Horrible experience breastfeeding in boots.

[nomorelostweekends]

So despite their fantastic breastfeeding policy, it appears that Boots has not got its act together in ensuring that staff are familiar with it. Yesterday I went into a city centre branch without a feeding room and asked to use one of the chairs in the pharmacy waiting area to feed DD2 (tho not sure why I asked in hindsight). The assistant refused, saying that methadone users picked up their prescriptions in the same area. I then asked her if there was someone else I could feed in the store. She stated that the store did not have feeding facilities and directed me to another branch in the city centre. I told her that I didn?t want to walk to the other branch. DD was screaming, I was very hot and the town centre was very busy. I said I was happy to feed anywhere in the store, didn?t care if people saw me and just needed a chair. The assistant repeated that there were no feeding facilities in the store and that I should go to the other one.

By this point there were loads of other customers waiting and I was getting really stressed. I asked if I could use the pharmacists consulting room, which the store has. She initially refused, then agreed to ask the pharmacist. The pharmacist came over and said I could not use the room as she was not sure if they were insured and that was not its purpose. I was about to give up and leave when the pharmacist said she would speak to the manager. The manager obviously said it was fine because I was then taken to the room, although the staff member taking me was very preoccupied by the fact it had a window( thought this was odd at the time, but following later events it made sense!)

Once in the room a member of staff came in and said she was waiting behind the door but that she would have her back to me! I started to feed and over heard the staff member waiting outside the door having a conversation with a man, who I assumed was a member of staff (the room was not in a public area). During this conversation the man clearly said ?She can breastfeed me if she wants?- the member of staff by the door then said ?sush, she can hear you?.. As I left I asked the staff member standing outside the door if the man was a member of Boots staff. She was evasive, but asked if I heard the ?comments?, (suggesting he had made more). Then she said ?sorry, you shouldn?t have heard that, then said ?you know what men are like? and finally asked me not to take it any further (I assumed this meant not to complain).

I rang Boots this morning to explain what happened and am waiting for a response. Am interested to know if anyone else has tried to feed in stores without feeding rooms and how they have got on? Have to say, I have done it once before, 3 years ago in a different branch and they couldn?t have been more helpful. So its not all bad.

OP, sorry you had to go through that. When my 1st was 5 weeks, I'd have still been reluctant to 'whap 'em out' as someone put it (lol!) and so I totally understand your wanting somewhere to sit.

Sounds to me like the lady in Boots knew they had a perv on the staff and wanted to avoid any nastiness involving him. Imagine what he is like to work with! I used to work with someone like that and it was truly awful, so in the name of all pervs who should be sacked, I say go for it with your complaint! Good luck and I hope you get a proper response.

Well my DS is nearly 5 months old and I still wouldn't be able to feed him standing up. I definitely need a chair! Plus I use 'cushions and paraphenalia' at home and whenever possible. DS tends to trash around and get agitated otherwise as we're not comfortable. If this makes me a second-rate BFing mother, who can't feed while white-water rafting, tightrope walking or whatever, then so be it, I'll have to live with my inferiority

I agree that the OP didn't need to ask for a chair, but I can also see why she did. Women are conditioned to do the polite thing and ask. If men could breastfeed, do you think they would ever ask permission to use a chair for feeding, or indeed move on if treated rudely? I bet they wouldn't.

I did breastfeed my first daughter three years ago for 6 months. I am not the most confident feeder nor has either experience been without problems. But I have been breastfeeding when out and about since the first week this time, because I need to be out and about with DD1. Despite DD2 having a tendency to bob on and off frequently, and having a magnificent letdown which often sprays, I regularly feed in café?s etc. I am not always entirely comfortable, but have always just got on with it. I do not ask for any special facilities or attention. I am frankly gobsmacked at the lack of empathy a minority of you have, not for me personally, but in relation to the early days of breastfeeding and just how hard it can be for some women to gain confidence feeding in public in the early weeks.

Thank you to those of you who have recognised the difference between asking if it was ok to breastfeed (which I wasn?t doing) and asking to use a chair which was designated for one purpose for an alternative use. I didn?t put it as eloquently as some of you have done, but I was just being courteous.

Savoycabbage- I?m afraid I can?t recall her exact words. The message was quite clear though. Of course I could have gone ahead and fed, but despite some other people?s opinions on here I wasn?t trying to create a scene or draw attention to myself. I didn?t go ahead and feed because it just isn?t my style.

MC ?I am not going to stoop to your level, but I find your posts offensive and unhelpful. Whilst I understand the points you make, I cannot see why my posts rile you so much and why you have to post using such emotive language. I am fully aware that babies do not explode when not fed immediately and did not for one minute suggest that something terrible would happen if I did not feed my baby immediately. I have 3 year old daughter, DD2 sometimes has to wait. Such is life.

Ripeberry ? You weren?t to know, and I appreciate you were trying to be help, but as part of my job I teach at post graduate level. My specialist interest is attachment and child development, including stress and the modulation of arousal in young babies. I am generally pretty good at reading her cues although like all new mums I get it wrong sometimes. But she definitely needed feeding.

Fillyjonk. Yes, I am shattered. DD is feeding up to 4 times a night. Thanks for pointing this out.

And I agree with all of you who have commented about the assumptions made about people who use methadone, especially given the comment made by the staff member.

Somewhere in all this the point of my original post has almost been lost. I wondered whether other people had fed in Boots branches without feeding rooms and how they had got on. Anyway, thanks again for all the supportive posts. I will post again with the response I get.

so sorry that your thread went a bit pear-shaped. i hope boots are suitably embarrassed.

i've only ever used a feeding room with dd2 in john lewis. otherwise i used to carry around a shawl and hide the babies under it. i also hardly ever went out with dd1. with dd2 i'm more brazen and will feed anywhere. no-one has asked me to stop so far! i do generally find a cafe though, to sit and have a cuppa at the same time.

Blimey - can't decide if I'm more shocked at the outrageous comments and bizarre behaviour by Boots staff or the vitriolic and nasty comments made towards the OP on this thread! Poor you for being put in such an awkward position simply because you politely asked for a chair and well done for making a complaint especially given that Boots have a BF policy. Good luck and I hope that you find a lovely cafe in your town where you can feed away without being sexually harrassed!

5 weeks after giving birth I could hardly stand up at all, let alone stand up and breastfeed

you must all be superwomen

Hi

I have real sympathy for you - I'm not confident feeding outside either with a DS who bobs on and off. I nearly gave up BFing because of it. I still will only go to places where I know I can feed comfortably and DS is 11wks old.

I also hadn't realised that BFing was a competition to see who could do it standing up or twizzling round with their thumb up their a**e.

I used to work for boots . This may be a new policy but I was unaware there was a BFing policy when I was there. IMO the pharmacist should have let you use the consultation room not least because they are a health professional so should be aware of the long term health benefits of BFing.

Being really cynical - maybe they don't want to encourage BFing so they can sell more formula!

I didn't work for them for very long as I didn't agree with some of their business strategies with regard to selling medicines. I used to take down promotional materials I didn't agree with. How I didn't get the sack I don't know.

Good for you for complaining. There is a staff training issue here. Keep us posted as to how you get on. Might be worth mentioning MN - they understandably hate adverse publicity.

I told DH about your experience today and he was angry on your behalf and I do hope you have heard back regarding your complaint.

Sorry, don't have time to read the whole thread but wanted to reply. I'm so outraged I feel like complaining myself!

Poor you. Hope you get a decent response from Boots HQ, and that they speak to the staff members involved as that's absolutely disgusting. that anyone dare make comments like that, let alone in a store that supposedly has such a nursing friendly policy

Hello I wanted to say poor you as well.

Just to contribute, I was in Boots yesterday and - also having read the other post about Boots policy supporting breastfeeding etc and interested to know if the staff knew about it - I asked if they had anywhere I could feed DD. The girl extremely politely said "yes, we have a family room upstairs if you would like to use it, or there are some chairs over there if you prefer" (pointing to pharmacy waiting area)

Family room was nothing special but clean and fairly comfortable and several chairs plus decent baby changing table/sink etc.

i work in boots and find this appalling!! if a mother is comfortable enough to breastfeed in front of others they should always be accommadated! definately take this further as the staff were out of line!
our store is very small and doesn't have feeding facilities but if there is a mother that needs to feed a baby we always tell them they use the chairs by the pharmacy or use the consultation room if they're not comfortable breastfeeding in public.

Any news about your complaint OP? Did they get back to you?

I fed DS3 on the pharmacy chairs in our Boots the other day. Then some off the staff came over to admire him and one had a cuddle. It's a shame the OP didn't have this experience. What a miserable country we must live in.

Good to hear more positive experiences!

No response yet...

I'm new to Mumsnet and to be honest I'm not sure if I was more shocked by the experience in Boots (it was pretty shocking!) or the nasty replies your perfectly reasonable post received! I hope that's not the norm...

As has been said before, well done for ensuring that Boots stuck to their own policy and for making a complaint about the appalling treatment you received. I think that it's more than a training issue but rather a failure on the part of the staff to treat customers and each other with a pretty basic level of courtesey and respect. If you feel you can, please take this issue further with Boots staff as I'm sure more senior staff would be very interested to know how their policy is being implemented (!) on the ground.

On a positive note, it was good to hear that others have had good experiences with establishments supporting breastfeeding mums. I've been breastfeeding my daughter out and about for four months now. We really have been all over the place in London and Norfolk, including shops, restaurants, parks and even my father in law's fusty old London club and (apart from one foul look from a female banker in canary wharf, not sure what that was all about!) have been met with kindness and respsect (and lots of baby fussing!) wherever we've been. Please ladies stay positive about breastfeeding your babies in public, most people (even in grumpy old England) love babies and are happy to help.

any news yet OP?

Someone has tried to call, but we having a lovely day out at the zoo. They left a number so hopefully will speak to them tomorrow..

I am sorry OP that you had a hard time. Basically my advice is this - treat your baby as if it were any kid who is hungry, or yourself. If you need to do something, do it when and where you need to. You find a chair which suits you, sit on it and feed. Have a big pashmina type thing handy if you need cover. Turn to the wall if you need the sense of privacy. Feeding rooms are useful but if there isn't one and you need to feed NOW, don't worry about other people. Your baby matters first. More than you! So think "If this was a rice cake, and my baby realy wanted a ricecake here and now, I wouldn't think twice about it. But it is even more important thn a rice cake, it is milk, she needs it now, I have it, I will give it."

Any thought about whether it is right, or proper, or seemly, or tantalising for gawping men, or whatever, must be firmly put back in you mind so that you can get on with the feeding. It is a conscious decision you have to make yourself.

The very act of asking to use a chair opens yourself up to the possible prejudice, hostility and unwillingness of some others to allow you to get on with your job. They have no part to play in the upbringing of your child, they merely work in places which may or may not have rooms or chairs to help you. I personally would rather sit down on a park bench in the open air or in a busy cafe than in our local Boots feeding room because it is actually just a nappy changing room and loo and stinks of dirty nappies.

Don't ask if you can feed, just feed. Then more people will get the idea that it is not their business where and when you want to feed your baby, it is yours and your baby's business.

Good luck.

I spoke to the manager of the branch concerned today, who was notified about my phone call by head office. She was extremely apologetic and confirmed that it was the company's policy to support customers to breastfeed, either on the shop floor or in private area,if the customer requested this. I think that the focus for the store has predminantly been on the comments made by the staff member. He has recieved a final written warning from the regional manager. The store manager is going to write to me with a full summary of her 'investigation' (her phrase), and with a gift card.

Not sure what i think at the moment, although I think on balance am relieved that he wasn't sacked - he may have family depending on his income and it wouldn't be their fault he made the comment.

Sorry, meant also to say thanks for all the supportive messages again, i did mean to reply to a few more of you but its hard to get even a few minutes at the moment. I have appreciated the encouraging words although I'm not sure i will be starting another thread in a hurry

Hey, ignore MC - she is clearly bonkers.

Just caught up with this thread today.

I am so sorry for your experience.

On a slightly similar note, I was in Boots at the Metro centre today, and dd (3) wanted a wee, and Boots dont have a toilet at all I found this unbelievable.

Someone has already mentioned, Boots is predominanlty marketed as a child/parent friendly company and yet a huge store in a major shopping outlet, does not have a toilet.

I did not need to ask about breast feeding ds as I had already fed him in Pizza hut earlier,with NO strange looks at all, but quite a few "supportive" smiles.

It did strike me, as odd today, that during that 2009, I have only seen 1 person breastfeeding their child.

How sad is that

I would suggest to them that they need to give their staff some training on how to speak to breastfeeding mothers with sensitivity and inform them that they are in fact allowed to use the pharmacy chairs, the pharmacists room or the manager's office if they so wish so no one else has to have an experience like you did.

Why should Boots (or any other shop for that matter) be criticised for not having a public toilet? There are plenty of toilets in the Metrocentre!

Because, Bonneville it would encourage me to shop their again, and spend more money

I am well aware of the toilets in metrocentre, just thought, that this large store like Boots, would provide facilities for baby changing at least, if not toilets also.

Perhaps it is an incorrect assumption, that Boots should have a toilet on my behalf.

Our local morrisons does not have a toilet either, but the tesco down the road does.......guess which one I use when I have dd and ds with me??

I think it would make business sense for Boots to have a mother and baby room, which would involve having toilet facilities and a room to breastfeed in, thats all.

Not a biggie, just an opinion