Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

And what happened to me being able to raise my son the way I want without having to listen to your shite.

you do as you please mawbroon its up to you at the end of the day you dont need to tell me that, but i am entitled to have my say on that particular thread so what!! Its not only for people in your life, its for things in general.

And look carefully at the title of this thread.

It is an extended feeding SUPPORT thread.

If you are not going to be supportive, then off you fuck.

piglet, your posts really stood out on that thread, very bitchy and unnecessary I felt.

Will do, whats with the bad language, surely you can express youself without swearing.

I understoon, that theread was meant to be for opnions and getting stuff off ones chest is it not. Some of the stuff on there are not exactly nice.

pigletmania, we have talked in a friendly way on a few threads and while I am not sure what you mean by "feeding your child when it should be weaned already" as I am nursing an almost three year old, I properly fall into a similar/same category.

mawbroon, Hard as it is, try to understand where pigletmania is coming from. She has had difficulties with nursing in the past and needs our support. You know how hard it can be at times ?

Hello everyone
I am still bf my DD and she is 14 months and I still love being able to do this with her!
She is eating solids during the day - not quite got the hang of eating bits of cumcumber, fruit as solid but I'm sure it will happen.
My question to all you experianced ebf's is this:
DD only has maybe 1 or 2 milk feeds during day, she has bf when she goes to bed at about half 6 but then she wakes every 2 hours for a feed. Byt the time it gets to 3am I'm shattered and bring her into our bed and then my DH moans because he can't sleep and 'He's got to work all day'. I also work f/t and have been struggling with her sleep/feed routine for a few months now.
I tried CC but she just screams herself into hysteria, I bought the No Cry book, but even just trying the No suck to sleep hasn't worked well so no chance of moving on to the next stages!
My DH is convinced that stopping bf is the only way she is going to sleep through however I strongly disagree as its her comfort as well as her feed and I simply cannot do that to her.
But then I wonder, am I so adament about not stopping bf because its easier? I enjoy it as a mother? She is probably our last baby so I know I feel really sad about the day that I know is coming where I will have to stop bf but 14 months isn't too old from reading all your fab posts on here!
I know I've got to get a grip and really implement no feeding back to sleep every time she wakes it just seems so hard when exhausted!
I know too that this will pass... feel better for just writing all this down.
Just not ready to hang me 'feeding boobs' up yet...

It's lovely isn't it at this age. Well done for getting this far.
FWIW A friend of mine was sure that weaning (at 18 months) would stop the night waking. 6 months later she was still up in the night for hours at a time because she had lost that soothing method for a very temperamental baby.
When we have most or all of the children turn up in bed DH goes and sleeps in the spare bed/on the sofa. If he is so lacking in sleep maybe your DH could do this a couple of nights a week.

Hi
My friend has asked me to post a Q as she does not have a pc.
She has reciently finished BB her son at 3.5 years but her DD who is 2.5 has lost interest. She has been really ill lately every time she tried to BB she screams. My friend is really upset as she wants to continue. Any ideas....
thanks.

Hammy - I stopped night feeding dd1 at about 14months because she was waking pretty much every hour for snacks, but am still feeding her morning and evening and she is 3.6 now, so you don't have to stop altogether if you don't want to, but I understand how hard it is to break that feeding to sleep habit when you're tired.

Is everyone planning to let their dc decide when to stop? I just can't imagine dd1 ever choosing to stop, she's so keen

I'm just seeing how it goes with DS2. Sometimes I hate nursing him but I feel he still needs it. Then we'll have a lovely feed and it's all good again.
I suppose we'll keep on until one of us decides its enough.

Thanks for the advice much appreciated!
I think I'll just camp out on her floor if she doesn't settle back down so DH doesn't get disrupted!
The only thing that is a pro as well as a con with bf is its very mummy dependant...DD only likes mummy to settle her at night so its pointless DH trying to help and when you've got a baby screaming at 3am the quickest way to get her quiet is booby!
Down to me I guess to stop this feeding to sleep pattern but not giving up the boob to do it...not yet anyway!
Thanks once again!!

Splishsplosh - How did you stop the night feeds with your little one?
Curious to know how other people acheive this with bf babies!
Still want to bf but just not every two hours!

I co-sleep while mine are little. Then they can help themselves as often as they like without disturbing me

Frequent nursing at night - common around 1 I think because things going on in the day are just sooooo exciting that why would one stop to refuel? It will pass, really. If you want to affect it, then lots of food in the evening might help, and a really good exhausting late afternoon (without flipping you all into the nightmare of a late nap, of course) might also help to zonk them for longer.

I truly truly believe, especially now I've had children of different varieties, that some children just are six-hours-at-a-time logs and others are startle-at-a-moth-going-by delicate souls. You can't turn a moth-startle one into a log by wishful thinking. You can, however, stick pins into clay models of all the beastly smug mothers of logs, and pray fervently that they get a moth-startle child as their #2

Stopping night feeds - I think it's like coming out of nappies at night -there's a moment when the child is ready and it's nbd.

Hammy - I only stopped night feeding my ds at easter time, he was around 3.6yo at that point. I had tried it beforehand, and after several difficult nights, he did manage to go without, and yes, he did sleep better, but he made up for it during the day feeding all the time, and he also became very stressed and tempremental. I took it from this that he wasn't ready to night wean, and as soon as we went back to it, he instantly went back to being the chilled out child he normally was.

This time round however, there were no knock on effects, so I assume he was ready. Now, he only wakes in the night if he needs a pee, and goes back to sleep in a matter of seconds once he is back in bed. He tries it on every time asking for milk in the night, but he knows now that he won't get it and seems ok with it.

DS sleeps in his own bed and generally goes around 8-5 (sometimes he goes back to sleep, other times the day starts somewhere around 5.30!)

I still feed him to sleep most of the time (but if he doesn't go to sleep during his post-bath feed or soon after, DH takes over and he generally falls asleep clutching DH's hand once he gets bored of not getting a reaction from his daddy! The settling method has no affect on how long he sleeps.

We got DS to drop feeds gradually by (when he was showing signs of not really drinking much at a particular feed) sending DH instead for cuddles. We had tantrums but it generally only took a few nights to get him to drop the feed, or at least move it further on.

I wouldn't say he's night weaned though as, if he's at all off-colour he goes back in the bedside cot (kept up for those emergencies) and/or our bed. When he's unhappy I'm so grateful to be able to soothe him easily

Anyway, my point for those with partners who want more sleep and think stopping BF will help that, tell them (if you want to) you'll give it a go, but they need to do the settling! It is bloody hard to get a baby or toddler to settle when they want milk, and its right there - generally right up against where they're being cuddled. Its mean, so I think its kindest to take the milk out of the equation by hiding mummy!

Extended breast feeding is hard sometimes, it can be frustrating but also amazingly comforting and soothing - for Mummy and child - and its really hard to go through life not being able to make a single complaint or even a comment that isn't totally positive about something that is a big part of your life without knowing that someone who does not agree with what you are doing is going to jump straight down your throat and tell you to stop. So people like pigletmania - please don't come back to this thread. This is for support and practical help, not questioning and criticism!

Hammy
I was co-sleeping with dd1 at that time, and din't have a cot up - when she woke in the night, I used to put her in the buggy, and sit rocking it to and fro with my feet, singing twinkle twinkle little start to her until she fell back asleep (this could take over an hour though) - she then slept til morning. After about a week the cot was up, she went into it the first night, rolled over and slept for 12 hours solid, and has been a good sleeper ever since - she has the odd night when she wakes & takes ages to go back to sleep, but that's rare. That was the way I did it becuase I didn't want to leave her crying, but neither could I go on with the disturbed nights - even though we co-slept, I did wake when she wanted milk, I just felt like I barely slept.

I co-sleep with dd2 at the moment, who is 10 months old tomorrow, and she is less of a boobaholic I think - we've had a few shocking nights but generally she'll only wake once or twice.. but who knows when that will change!

Anyway - definitely agree with trying sending the man in to settle - if they know milk isn't available, more likely to accept that there's no point keeping on crying for it. Sadly I've never had this option, when their dad was around he never settled them in the night

Dreamergirl, If your friends child is upset when the breast is offered it might be a nursing strike. Maybe you could print off the following pages off Kellymom and see if it sounds familiar.

Maybe she might like to ring one of the breastfeeding support lines and talk through her options. Try Hunkers blog for the numbers

HTH

OK my ds is an absolute mimi (his word) holic. Drives me mad. Did have him on twice a day (over 18months ago) but fell ill, not serious, then demands mimis whenever he wants.

He is 3.5 years. Mil does not approve and I have actually told her he stopped feeding a long while ago but he very occassionaly asks fo mimis and she then questions us on what mimis is. He also asks for mimis when we're in company.

I actually would like to wean, whereas once upon a time I would ahve liked to allow him to self wean. Have heard of the don;t refuse and don't offer. Actually NEVER offer but often refuse and try to distact usually works but not always. Oh hell, is there something I can eat that will put him off? Maybe this is not the thread to ask?

Having said all that, oh God, tis driving me mad but what with the swine flu, this would be stupid. Was even thinking of pumping and giving the milk to rest of fmaily but suppose wouln;t be effectove if I wasn't infected? Bugger.

OK my ds is an absolute mimi (his word) holic. Drives me mad. Did have him on twice a day (over 18months ago) but fell ill, not serious, then demands mimis whenever he wants.

He is 3.5 years. Mil does not approve and I have actually told her he stopped feeding a long while ago but he very occassionaly asks fo mimis and she then questions us on what mimis is. He also asks for mimis when we're in company.

I actually would like to wean, whereas once upon a time I would ahve liked to allow him to self wean. Have heard of the don;t refuse and don't offer. Actually NEVER offer but often refuse and try to distact usually works but not always. Oh hell, is there something I can eat that will put him off? Maybe this is not the thread to ask?

Having said all that, oh God, tis driving me mad but what with the swine flu, this would be stupid. Was even thinking of pumping and giving the milk to rest of fmaily but suppose wouln;t be effectove if I wasn't infected? Bugger.

Hammy, with my DS I have just seen a gradual change in his behaviour and although I tried to implement some of the ideas in the NCSS and tips I read on here, I really think the decision to cut down feeding has been his and there hasn't been much I could do to influence it.

There was a point when he was getting his eye teeth through that the feeding felt like it was constant and it was getting me down a bit, but around when he hit 2 it was like we just turned corner. He stopped feeding to sleep and although I lie with him and cuddle him, he will have a bf and then I can ask him if he wants 'cuddle time' and he will stop and drift off (still takes a bloody long time tho!).

We have also always co-slept, though he starts the night in his own bed. Recently though he has started complaining when I try to take him into my bed and tells me 'No, my bed!!'. I was wondering how I would ever get him to stay in his own bed (espec as I am pg so kind of needed the space...) and its just happened naturally.

I think in the past I was really impatient for these things to happen but now I just go with the flow and I'm convinced now there's not much I can do about it - he'll just change things in his own good time.

My ds is one today. May i join yet or do we not count til we start getting raised eyebrows in public? {grin].