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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

'Babies don't need night feeds at 6 months': do we believe this, MN jury?!

147 replies

ParanoidAtAllTimes · 10/12/2009 12:44

I'm EBFing ds (5 months) and planning to do BLW at 26 weeks. He wakes multiple times in the night for feeds so I'm under no illusion that he'll magically sleep through at 6 months. Don't think I have supply problems- good weight gain and content after feeds. So should I try to get him to cut down his night feeds somehow when he's 6 months or will I be denying him vital nutrition?

Oh and I don't think he's having a growth spurt- unless they can last for 7 weeks!

OP posts:
tiktok · 10/12/2009 19:06

Tinsel, I am puzzled. Of course babies need to sleep. No one is suggesting keeping babies awake deliberately. The reverse, in fact - it's settling them back to sleep we're discussing, surely? And whether their needs for comfort/milk in the night (after which they return to sleep) should be responded to promptly or whether leaving them to 'cry it out' so they eventually give up in exhaustion and despair is a useful strategy. That's not what you've been doing, is it, so I don't understand your beef with me!

Chica31 · 10/12/2009 19:11

My DD has been the reverse. She is 6.5 months and is now waking in the night after sleeping 7pm to 7am with a dream feed. Not sure what has gone wrong, but since we introduced solids she has been waking. Last night was not too bad, she woke at 2am and I managed to hush her back to sleep, it only took about 15mins. She then woke at 4.45, I hushed again. Very quickly she woke at 5.15 screaming, so at that point I decided she must be hungry and she fed for ages and ages. She then slept until 9am.

I am trying to go with the flow and listen to my baby, not always feeding her when she wakes, but feeding if that is what I think is needed.

I really don't believe there is a right or wrong way, we just all have to do what we believe is best for our own babies and family situation

jelliebelly · 10/12/2009 19:16

Surely it simply depends on the baby? I breastfed both of mine and both slept through without needing/wanting night feeds in their own cots from around 10 weeks old. I have NEVER left either of them to "cry it out" during the night but if they have woken up I have not immediately assumed that they were hungry - very often they wanted comfort/a cuddle/a nappy change/a burp and then straight back to sleep.

MincePAELLA · 10/12/2009 19:24

DS2 is 23 weeks and can easily feed twice a night (as in 1:30am and again at 4:30 - I don't count the 10:30pm as a night feed). He is the 1st DC I have managed to bf for this long so don't have much personal experience to go on whether this is "normal" for this age.

I have ummed and ahhhed on whether he "needs it" but he doesn't take a dummy and although he self soothes to sleep, I can't be bothered to let him cry for too long in case he wakes himself more (or DH for that matter). So I groggily take him into bed, feed for 10-20min and put him back in his cot (or sometimes just let him sleep in our bed and I am not even a "proper co-sleeper").

It is a bit frustrating to be so tired especially with a 4yr old and 2 yr old to look after, do school runs etc. And even more so that DS2 wakes in the morning (anything from 6:30am) and doesn't want to feed til 8:15am or later (as he had a feed around 4:30 or so, varies night to night).

I drink A LOT OF COFFEE to get through it.

I will be interested paraniod how you get on once you start the weaning process. Maybe you can give me some tips.

jobhuntersrus · 10/12/2009 19:26

I think the most important thing is that the whole family is getting enough rest. A grumpy sleep deprived parent not good for the children either. If a quick feed is going to settle baby with the minimum fuss and everybody gets back to sleep again quickly then what's the problem. If however baby is waking over and over again or for what ever reason waking in the night is a big deal for the family then for everyone's sake something needs to be done. And lets not forget everybody's definition of sleeping through can be different!

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 19:27

princesstoadstool - ahh yes this old 'looks as though you are suggesting' chestnut. If you have to say 'looks as though you are suggesting' that means that's not what I said, doesn't it?

Tiktok - the beef is with your post not with you. The post seemed to me to be suggesting that teaching a child to sleep, when they would choose to wake in the night for comfort feeding, is cruel. If your post was specifically in response to cece then you should have addressed it to her otherwise it looks as though it is a general comment.

bruffin · 10/12/2009 19:28

Curiosity you are spot on. My 2 slept in our room and both slept through from 3 months. I think they used to wake up, hear mum and dad snoring and realise it's night time and go back to sleep.

wb · 10/12/2009 19:35

Well, ds1 woke every 3 hours to feed at night (and I mean every night) til he was 10 mo old. By 10 mo I was confident enough that he didn't 'need' the food and, frankly, by that time I needed the sleep more than I felt he needed the comfort of feeding. We sent dh down with a bottle of water when he cried - after 3 nights he started sleeping through. Wish now I had tried that at 6mo tbh.

bedlambeast · 10/12/2009 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tiktok · 10/12/2009 19:51

curiousity - my post specifically mentioned 'cry it out'....read it again. It described ignoring needs, no matter how much a baby cried and screamed.

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 19:54

bedlam - I didn't say 'if you demand feed in the night' and that isn't what I meant either. You have to change my post to make a point?

I also didn't say it was a necessity to teach them either. I started my post with 'My experience' and finished with the one size fit s all thing you quoted - what is your actual point? I also said 'You should do whatever is right for your own child and family, there is no one right way. Night feeding or teaching them about sleeping both are fine if that is genuinely what is needed.'

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 19:58

It said cry it out at the end tik tok. If it was specifically talking about that comment rather than a response to the OP it could have been clearer. Can you not see how it might have irritated me if you took it in the context of the general discussion rather than as a response to cece i.e. all teaching children to sleep is crying it out?

tiktok · 10/12/2009 20:00

And another thing ....curiosity, you pick a hole in my analogy with partners. Partners have language. Partners understand language. Babies don't - all they have to indicate a need for milk/comfort is to show by their distress that something is not right. Of course I would object to a partner shouting and demanding...and I would object to an older child, with language and empathy and understanding, shouting and screaming, too.

But we are talking about babies - what on earth do you expect of them? Asking politely and quietly if they might possibly disturb you?

My analogy intended to demonstrate that we all of us have needs for comfort and closeness...beyond the physical needs of sustenance. And that includes babies. As they grow they can be encouraged to 'compromise' and defer gratification and to feel safe and all the other social teaching 'stuff' parents engage in. I'm sure you'd agree that this 'stuff' does not include ignoring the screams of a tiny baby, in the interests of 'crying it out'.

tiktok · 10/12/2009 20:02

Look, curiosity, I really can't be blamed if your irritation occurs simply because you haven't got to the end of a post.

Original poster
ParanoidAtAllTimes · 10/12/2009 20:11

TBH feeding 2 or 3 times in the night would be living the dream for me at the moment! Although this would be considered 'a bad night' back when ds was looking close to sleeping through, of course. I may try just cuddling him if he wakes shortly after a feed and see what he does- obviously if he does't settle then I'll feed him.

Granted, every baby/family are different and everyone has their own experiences and opinions but it's been very useful to read your posts so thanks everyone!

MincePaella- likewise! I'm sure I'll be frequenting the weaning board in 5 weeks' time

OP posts:
Quiltedrose · 10/12/2009 20:24

DD2 (6 mths) is also still waking in the night - have just started weaning. She was slept through between 3 and 5 month and since then waking every night, altho' only once. Usually wakes somewhere between 4 and 5.30, has a feed, goes straight back to sleep - but now (I would say, the last 3 weeks) is not wanting either a milk feed or breakfast until about 10.30am which is sort of stuffing up the 3 meals a day thing. So I don't think it is about needing the milk as such!

I do notice though that her pudgy little hands are really cold - so I wonder if that's what wakes her up. Maybe need to find some baby sized fingerless gloves

LolaBella · 10/12/2009 20:26

I still feed my 14 month old ds once a night. He drains a 6oz bottle 6 nights out of 7 and sometimes when the bottle is finished he cries for more. He eats extremely well in the day 3 meals plus snacks (my childminder in fact often comments on how much he eats) so i am not concerned that he is not getting enough to eat in the day and yet he still drinks all that milk a night. Is this comfort feeding or a hungry baby?

My HV saya i should stop now and let him cry it out but dh and i both work and cannot bear the thought of more sleepless nights when for the sake of a ten minute bottle he goes back down until 7/7.30am.

I really don't know what to do after reading other posts on this thread now

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 20:29

tiktok - I read the end of the post. When you referenced 'cry it out' it appeared to me you were suggesting all sleep training is letting babies 'cry it out' not that you were replying to cece.

Babies can communicate with parents. Why do you think I expect babies to ask politely for things? I expect babies to use crying as one way of communicating I wouldn't automatically interpret said cry, or waking at night, as a need for milk. Even my 4 week olds sometimes just stir in their sleep, start to cry, fart and go back to sleep without feeding. Does not automatically mean distress, it means loads of different things, it's just the main, but not only, way a baby communicates. In fact if they want milk they normally snuffle and root as they wake, if they cry it is normally because of wind or because they have kicked themselves up out of their blankets and got cold.

cheesefarmer · 10/12/2009 20:33

You can eliminate the night feeds without cry it out and imo that's the best way to go.

HarkTheHerAuldAngelsSing · 10/12/2009 20:35

Mincepaella: this is not a facetious remark: do you think the LOTS of coffee might be affecting your baby's sleep? I am curious about this, as I have been drinking caffeine-free drinks for ages now, since I was PG, but haven't wanted to stop until DS2 is not BFing any more.

tiktok · 10/12/2009 20:38

FGS, curiosity - the comment about babies asking 'politely' was a joke, to illustrate the lack of verbal ability in a baby. I have not said anywhere that babies only cry as a result of a need for milk....this is why I have used 'comfort' as a reason (babies get comfort from milk of course, breast or bottle).

I am sorry if my post was not crystal clear. Seems to me you worked yourself into a state of irritation (annoyed at my 'emotional blackmail' !!!) and decided I was generalising, no matter what I said at the end of the post, and ignoring the fact that my post was near cece's, that the age I mentioned was 6 mths (cece's baby's age) and that I clearly wrote about babies screaming and crying in despair.

MincePAELLA · 10/12/2009 20:40

hark good point actually but have to admit that I was bit naughty re caffeine w/all 3 DC's during pg and bf . DC3 is the only one that doesn't sleep through so I think he is just a different baby.

I am a no no re coffee after 3pm though, just in case.

poinsettydawg · 10/12/2009 20:40

only read op.

I don't believe they do.

EdgarAleNPie · 10/12/2009 20:41

both mine mostly slept through from 6 months or earlier (reasonable length fom 6 weeks)- though it was 6 months i decided no more getting up (especially for d, who would wake up, muck about, go back to sleep without a proper feed)

DS still wakes up early (6 ish) but i think he's just a really hungry baby.

i have to say weaning made a hge difference to sleep in mine - on a day by day basis - more solid food = more sleep. i haven't seen a proper study into this yet....(there is daft one online where they point out the total slept by weaned is same as unweaned. great. what is the total in one go...)

of course babies do wake & cry for mre reasons than hunger....

Effjay · 10/12/2009 20:42

Neither of mine were fed during the night at 6 months. But I waned them both at 20 weeks and they were having breakfast, lunch and tea by then (small amounts)

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