A thread written for DH/DPs to read, so that they can support their breastfeeding DW

[HeinzSight]

I'm having baby number 4 in a few weeks and am determined (again) to make a go of breastfeeding, I couldn't quite manage it with the last three, various problems, the main being post natal depression. DH has always been happy to support me with whatever my decision has been.

I've done lots of research and started many threads on this topic and have realised what a big role DH can play in giving you the determination to continue BF.

The reason I've started this thread is so that men can read it and have more of an insight into their role where breastfeeding is concerned and what a woman needs from him to enable her to stick with it. I'm going to ask my DH to read this when it's full enough

Great idea. I hope you remain problem free - or have fantastic support for any issues this time around .

There are loads of ways partners can help. One of the ways that sticks in my mind is being completely supportive if / when the mother comes under any criticism - whether this is from a MIL who thinks baby should be topped up or some stares in public. A partner who is supportive in these situations if they arise is fantastic

A simple 'you are doing it all really well' helped for me.

Avoid asking when the breasts will be 'yours' again

If your dw/p is having a bad day with bf do not suggest going out to buy formula give her a hug and chocolate and tell her what a great job she is doing .

By the way heinz I had dd6 7 weeks ago and have finally managed to breastfeed thanks to all the advice on here so I hope it all goes well for you too .

thanks all so far.

comewhinewithme, I think you've made a very good point there about a DH not suggesting to buy formula. It must be v hard for a man to see his wife struggling with feeding and his instinct (I know this is the case with my DH) is to make life (seem) easier by suggesting formula. Congrats to you by the way

cake ....... goooooooooooooooooooooood!!

Don't make bitty jokes .

?

comewhinewithme.... sorry, for a moment there I thought I'd made a faux pas and cake was some sort of euphemism for bitty!! Phew!!

DH is repulsed by those bitty sketches! Urgh

Get out of bed to hand your DW your baby for the nightfeeds from time to time, sometimes you're so knackered it just makes it that bit easier.

Tell her to wake you to wind the baby after the feed. I know bf babies aren't supposed to have wind but no one told my DD that.

.

Always be ready with a glass of water for when the raging thirst kicks in during the first few minutes of feeding.

Cake also good .

My DH suggests "do everything else" because feeding is the one thing you can't do. My DH is great and I'm still successfully BFing at 4.5 months . He has always done the bulk of settling our little one to sleep at night - not such a heavy load now, but when he didn't sleep for more than 6 hours in a 24 hour period for, well, let's just say, ENOUGH of the days from 6-13 weeks, he was a total star. Completely knackered for going to work, and MIL had to do a few night stints for his sanity. But still we survived to tell the tale.

Bumping before I go to bed!

ooh - good thread.
Hover around for the first few minutes of the feed, as if she's like me, your dw/dp will only remember that she wants a cup of tea/tv remote/book once the little one has actually latched on, and will need someone mobile to go round the house collecting all this stuff for her.

Don't care what your mum, dad, sister or work colleagues think about how babies should be treated, or what they need. Or at least, don't pass on these snippets of information onto your wife/partner. That goes for everything, not just BF.

LLL do a leaflet for dads that you might find usefel.

And do you have sky+? Very helpful for the early-feeding-for-hours-days to have some decent tv saved up to watch so you can be zen-like while feeding on demand. If not, perhaps DH could look into getting it for you?

My lovely, lovely DH just got a tad too obsessed with positioning in his attempts to help. 'I think you're holding him too high up, try moving him down a bit, right a bit, down a bit more ...' It was as if we were trying to fit a sofa thro the door! It would have been much better to have been given some reassurance and a chocolate bar!

If you can see your DPs breast pads through her top do not dance around the kitchen dangling round t-bags in-front of your chest singing "who am I?"

She probably knows but doesn't care and just wants you to make the tea.

Oh and also educate yourself as why BFing is beneficial past 6 months and even if you are unsure support your DPs choice to continue.

In the first few weeks, while you are getting it established, DH needs to do a lot of stuff around the house and with the other DCs. You can then concentrate on feeding the baby.

Definitely hover around for the first minute as she will definitely need the remote/glass of water/cup of tea/muslin etc that she has forgotten.

Make sure you are ready with the remote control, big glass of water, a muslin, extra breastpads, magazines, biscuits and cups of luke warm tea whenever DW sits down to feed.
Do ALL nappies, and when the evening cluster feed gets too much for DW, take the baby out for 15 mins so she can have a good cry and a shower.