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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

834 replies

lilysma · 01/02/2009 11:14

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

OP posts:
WoTmania · 15/08/2009 11:24

Elliemama.
YOu might be getting 'anovulatory' periods or there are loads of other factors thhat can affect fertility.

www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html#achieve

IIRC BF shouldn't interfere with a pregnancy once it occurs. (certainly hasn't twice in my case).
HTH

Herbiethecat · 15/08/2009 17:25

Hi all,

Just wanted to say hello. DD is 4.2 and has been stopping bfing slowly over the past 6 months or so. Now it's every 2-3 days just in the morning, when she comes in to bed for a snuggle, though she upped it when DH started working away in the week recently.

I don't tell people IRL and of course they've long stopped asking.

Nice to see others who are still going.

Babieseverywhere · 15/08/2009 17:40

Herbiethecat, How lovely to hear about your daughter nursing at 4.2 years old...awwww

How do you feel about her weaning ? Sounds very bitter sweet.

Herbiethecat · 15/08/2009 18:45

I'm pleased she's weaning - like others on this thread I did wonder if it'd ever happen.

I've not been sad about it - because it feels like a job well done. It feels rather like finishing a painting or a crochet project or similar. You enjoyed doing it but there's a rightness in finishing and you have the finished product to admire

She's a one and only, was a 'high need' baby/'spirited' child, and used to be very intolerant of both cow's milk and soya. So maybe partly why she's wanted 'side' for so long.

I'm especially pleased as we had a very difficult start and used formula too under (probably poor, with hindsight) medical advice for some weeks.

Elliemama · 15/08/2009 19:10

Thank you Wotmania, I've been doing research on internet but had forgotten about kellymom so thanks for the link!!

picklemumma · 16/08/2009 00:25

Can I join in? Am bf my son, now 21 months. Had a lot of trouble to start with, so amazed to have made it this long, but can't see that he's likley to want to stop in the near future. Have currently managed to get him back to sleep at night without a feed, which I NEVER thought possible, but he has also started sleeping longer, maybe as a consequence, maybe a coincidence? During the day is quite keen to just 'peck' at me, plunging down my top and swapping sides one minute and the next, which is a trifle hard to manage if out in public! Does this happen to anyone else? However, am increasingly past caring what any one else things and threads like this are a great support, so thanks to you all

mawbroon · 16/08/2009 14:50

Hi pickle. Your ds is at the classic age for the bobbing from one side to the other. It's bloody annoying, but they do tend to get over it after a while. I believe they have figured out by this time that swapping sides gets them more milk, and that's why they do it....

Well done on managing to get him to sleep longer at night. My ds only started to cope with this at easter time when he was 3.5yo and his sleeping is pretty good now. Ah, bliss..

picklemumma · 18/08/2009 22:43

Thanks for that mawbroon. Has also now started squeezing my nipples to check the milk situation. Again, whilst mildy amusing at home, I think this may be a bit much for even the most broad minded viewer in the wider world!

PrettyCandles · 18/08/2009 22:52

We call that 'drive-by' or 'hijacks', depending on the technique the little monster darling uses.

You may find he's old enough by now to learn feeding manners. About this age I started refusing to let ds2 feed as soon as he asked if it was not convenient for me. I would tell him, not right now, we will go and find a nice place to sit/after we've finished shopping/in a moment/etc. It does settle down, with a bit of self-discipline.

Nipples are very definitely off-limits except for actual suckling! Twiddle, flick, squeeze, pull, ow, ow, ow (mum) giggle giggle giggle (ds2). Nope.

Well done with the sleeping - definetly connected to not feeding back to sleep.

mybabywakesupsinging · 18/08/2009 22:54

I am here to sign off...ds2 has decided that he now has a cup of fruit juice instead...(never did really take to milk in cups).
He is 27 months.
Herbiethecat put the feelig rather nicely. We both enjoyed it, but my baby is growing up - he wants to be like big brother ds1 - and moving on. And since he is absolutely loving that process - running, talking, all those new things, I am watching this beautiful happy little boy now.
But I will remember him standing in his pyjamas and enormous night nappy saying "time mummy milk" when he wanted his bedtime feed...very cute...

picklemumma · 19/08/2009 23:04

awww! Good luck mybabywakesupsinging, and well done!

BouncingTurtle · 20/08/2009 08:27

Well done mybabywakesupsinging!!

WoTmania · 20/08/2009 09:16

aww my babywakesup. Bittersweet I expect.

mawbroon · 20/08/2009 20:32

Well done mybabywakesupsinging. I guess it must feel like the end of an era. I know that I will feel sad when ds stops, even though he's nearly four.

But I am a sap that way. He went back to nursery this morning, and after spending the whole summer virtually 24/7 together, I felt really sad dropping him off. I'll just blame it on the pg hormones!!

BouncingTurtle · 21/08/2009 13:32

Mawbroon - aww!

Ds is 20 months and he is still feeding 2-3 times a night, please tell me I am not alone in this!!

mawbroon · 21/08/2009 13:50

I don't remember exactly how often ds was feeding in the night at 20months BouncingTurtle, but I didn't stop night feeds until he was 3.5yo.

And it was definitely me that stopped the night feeds. I get the feeling he would still be night feeding now if I had left him to it.

This time, he was ready though. Previous attempts, he wasn't, so it was easier than I had expected.

Sassyfrassy · 21/08/2009 17:00

I thought I'd join the thread. My dd2, Katie is now 1, so in my head and certainly in dh's head we're now on to extended breastfeeding. I'm returning to work in two weeks but plan on letting her breastfeed in the mornings and evenings if she wants. She's a total boob monster and I can't see her wanting to stop anytime soon. My dh unfortunately feels that it's starting to get weird feeding her and hates the idea that she might soon be able to use words to ask for a feed. I've tried all sorts of information to persuade him that it's fine. I trained as a bf peer supporter a while ago so have access to lots of information. He doesnt buy it though and I've ended up just telling him that we'll stop breastfeeding when we're ready to and not any sooner.

mawbroon · 21/08/2009 20:33

Oh, what is it with DHs? Mine seems to like EBF when it suits him eg when he doesn't have to deal with a tantrum, or get up in the night, but moans about it at other times.

I told mine that going on about it was only going to make me angry, not going to make me stop, so he might as well not bother.

Will he read any of the material that you have access to? Or is his mind completely closed to it?

BouncingTurtle · 21/08/2009 21:16

DH has made some vague murmurs, but I think he does understands. He said the other day when Ds was really upset about something about how good that he still gets comfort from my boobies.

But it is tiring never having a full night's sleep!

Thanks for the reassurance, Mawbroon.

I got invited to spend a day at the HQ of the client of the company I work with. However it involves a 2 night stay in Liverpool, other side of the country. I did offer to go if I could stay in Rochdale with my inlaws who could take care of Daniel for the day, but I would have to head back in the evening. But no, that wasn't good enough. But there is no way I am planning to leave my 20mo overnight, yes he will survive, but he would be really upset and it wouldn't be fair on DH who would have to deal with him - and still be functional for work the next day!

maygirl · 22/08/2009 00:37

I can't remember how many night feeds DS was having either at 20 mths bouncingturtle, but do remember him cutting down alot after back teeth through, probably around 2yrs. Is all a hazy memory now, only a year or so down the line!

kitkatqueen · 22/08/2009 11:29

Mybabywakesupsinging, You almost made me cry, had sudden flash of my girls asking for boob when they were little and realised Ds will stop sooner or later. I must write more stuff down its to easy to forget the lovely moments iykwim.

Sorry bit hormonal today. Waters broke yesterday and I'm threatened with induction tonite. Going for a long walk. Fingers crossed...

picklemumma · 22/08/2009 22:24

BouncingTurtle , I reckon that there is protection for Bf mothers under employment law, as there is for pregnancy - and it's not time limited. I had to check this out when I went back to work and my new boss tried to send me all over the place with no regard for my childcare committments. I'll post more info if I can trawl back through my memory, but have a check yourself, if you are employed and your employers are being unreasonable. Good luck!
Am facing having to leave my son overnight and then the next day as am now self-employed (I jacked the evil boss!)and cant really say no to the money. My son will be 22 months, but sleeps better at the mo and I have left him overnight occassionally with my parents - it's the length of time the next day I'm not happy about. He'll probably fare better than me!

PrettyCandles, thanks for you advice on working on manners, will try harder, though feel like I've been at this for over a year with little effect! I need to remember who is actually in charge!

mybabywakesupsinging · 23/08/2009 01:49

its been a different experience with ds2, ds1 got bored by about 12 months so he never talked about feeding...ds2 i was sort of wondering when he would decide to stop, but was leaving it up to him...
I always used to tell him that "there will always be more milk" when he was a baby, you see.
It really was a pleasure to feed ds2. He used to finish feeding, grin at you with milk on his chin and say, "was it nice? was it nummy?"

mybabywakesupsinging · 23/08/2009 01:53

Incidentally, I am pretty sure that DH wondering aloud when ds2 would stop feeding was one of the things that made him decide to stop. I don't mean that in a bad/cross way, but I do think he was listening...but would have ignored it if he hadn't been ready to stop in his own mind.

nappyaddict · 23/08/2009 03:00

mathananxiety and herbie how old were your children when they stopped feeding in public?

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