FANTASTIC article on extended breastfeeding in today's Guardian

[emkana]

here

My ds just grew up too quickly-is now 15 months and everyone around me thinks Ive done it for far too long-Hunker-you are so right(as usual)-Perhaps I want to stop for selfish reasons now as there is certainly no reason why my son wants to stop something he loves so much.

Interesting article and interesting discussion. I don't care what people do.
I don't think bf or not bf, extended bf or not makes a big difference to a child, we have plenty of emotionally balanced, healthy people in the world that where both extended bf and bottlefed so the choice is with parent and child. But I have a couple of points.

Do you not consider that the WHO recommends bf for 2 years because most babies are born in the developing world where nutritional deficiences are common and bfeeding is the best form or nutrition when there is no alternative? We do have a choice in the developed world as we can give our babies balanced nutrition wihtout bfeeding them up to 2 years. I think its a luxury.

I also think that bfeeding a toddler isn't the only way or necessarily the best way to comfort a toddler. I think that it makes it more difficult for the father to take a shared role in some aspects of the childcare as he doesn't have the necessary 'assets' to comfort the child or have those special close moments with a child. The father is sidelined a bit too much for me personally in my situation.

I have to admit I am totally put off the La Leche by the woman feeding her child to 11 years old. Again its up to her what she does, but i would never get involved in anything where the people are extreme. To me it could be comparable to some kind of religious cult or fanatacism. Such an organisation should not be run by extremists but by average people who can support other average people.

I do think its a shame that people feel they pushed one way or another and should be really have support to chose to bf or not. I live in switzerland and I don't feel that any pressure was put on my either way.

Finally, has anyone ever seen a any indication that a baby is bf on popular television? i don't watch much tv and only have one UK channel but wonder why for example it it made so blatently obvious that the baby of the teenager in Eastenders is being ffed (this is one example). It does make ffeeding seem to be the norm and only way to do things. Maybe the bitty sketch isn't so bad because at least it brings bfeeding into normal conversation - but then again I haven't seen it so maybe I have missed the point there.

excellent post leogeala

I slightly disagree with the bf or not comment, especially to 6 months as there are well-published medical benefits, but wholeheartedly agree with the extended bf (to me this is beyond the weaning at 6 months) comment and everything else you have said

Interesting article and interesting discussion. I don't care what people do.
I don't think bf or not bf, extended bf or not makes a big difference to a child, we have plenty of emotionally balanced, healthy people in the world that were both extended bf and same for those bottlefed so the choice is with parent and child. But I have a couple of points.

Do you not consider that the WHO recommends bf for at least 2 years because most babies are born in the developing world where nutritional deficiences are common and bfeeding is the best form or nutrition when there is no alternative? We do have a choice in the developed world as we can give our babies balanced nutrition wihtout bfeeding them up to 2 years. I think its a luxury to have that choice.

I also think that bfeeding a toddler isn't the only way or necessarily the best way to comfort a toddler. I think that it makes it more difficult for the father to take a shared role in some aspects of the childcare as he doesn't have the necessary 'assets' to comfort the child or have those special close moments that someone mentioned. The father is sidelined a bit too much for me personally in my situation.

I have to admit I am totally put off the La Leche by the woman feeding her child to 11 years old. Again its up to her what she does, but i would never get involved in anything where the people are so extreme. To me it could be comparable to some kind of religious cult or fanatacism. Such an organisation should not be run by extremists but by average people who can support other average people.

I do think its a shame that people feel they pushed one way or another and should really have support to chose to bf or not, should feel normal if they do or not. I live in switzerland and I don't feel that any pressure was put on my either way.

Finally, has anyone ever seen any indication that a baby is bf on popular television? i don't watch much tv and only have one UK channel but wonder why for example it it made so blatently obvious that the baby of the teenager in Eastenders is being ffed (this is one example). It does make ffeeding seem to be the norm and only way to do things. Maybe the bitty sketch isn't so bad because at least it brings bfeeding into normal conversation - but then again I haven't seen it so maybe I have missed the point there.

Leogaela, the WHO recommendation is based on research across different cultures and countries, and while children in situations where economic privation means food is in short supply will continue to need breastmilk into toddler and childhood in order to grow, there are health benefits for families in all situations. There is plenty on this if you search the mumsnet archives.

sorrry.. I managed to post that twice!

Mud - I agree with what you say, but just worry that people that can't or chose not to breastfeed are somehow looked down on or negatively by others and made to feel guilty and I don't think that's good for mother and therfore not good for the child so I think its important that ffeeding isn't seen by us bfeeding mothers as something bad.

Tiktok - how much and how often does the WHO recommend bfeeding a 2 year old? Is it enough once a day?

I think there is too much worry about formula feeding being looked down on and mums being made to feel guilty. Obviously most mums don't feel too guilty about it or the UK wouldn't have such a high rate of bottle feeding.

that sounded really short, wasn't meant too!

Leo, there is no prescriptive amount of breastfeeding. WHO say exclusive for about six months and then alongside other foods for at least two years, I think is the wording.

Not getting at you, but I get tired of pleas from people not to make formula feeding mothers feel guilty, which happen all the time on Mumsnet and elsewhere.

I don't think anyone has the power to 'make' anyone feel guilty (to feel guilty you have to think you have done something wrong!).

The truth is that mothers generally may lack confidence in whatever method they're using to feed. Mothers who breastfeed may be under tremendous pressure to give bottles, or not to feed at certain times or in certain places. Mothers who formula feed may feel under pressure because they think people are critical of them.

I don't think any one group needs protection from other people's views any more than another group. Mothers can feel 'got at' whatever they do

I thought it was a fantastic article. It has made me really determined to breastfeed DS3 (my third and last!) until he wants to stop.

I only breastfed my DS1 for 5.5 months and really regret stopping so early. I did breastfeed DS2 until he stopped asking but in fact that was quite early (about 15 months). Who knows what will happen this time? I have discussed it with DH and he's supportive.

Tiktok - I agree, it is important for a mother to be comfortable and confident whether they bfeed or not and for how long. I am shocked that people experience negative comments when they feed in public. It was one of my fears when ds was born, but so far so good and I am confident enough now to tell someone to sod off if they make a negative comment about me bfeeding in public.

The comment my DH picked up on was the belief that extended breastfeeding had made one mother's child so intelligent that she was putting 7 words together at 2. So can my dd at 2.2 years but I'm not still breastfeeding (though I suppose bf till 12.5 months still puts me in the minority category!). I read some research here that was positive but still doesn't prove any benefits beyond 9 months, although there may be other health benefits.

Mud and Leogaela - if I'm right in understanding what you have said, you suggest weaning from breastfeeding at 6 months.

Onto what? They can't have cow's milk at 6 months, so it would have to be formula.

Why do you think that formula is better for the baby at 6 months, when you say that breastmilk is the best thing for the first 6 months? Seems a bit contradictory.

I'm sorry if I've misunderstood, and also feel I should put the usual "I don't want to upset formula-feeders" disclaimer on this post

I thought that bit was rubbish muminlondon. My DS2 could do that and I only breastfed him until he was 15 months!

Hunkermunker - ds is 2 months, I am not suggesting anything, I am just taking one day at a time wiht all aspects of caring for my baby. I have no plans to bf or not beyond today and tomorrow, I have no idea what I will be doing in one month or 6, but I do think about it a lot. I am going back to work (3 days) when ds is 7 months and I have no idea if I am still bfeeding then how it will work, how often he will need milk etc.... I am sure I will work things out perfectly well for all of us.

Leogaela, totally agree with taking things one day at a time! I still do that!

I went back to work 18 hours a week (over two days) when DS was 6 months old, and expressed milk for him to have while I was there. He didn't eat much food at all until he was closer to seven or eight months, so I had to express a lot of milk!

If you want to keep breastfeeding after you go back to work, I'm happy to tell you more about how I did things. If not, that's fine too!

Also, there was a suggestion that Little Mo's baby was breastfed on EastEnders - she talked about bottles of expressed milk. But it was only in passing - there was also talk of it at the rape court case, iirc.

I think the problem with bfing on tv is that unless the actress has a baby it is very difficult to show bfing realistically. programs just reflect real life anyway, and bottle feeding IS the norm, unfortunately

Leogaela - tons of people on here will be able to help you with bfing and going back to work if you do decide to carry on, I went back to uni when ds was 4 months and haven't had to give him formula yet, he's 11 months now.

Babies on Australian soaps are usually breastfed....reflecting the much higher bf rate there. They seem to manage from the acting point of view!

Even the surrogate baby in Home & Away had expressed breastmilk from the surrogate mum.

Ah, yes! The age of 'breastfeeding is the key to genius' theory.

There are plenty of folks in MENSA who weren't breastfed.

I'm not saying breastfeeding isn't the way to go, but I find this whole 'my child is so advanced' and it's directly related to my breastfeeding him after school every day a load of hooey.

No one said that.

I was commenting on muminlondon's post, hunker.

hunkermunker

I can't speak for L but you didn't get what I was saying

L said "I don't think bf or not bf, extended bf or not makes a big difference to a child, we have plenty of emotionally balanced, healthy people in the world that were both extended bf and same for those bottlefed so the choice is with parent and child."

I disagreed with the initial bf bit, I think it is important healthwise (if possible) to breastfeed to 6 months. But the extended bf, ie the past 6 months no, I do not think it does make that big a difference in terms of health or development to a baby.

Personally no I didn't wean my children off the breast at 6 months, I waited until they were old enough to take cow's milk and manage a beaker, each one of mine was weaned before a year though, anywhere after 9 months to be honest. I dislike the concept of breastfeeding toddlers, children who can talk, walk, hoik up your top are old enough to be handed a cup of cow's milk and cuddled for comfort. And I think it is 'bitty' when 3 and 4 year olds breastfeed in all senses of the word, particularly in public. But then I also think there's something wrong with people who refer to 2 year olds as 'he's 24 months old' (different topic, but evokes same sense of let them develop to me)

If we need disclaimers then I don't really care what other people choose to do, formula or not, extended breastfeeding or not. everyone has the right to take care of their children the way they best see fit.

but there always seem to be a lot of militant extended breastfeeders on this site, which does not actually reflect society, and I for one will not be cowed into silence by the shouting down that will no doubt come after this post