mother & Baby magazine has 5 full page adverts for formula milk in the first 35 pages. A 2 page spread on bottle feeding.

I personally dont care what others think about feeding a baby, i tried BF with Jess, had no support and it didnt work. Will try again with this one, but will have my tin of formula and steriliser at the ready.

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:16

It isnt natural in this country as we dont see other people doing it. In countries where it is it would be natural to see family members and others feeding. You dont get that here. My mum had bottlefed all her kids and could offer no help to me.

Original poster
emkana · 09/07/2005 22:17

Well, breastfeeding is natural, but in our society we have completely wrong expectations about it, for example it is expected that baby will slot into a three to four hour feeding schedule, which is totally not "natural". In other societies babies are carried constantly and can feed whenever they like, sometimes up to every 20 minutes - that's "natural".

OP posts:
mumfor1sttime · 09/07/2005 22:17

I must say that I never felt any pressure to breast feed from hv or media etc. I couldnt decide how to feed. I kept an open mind. After a difficult birth (emergency c section) I did feel that I kind of missed out on breast feeding. I dont remember the hospital asking how I was going to feed- although im sure they must have- and was offered no help with feeding-breast or bottle- my ds was fed by bottle in front of me by a nurse. My heart was aching, I wanted to feed my ds.I was too weak to do anything. If I had my time again I would have liked to try breast.

CarolinaMoon · 09/07/2005 22:17

QoQ, as you will know, you need to learn how and there are not that many people to learn from. 'natural' doesn't = 'instinctive'

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:18

That's what's so appalling and women should be protesting about. LAck of support for women wo want to bf.

QueenOfQuotes · 09/07/2005 22:18

"In countries where it is it would be natural to see family members and others feeding. You dont get that here."

You honestly think that makes a difference???? My sister in law didn't have a clue where to start - there's no 'support' in countries where it's 'natural' to see them BF - you're just supposed to "get on with it"!

berolina · 09/07/2005 22:18

Over here at least, all the articles in baby mags etc. basically say 'breast is best etc etc BUT if you can't or don't want to bf [usually in that order] then formula will fulfil your baby's nutritional needs' - no more and no less. Even all the promotional material from formula companies we've been sent say it! (I think they may have to by law, mind you). I think it's quite an optimal approach as it emphasis the 'breast is best' message but also takes guilt off mothers who bottlefeed for whatever reason.

As some of you know, I had a real struggle to bf ds and gave some formula (very reluctantly) at the beginning but am now happily fully bf. I felt absolutely wretched while having my troubles as I so wanted to fully bf and worried about loss of health benefits etc. That was a time during which I found all the 'breast is best' thing hard - and I was mixed feeding!

I think the 'breastfeeding police' thing might be a phenomenon of a certain section of society - (whispers) middle class?!?

Original poster
emkana · 09/07/2005 22:18

mumfor1sttime, stories like yours I find truly sad .

OP posts:
hercules · 09/07/2005 22:19

Well then, why is it in some countries breastfeeding rates are extremely high? are those women programmed differently to women in the UK? Something must be different.

Cristina7 · 09/07/2005 22:19

Hercules - i suggest you read my posts properly. I changed my DD from bottlefeeding to breastfeeding when she came out of SCBU. Now, that takes some determination, wouldn't you think? I had a lot of support from LLL. Frankly, I couldn't care less what a woman does with her own baby, whether she BF or formula feeds, personally I think good genes and lots of love are more important.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/07/2005 22:20

CarolinaMoon, it's probably a mix of the two. Often, I meet mums whose babies are 6 weeks old or whatever, and a lot of the conversation is about how breastfeeding is going. And much like people like to tell their birth stories, mums like to talk about what's happened since.

QoQ, I'm sure I've (unintentionally) said things about bottlefeeding within the earshot of bottlefeeders. I often say, I can't imagine bottlefeeding, it just looks like too much work. I don't think I've said anything worse in those sorts of contexts.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/07/2005 22:22

Cristina7, I don't think hercules meant any offense. I did think, on first reading your post, that you were suggesting that more support for bottlefeeders should exist.

hercules · 09/07/2005 22:22

Absolutlely! I know I couldnt have done that. DH's cousin had a csection and wanted to bf. Hospital had no time to help her and just gave her baby bottles instead. She only got to speak to a bfc 5 days after the birth and managed to start expressing. She mixed fed expressed milk with formula for a few weeks until totally formula feeding.
Having seen the amount of pain she was in, lack of sleep etc I am in no doubts I wouldnt have expressed.

tabitha · 09/07/2005 22:23

I really do think that seeing other people, eg family members breast-feeding would make a difference.
My only impression of breast-feeding before having children was on being at my grandparents house, aged about 10, and my aunt being 'banished' into the bedroom away from everyone else to breastfeed her baby. There is no way that would have happened if she had been bottle-feeding. It made me feel that breastfeeding was something 'not quite nice' that had to be 'hidden away'.
When I had my first dd, 18 years ago, I decided right from the start of my pregnancy that I was going to bottlefeed and I'm sure that my previous experience had a lot to do with it. It was only when dw was born, 8 years ago, that I felt confident enough to breastfeed.
I think that a lot of women probably feel the same and that's really sad.