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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

'Babies don't need night feeds at 6 months': do we believe this, MN jury?!

147 replies

ParanoidAtAllTimes · 10/12/2009 12:44

I'm EBFing ds (5 months) and planning to do BLW at 26 weeks. He wakes multiple times in the night for feeds so I'm under no illusion that he'll magically sleep through at 6 months. Don't think I have supply problems- good weight gain and content after feeds. So should I try to get him to cut down his night feeds somehow when he's 6 months or will I be denying him vital nutrition?

Oh and I don't think he's having a growth spurt- unless they can last for 7 weeks!

OP posts:
mspotatochip · 10/12/2009 15:17

I might just print out tiktoks comment and paste it on my bedside table to read when i'm cursing the 11.30 /1.30/3 and 6 am feeds DS is 6 months this week and a rubbish sleeper

nickytwotimes · 10/12/2009 15:20

Good post from tiktok.

My ds slept from 6 mths, btu that was entirely down to him and to luck
Less than 18 ths I wouldn't expect it.

Derry76 · 10/12/2009 15:25

With both my DD's we were lucky enough that they love their sleep, but we continued to give them a night feed until they were 5 or 6 months old, which they always took. It was only when we realised that we were constantly having to wake them for this feed that we decided to knock it on the head ! You will probably find that once your DS has been weaned, he wont need a night feed (or he may think that he needs a feed but will realise soon enough that he doesnt!). somanyboyssolittletime is right, you need to make the break yourself and see how they react !

jujubean · 10/12/2009 15:36

Best bit of advice I ever got when I was starting BLW with DD1 was when someone told me the origins of the word 'weaning'. 'To wean' comes from 'to accustom', it is a process not changing from milk to food overnight. If you start to introduce food your baby will naturally take less milk and whether they take less milk during the night or during the day is down to them. It may take several months, with BLW they often just play with the food for several weeks and don't consume a great deal of it.

minervaitalica · 10/12/2009 15:38

DD stopped needing a night feed and slept through from 6 months (but was very prem, so she was really 3 1/2 mths at that stage).

We did try to keep up the night feed for a bit longer as she was not putting on much weight at that stage, but frankly that was a waste of time as she would not have it.

I think it just comes down to luck though - my cousin's DS still wakes a lot at 11 months, but does not want any food - he just wants to play...

YanknChristmasCrackers · 10/12/2009 16:25

DS is 15 weeks, EBF, and hasn't fed at night since 8 weeks (bar twice when we were away). He has 6oz EBM for his last feed of the day around 7pm, goes to bed by 7:30-8ish, and sleeps till 6:30-7ish. The tradeoff is, he doesn't nap during the day (10 minutes here and there, more if in the car), and he feeds about every two hours while awake!

Think it just depends on baby really, I certainly did nothing to make him drop his 3am feed--just one day he stopped waking up!

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 16:32

Completely disagree with TikTok's post actually and feel it is emotional blackmail.

My experience of babies and small children says that they'll be capable of sleeping through at different times and they'll wake for different reasons and needing different responses. Some will feel upset and need a cuddle, some will want milk, some just don't like their beds and want to get up. If your baby is the last kind then going in to give them attention of any kind eventually leads to them waking more and more and being tired and bad tempered in the day. The kind that want milk can be given milk or taught to drink milk in the day and the ones that want a cuddle can be given a cuddle without the milk.

Teaching a baby to feed in the day rather than the night is not in itself ignoring their needs as they will not miss out on the affection or milk, they'll just have it in the day instead. It is teaching them that the daytime is for wakefulness and the night for sleeping.

The comparison to a partner is hardly the same - a partner is a partner and not a dependant. Last time I checked DH did not drink coke/tea/wine e.t.c from my breasts and I was not required to sit with him if he wanted to stay up or get up in the night or soothe him back to sleep. You have to teach a child that night is sleep time at some point and some children learn this earlier than others.

If we're insisting on comparing babies to parners - I'm not sure anybody would be pleased if their partner woke at 3am every night shouting at them to get them a cup of tea a la daddy grewal either, how many people would oblige happily, get the tea, then pour it into their helpless partner's mouth and how many would say "shut up and go back to sleep"?

Deliberately not teaching a child about night-time has no benefit at all to the child and sometimes has a negative effect because the child needs to sleep. It is difficult for the parent to cope with wakefulness over a prolonged period and if you think about it, what you are teaching them is that they are more important than anyone else and they don't need to consider anyone else's needs. Families work best when everybody is aware of everybody else's needs and is also aware that they need to consider them. This raises much nicer children too. Also, the earlier you learn something the easier it is to understand.

Stupid comment about expecting a lot of babies too. Actually much more is expected of a baby than an adult just by the nature of a baby being a baby - the pressure of and the amount of learning they need to do is immense, much more than a grown up. They take all their cues from the world around them a wakeful baby doesn't just grow out of it, they learn not to wake. One of a human's basic needs in order to function is sleep. Why you would deny your baby enough sleep to help them learn and grow I have no idea?

I'm fairly sick of listening to this assumption that wanting your child to sleep through is cruel and I don't know where it comes from. Crying it out may be cruel but that very much depend why the child is crying. If it is upset and a desire for comfort then it is cruel to deny the comfort but if it is anger and a dislike of bed then perhaps not so. You don't give toddlers attention if they are angrily shouting but you do give cuddles if they are upset.

Any one size fits all idea about parenting is going to be wrong, all children are different. You should do whatever is right for your own child and family, there is no one right way. Night feeding or teaching them about sleeping both are fine if that is genuinely what is needed.

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 16:40

Oh I kind of agree with the statement in the title but would change it to 'Most babies can do without milk at night from 6 months.'

CatIsSleepy · 10/12/2009 16:49

dd1 slept through from 3 months
dd2 is 9m and still has night feeds-she was showing signs of being able to manage without then
a) she started teething
b)she got ill

grrrrrrr

loopyloo82 · 10/12/2009 16:50

Good point curiosity - I'm not sure there is anything that can be applied to all babies.

And I'm certainly not counting on my 4mo being able to do without milk by 6 months unless by some miracle. Whether it's for nutrition or comfort I intend to feed her.

cassell · 10/12/2009 17:00

I'm doing BLW & BF, ds is 8mths and still really doesn't eat hardly anything (solids wise) so continues to have the same amount of BF as he did when he was younger. He wakes once/twice in the night and seems really hungry, he will feed for much longer than in the day and therefore imo he needs it. I find that in the day he will only bf for 5-10mins and gets easily distracted by everything that is going on.

I can see that if your baby is eating loads of solids & milk during the day maybe they don't need milk at night but ime with BLW it doesn't work like that! I wish it did

suwith3 · 10/12/2009 17:01

having read some of the threads on here, I just had to respond.

I have 8 month old triplets and they have slept through the night from 4 and a half months old. They are all bottle fed and we started weaning at about 6 months and are doing great.

To test if they were ready to go through the night, one day, after they had had their 4pm bottle, we put them to bed and just left them to see how long they would go before waking and wanting a feed - they woke up at 0430! That told me they were ready. I know hubby and I needed them to start going through the night! Over the next few days we increased the amount in their bottles so that they were getting plenty during the day. Then we gradually changed their feed times so that they had a final feed at 1930 and I got some bottles of cooled boiled water at the ready! Put them to bed one night and daughter woke up, gave her some bottle of water at about 3am and since then they have all slept through.

One bonus of having triplets is that when they wake in the night, they chatter to each other until they nod back off!

Now we get them up at 7am, they have porridge then some bottle, a meal at lunch and then two further bottles during the day. As they were quite premature, the weaning is going to take a while longer for them to build up to, but going well so far.

neenz · 10/12/2009 17:02

Most babies don't need night feeds after 6mths, but if you keep giving them, they will keep demanding them.

I did night feeds till 8mths. At that stage they were eating lots during the day so I felt they were just waking out of habit. Two nights of controlled crying (patting and shushing at 5, 10, 20 min intervals) and they were sleeping through.

You say your baby is waking every hour or so in the night - that will not be due to hunger or the need for comfort, it is just because he can't get himself back to sleep. Teaching him to self-settle is one of the best things you can do. When he is an active toddler, you (and he) will need a good night's sleep to be able to cope during the day!

This is a good age to start doing some gently sleep training IMO.

neenz · 10/12/2009 17:07

Mmm, actually, not sure about that when you are BLW - if your baby is not really having anything apart from BM during the day then he probably will wake out of hunger at night.

I know the accepted mantra on MN is that milk is more filling than food but that was not my experience. My twins were much more settled after they started having baby rice etc as well as BM - before that they were demanding a BF every hour or so in the evenings.

So if you are planning to BLW and your LO doesn't eat much at first (which he probably won't) then you should be prepared to feed in the night.

Su is right about multiples chatting to each other in the night

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 17:09

Neenz - hi!

I'd add that some babies would rather have milk than solids too since it was there first and involves lots of attention and a cuddle. Sometimes having the same amount of milk as before will be causing them to not eat solids during the day not the other way around. Basically with babies of this age 6 months and above, you can normally chose what you prefer and implement it. Some people prefer to feed milk to their babies, some prefer food and some babies prefer milk and some prefer food. What ends up happening will be because of the interactions of the parent's and the babies preferences normally.

by 'do without' I mean literally that - most can do without it. Some will need it and some won't want it but most can manage without. So, if they choose, most people can teach their babies to sleep through at this age and they'll not miss out on nutrition.

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/12/2009 17:12

God, my grammar and punctuation has gone completely to pot! lol

fabhead · 10/12/2009 17:14

with my two they stopped night feeds about the same time they started having 2/3 meals a day - did it on their own, dont know if that helps.

CarGirl · 10/12/2009 17:14

I agree with Castille's post they don't need night feeds if they are having enough during "daytime" hours.

My youngest 3 were breastfed. They all slept through the night before 6 months, my youngest slept through (8pm until 7am is what I mean by sleeping through) from about 2 weeks old!

They were large from birth babies and I did ensure that feed plenty during the day by waking them if they had gone more than 3 hours without a feed. Didn't do controlled crying with them but didn't routinely feed them to sleep.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/12/2009 17:25

I stopped night feeds at 8 weeks with both of mine - just plugged the dummy back in one night and they went back to sleep.

They were bottle fed.

colditz · 10/12/2009 17:26

Ds1 bottlefed, 8lb 7, no night feeds after 6 weeks.

Ds2 bottle fed, 8lb 4oz, night feeds until 13 months.

naomi83 · 10/12/2009 17:27

Wanted to scream and shout about tiktok's post, but curiousity worded it much better (and less angrily) than I would have.
We dropped the 3am feed when my son was 4months old, first giving it in a bottle (he already took one bottle of EBM in the day at that point, this also meant DH could give it once a week), then giving less and less, finally switching to boiled water after 2 weeks. We did the same at 6/7 months with the 11pm dream feed, and by 7.5 months DS was sleeping through. He's been a great sleeper ever since, and aged 2.5 is a much more pleasant and well rested kid than my two friends' kids, who were fed on demand through the night until recently, and are spoiled, sleep deprived little terrors. Happy, well adjusted babies and toddlers need an uninterrupted night's sleep, as do happy, loving parents.

PrincessToadstool · 10/12/2009 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiktok · 10/12/2009 18:03

My post was in response to the idea that it is a good thing to allow a baby to cry and scream for attention/food/comfort and to ignore those cries ( ie to let the baby 'cry it out' which is what someone's health visitor was suggesting) and to explain the idea that wakig/feeding 'just for comfort' is neither bad nor abnormal.

It was not a comment on other ways of encouraging or teaching or supporting babies to settle/sleep longer at night.

OK?

tiktok · 10/12/2009 18:07

Having said that, there may be many reasons why a toddler may appear as if he is a 'spoiled, sleep-deprived little terror' (charming)....I think happy co-sleeping is unlikely to be one of them.

TinselInYourBum · 10/12/2009 18:39

I agree with curiousity. I do believe tiktok's advice on breastfeeding issues is very valuable, but I also believe babies need to sleep for their growth and development. DS is 5 months old and was feeding on demand and I used to feed him every two/three hours at night until two weeks ago. I was beginning to resent him and he was cranky all the time. I began to just settle him at night and he only has one big feed during a twelve hour period at night now. I am happier, he is so much smilier and happier. If he cries at night now, I will comfort him and shush him and he goes back to sleep pretty much straight away. I believe it is detrimental to both the mother and the child if they derieve all their comfort from food. The last few nights he has woken for one feed and that is it. My mother had 5 children and breastfed us all, she thought there was something seriously wrong with DS waking several times during teh night after the age of three months. I continued to ignore her advice because I felt I was denying him something he needed, be it comfort or food. Then I began to realise that my brothers, sisters and I are all healthy and happy in our lives and that I was, in my mother's words, 'making an eejit out of myself and DS.

I am happier, he is happier, and I had forgotten what it felt like to feel normal and well rested until this week. Everybody is entitled to their opinion on this issue, but I feel that I really am doing the best I can for DS right now, and it shows in the change in his temperment.

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