How old is 'too old' to breastfeed? (long sorry)

[NaturalMama]

My first post on here after lurking for a very long time. I'm also planning to post in AIBU (I'm made of strong stuff!)

I've started to get quite a few snarky comments and dirty looks while breastfeeding my eldest. These are not from mere strangers but from dear close friends and immediate family.

My eldest is 4.2, going into reception and he has had access to 'minty' ( his word) whenever he likes since birth. At the moment he currently has it after breakfast (and after I've fed his sister), in place of and/or just before or after his afternoon kip around 2pm, and just after tea. Sometimes more, sometimes just once. He is very excited about going to school but he's always been a very very shy boy and we've had talks about him not having minty during the day but he seems okay with it. I've never tried to get him to stop as I think if he asks for it, he obviously needs the comfort. He's never had a dummy/comforter and shows no interest in bartering minty time for toys, sweets, etc.

I had a baby when he was 2 who passed away at 4 months old. I do admit that feeding my eldest was just as comforting for me as it was for him during that time, and I felt it wasn't fair on him to go cold turkey when he was having an emotional time as well.

My youngest is just gone 7 months and she feeds about 5 times a day, obviously between when DS has a go.

Family is starting to tease DS about it saying he's not a big boy and his school friends will think he's silly. It's a private thing and we are always alone when we do it (apart from DD and DH) but family/friends ask me if I've stopped yet and I feel a bit huffy about it.

I know he's not getting anything nutritionally out of it, but can I ask the Mumsnet jury what you think? Is it harmless/comforting for him especially at a time of upheaval (i.e. sister being born, loss of second, starting school) or is it time to give it up and if so - how on earth do I go about doing this? It's not about me babying him as I have another baby I can happily feed for at least another two years!

Yes i agree, just because they dont talk alot does not mean that they are not understanding and are not developing as they should. Somestimes dd does surprise me with some of the things that she comes out with. There are psychological theories of child development that stipulate at each stage of development what your child should be doing, i just totally ignore them, each child is different and if you are concerned after a while they have not reached a certain milestone to take it further.

I have never really thought about when should be the cut off point - with both my children it stopped at an earlier age, very naturally.

But to answer the question posed by the OP - reception is 'too old' in my opinion.

Sorry about losing your baby. How sad for you all. Sorry too to hear about the teasing. Someone needs to put a foot down and put an end to this. Speaking as an extended bfer myself, I don't see anything wrong with it, but I had daughters and I don't think society has the same reaction to little girls breastfeeding as they have to boys.
Your son will possibly find that the company of the other children in school will open new social vistas for him, which is natural, and he may gradually decide without even noticing it or thinking about it that he is going to take to his new environment and leave aspects of his old one behind. This may mean bfing will become less important. My daughter, who stopped bfing at almost 4, had chats in nursery school with other boys and girls who had memories of bfing -- they all pretended to bf the dolls and bears in the classroom, which I took as a sign that they had moved on. Ages 4 to 6 are transition years where each child moves at his or her own pace, so guard against the teasing, which is about the only really harmful thing that can happen as a result of bfing, IMO.

Oh, pisces - sorry for being so facetious. I really didn't mean to be offensive. I've tried having conversations with dd about the fact that her big sister died before she was born, but it didn't really register - but so utterly, utterly different from losing a daddy though.

So sorry for being an arse and making a crap joke, Should really learn to be more thoughtful.

Don't worry-no offence taken! I was just making the point that a 2 yr old isn't a baby. I have decided that people should decide what is right for their DC and I shouldn't comment!