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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I know breast feeding is the best -blar de blar - but I HATE it.

103 replies

edgarcat · 20/04/2003 10:48

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mears · 20/04/2003 11:06

edgarcat - you deserve to be congratulated for attempting to breastfeed again despite not liking it. I have to say though, that if you resent feeding your baby, do not do it. How old is no.3? You might find that as the weeks pass your feelings will change. Another mumsnetter who disliked breastfeeding was Jasper. If you do a search for her threads you will see a story similar to yours. However Jasper is now a breastfeeding convert, still feeding her ds at a year.

Original poster
edgarcat · 20/04/2003 11:33

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Slinky · 20/04/2003 11:43

I completely understand how you feel!

I absolutely detested b/feeding - I fed No 1 for 2 months, No 2 for 4 months and No 3 for 1 month.

I HATED every feed time and when I think back now (they are 7, 5 and 3 now) I feel sad that the times when I should have been enjoying my babies were marred by the breastfeeding

My friend breastfed each of hers for 18 months and loved it and I would read loads of postings on websites about how everyone loved it - and I used to wonder if I was doing it wrong - I really couldn't understand it.

Well done for breastfeeding through the thrush (had that with No 3 and the reason why I gave up at 1 month!).

I'm not having any more children (DH is having snip next week) and I am so relieved that I will NEVER have to breastfeed again

Original poster
edgarcat · 20/04/2003 13:57

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kaz33 · 20/04/2003 15:39

Don't feel bad - my mum formula fed me and my brother from day one and I have the constitution of an ox !!

I too had a terrible time breastfeeding and felt so relieved when I gave up after a month. This time round I am going to play it by ear but think that I am going to try mixed feeding if it all goes pear shaped again.

Demented · 20/04/2003 16:56

Just wanted to echo Mears and say well done for feeding no 3 even although you don't like doing it. Good on you as well saying you will stick it out until solids. One thing that does strike me is that you say you are sore, are you sure that everything is OK with the latch/positioning, do you know that there are many b/feeding counsellors (La Leche League, Association of B/feeding mothers, NCT etc) that will come out to your home and check everything is OK for free (I didn't realise this first time round and wish I had phoned them)? I didn't find feeding DS1 very enjoyable but feeding DS2 has been different, still hard work and tiring but between the four and six month stage it became so much easier and we are still feeding (10 1/2 months), I just cannot contemplate getting up in the mornings to make bottles.

lucy123 · 20/04/2003 17:16

edgarcat - good on you.

keep remembering that bottles/formula are a complete pain in the a*se - it's not fun trying to sterilise one quickly and then wait for the water to cool when you have a screaming baby. And breast-fed babies don't suffer from wind so much (so more peace for you)...

judetheobscure · 20/04/2003 18:00

Why do you hate breastfeeding? Is it just the pain or are there other factors involved? If it's "just" the pain (and believe you me, I do know how painful it can be), you should be seeing some improvement in the next couple of weeks, as long as there are no underlying problems (latch, thrush, mastitis etc.)

If you really do want to stick it out, I second mears suggestion of reading jasper's thread.

Or perhaps consider mixed feeding.

But if you do decide to give up, congratulate yourself on having done your 4 weeks; every little helps.

pupuce · 20/04/2003 18:46

There isn'tr much I can add to what has been said... well done for doing it if you hate it so much but if you feel you will be happier bottle feeding than do. Would you consider expressing?
As for solids... it's more like minimum 16 weeks of age (4 months old not before and preferably closer to 6 months)

Good luck.... but do get support if you need it ! (Especially if it is painful!)

Original poster
edgarcat · 20/04/2003 19:00

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edgarcat · 20/04/2003 19:02

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jasper · 20/04/2003 20:07

Edgarcat, I know exactly how you feel.
Limited success breastfeeding number one, not much success with number two, and came on mumsnet to ask for help with number three. There is a huge thread on it
here
I got lots of encouragement and advice. After about ten weeks of hating every minute of it it started not to be painful and eventually I came to realise what everyone was on about re. cosy snuggly moments breastfeeding your baby! ( I had previously thought those who enjoyed breastfeeding were harmless but slightly mad individuals)
I went on to breastfeed him fully ( no other solids or liquids) for six months and am still feeding him 2 or 3 times a day at 13 months.

So beware,like me you may even end up enjoying it

Gem13 · 20/04/2003 21:27

Well done edgarcat. I can't imagine how you keep going. I was very definite I was going to BF before I had DS but if I hadn't been so determined and loud about it I would've been very tempted to have given up ages ago. But my own goalposts kept moving further away.

I've gone through various stages, thrush, blocked nipples, etc.... but at the end of the day when DS is tired it is great to give him a feed and have him all warm and milky and cuddly.

He's 9 months now (only 3 months until we can start feeding him cow's milk ) but I will still keep up with at least the bedtime feed and probably the breakfast one too.

doormat · 20/04/2003 23:04

i also tried bf my dd2. I was really determined as I had bottle fed my dd1. Also I think it was pressure by the medical profession that breast is best etc. I bf for 3 days and had mastitis. It hurt more than the birth so then I changed to formula. I really felt guilty at the time but got over it (as we women do) She is 17 now and towers over me.I congratulate any one who bfs but some women are just not able to do it. We should not be made to feel guilty.

cathncait · 21/04/2003 02:03

Hi edgarcat. Good on you for not giving up! Its so hard in tghe first few weks isn;t it. I also had problems with cracked nipples, thrush, pain etc. Every time something went wrong - especially the thrush - i wanted to give up. The only reason I really hung in there was convienience and money! But we're 8 1/2 months on now and still going. Try not to get too frustrated , you're obviously doing a great job! - if you do decide to give it a miss then don't feel bad, do whats right for you!

Original poster
edgarcat · 21/04/2003 12:04

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Hughsie · 21/04/2003 17:20

Hi edgarcat - I can simpathise and sometimes resent the bf - ds2 is 7 weeks now and I convince myself that bfeeding is better than having to do bottles in the middle of the night but I do dread the feeds sometimes. I think in my case it is due to the fact that I have to do it and cant pass him over or because i am likely to have to expose myself in front of family and friends. ds2 is very windy/colicky so he is a bit grizzly between feeds and the feeding time is often the quiet time for dh and me! I bf ds1 for 7.5 months although in the end we substituted a couple of feeds with a bottle and do give ds2 a bottle last thing at the moment get him used to formula and a bottle teat.
I like you do not feel like the woman on the box and sometimes think I'm missing some magical bonding - however that said there are some lovely moments when he looks up at you and you feel all gooey - or is that the milk leaking!

Stick with it - I think I will at least until the solids come along - I found it strange bfeeding when I was also feeding solids and introduced a lunchtime bottle at 5 months so I only ended up feeding ds1 morning and evening - it worked for me and meant the supply was always there if he needed comfort.

Good luck

Hughsie · 21/04/2003 18:20

Edgarcat - I agree about the cost of the horrible feeding bras and I too will forget this for my birthday on the 11th May - a fellow taurean!

Original poster
edgarcat · 21/04/2003 18:43

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edgarcat · 21/04/2003 18:50

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Hughsie · 21/04/2003 18:54

Definitely not! I remember that ds1 was difficult to bf once he was being weaned as he was always looking around and coming on and off as he pleased when he was distracted by something - this was fine when we were at home but most embarassing while we were out!

judetheobscure · 21/04/2003 20:03

edgarcat - you've reminded me of one of the worst things about bf (apart from the pain) - yeeeeurggghhh!

Original poster
edgarcat · 21/04/2003 20:20

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Hughsie · 22/04/2003 09:11

Good morning - 'm a bit more pro this morning too as ds2 slept until 4.45 so I feel positively refreshed! Unfortunately I then fede him on my side in the hope of getting that precious half hour extra and he was sort of half off so a bit sore - oops!

I'm a kamillosan person myself - well I was last time but I haven't really bothered this time so much

Original poster
edgarcat · 22/04/2003 09:34

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