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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

834 replies

lilysma · 01/02/2009 11:14

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

OP posts:
jumblies · 17/06/2009 21:01

liahgen Can you try charting your temps to see if you are ovulating and how long your luteal phase is, then if you find you are not fertile at the moment you could then think about stopping the breastfeeding.

I conceived this pregnancy accidentally (am 13 weeks) whilst breastfeeding DD but we don't do night feeds anymore so I'm sure that has something to do with it as she still feeds fairly frequently in the daytime.

Awen DD likes to swap between the two. She samples each one twice before she settles down.

Wotmania I had a homebirth with DD and am hoping for another. Am hoping it will also make things easier for DD meaning I don't have to stay in hospital overnight. Also hope that labour kicks off whilst she is alseep so that we don't need babysitters

MamaMaiasaura · 17/06/2009 21:41

nappyaddict - Yes public feeding is sometimes.. er very public Glad ds2 is not unique in this though. Is a real pain to decide which one he gets on the next feed though. Good tip on both out with cardigan/shawl. Would save a lot of faffing.

Bouncing - Hi stranger!! Yes i think it is a few days between, 27th Dec here. I have been very crap with the post natal threads. THey seem to have so many posts to fast i cant keep up. I am also a poor mumsnetter atm as lots of rl things keep cropping up.. mostly about 88cm's high and very active HOw are you doing and your ds? They are so funny arent they? Samuel into EVERYTHING

Liahgen - I have just stopped fertility treatment because the consultant said I cant have certain medication whilst bfeeding. A real dilemma but instincts tell me to keep bfing ds till he;s ready to stop. If we're lucky we may fall whilst i am still feeding, but we may not. THere is no guarantee either for us that we would if i stopped feeding so we are keeping it up. Feel like a great weight was lifted when i made decision. THe book Mothering your nursing toddler helped too.

Chairmum - Ds2 also is a nipple twiddler, fiddler and puller (thankfully not a biter). He doesnt always do it but when he is in a fiddling mood i try to divery, but not always successfully!

Mawbroom - So he's after more milk! LIttle piglet i have then Todays naptime started at 10 and went on till 12.30! Had lots of milk during too. He woke up milk drunk grabbed beaker of water took a swig and then put beaker in my mouth! haha. Funny boy.

Jumblies - at the sampling. That is what it feels like too! Congratulations on pregnancy

mawbroon · 17/06/2009 22:52

Chairmum - don't you worry! There's plenty time for yours to get into the boob bobbing! I remember ds doing it loads when we moved house (this is the only way I have of gaguing his age at the time!!) and he was 19 months when we moved and he did it for a while after that, so you might not have escaped it yet.

liaghen - I am another one who hasn't been able to conceive when breastfeeding. We have recently dropped night feeds, so are doing morning/bedtime and a couple of times through the day, but still no joy. I have a short luteal phase, but it is now just borderline, so hoping for a BFP soon. I have been ttc for 2.5yrs now, but I feel that DS needs it too much just now to force him to give up. I've moaned about this already on the thread so if you have read this from me already, then my apologies!

I have been introducing the idea of a weaning party to ds, but he's not for it. He says he will feed until he is ten. He probably bloody would too....

lilysma · 18/06/2009 21:09

Sorry for the delay in getting back on this thread to answer a couple of questions

nappyaddict dd is definitely not weaned . The second thing she said after I walked in the door (after, 'mummy, you're back!') was 'I want some mummy milk'! But weaning wasn't the goal, so I would probably have been a bit upset if it had happened TBH

ommmward interestingly I didn't have anything like porn star boobs - nothing unusual at all actually. Not sure what this means - maybe they're just used to changes in demand (e.g. when she's at nursery compared to days off with me).

DD has been saying 'that one's not working' about either boob at random times for quite a while now, and bobbing to the other one. Not really sure what she means and have often wondered if my supply is dwindling, but the demand is certainly high at times and she is obviously getting something most of the time. Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
lilysma · 18/06/2009 21:11

ps welcome awen and liahgen

i love it that there are so many of us

OP posts:
mawbroon · 18/06/2009 21:44

I have a little ray of light today re ttc. My luteal phase has been pitifully short, but today is day 13 of my LP this cycle.

So, either I am pg (too early to test) or if not, then at least my LP is coming into the realms of normal.

I will ask ds tomorrow if my milk tastes funny.

TreeTrunkThighs · 18/06/2009 22:19

Can I join in please?!

I keep thinking that DD2 is going to wean any day but no sign so I'll bite the bullet and declare myself!

DD1 self-weaned at 13 months. DD2 is 20 months today and enjoys her 'boobles' very much. DH and MIL and various friends are making noises about us stopping soon so this thread will be just the tonic.

Will have a thorough read through tomorrow.

maygirl · 18/06/2009 22:24

Fingers crossed mawbroon!

I'm 8 weeks and DS says milk still tastes nice though! Though I have noticed he's not always drinking as vigourously as used to, having really long pauses of not doing anything, have to remind him to get going again, so I wonder if its not quite as good anymore!

Used to swop sides alot, that seems to have calmed down too.

FairyLightsForever · 18/06/2009 22:39

Keeping fingers crossed for you here too, Mawbroon!
Lilysma, my DD is like that too- if she's been out without me for the day, or overnight, she almost throws herself at me the minute she's through the door!
DD's a twiddler, I used to try and stop her, especially in public, but I'm so used to it that I often don't even notice

WoTmania · 19/06/2009 11:28

junblies
I found with DS2 and DD labour started when older children were in bed. They just came in and there was a baby. It's a really nice way to do it.

BouncingTurtle · 19/06/2009 12:20

I took ds swimming for the first time since last summer. I need to get a new swimsuit though, as he almost managed to cause me to flash by pulling on the straps!

Awen - yes they are so cute and funny - oh and Samuel & Daniel share the same birthday! Daniel is obsessed with cars, pointing at them whenever he sees them , shouting CAR!!

lilysma · 28/06/2009 10:45

Hi everyone, things have gone quiet for a while, have we all been enjoying some sunshine?

Just wanted a bit of support really. DD has been demanding bf a lot recently and its been getting me down on and off. Last week part of that was PMT I think - I got very cross with DD at a toddler group 'cos all she wanted to do was bf and had I a little tantrum (need a shame emoticon). I don't really want to stop, as she loves it so much, but sometimes I just want a rest from it! I start feeling 'touched out'. All the books say try distraction, but I find that at times she gets easily overwhelmed when out and about and ends up demanding bf. Trying distraction at home works for a while, but the demands inevitably come...

I think I need a better way into understanding her needs really - it is difficult when other kids around are not asking for bf because us 'natural termers' are in the extreme minority and I end up thinking 'why can't she just play like them'? which isn't fair on her at all. What a muddle . I know there aren't any easy answers...

OP posts:
mawbroon · 28/06/2009 14:28

liilysma - I forget how old your dd is, but I used to find (and still do) that a quick bf was like a reset button for my ds, and distraction only delayed things for him. I know what you mean about being the only one feeding though, sometimes it's like "noooo... don't ask me here" but I just used to do and never had any negativity at all.

I even fed ds on his nursery trip last week. They mistakenly gave him cake with egg in it (the mums had been sent to another room, so I couldn't have prevented it) and when I told ds that it had egg in it, he burst into tears and started shaking. I think I have drummed his allergy into him so much that he thought he was going to die or something!!! but a quick breastfeed and he was fine. We started off feeding in quiet room, but then it ended up that the whole bloody nursery came back through and they all saw ds feeding. Not one person said anything, but they didn't need to - their faces said it all! I don't care though, DS needed it very much at that time which is more important than a few nursery mummies who might think me odd.

Anyway, looks like his allergy is on the way out. He had a tiny bit of cake, piriton straight away and no reaction, so either he didn't eat enough to react, or the piriton stopped a reaction, or there was no reaction at all. No harm done.

So, I am now 5wks pregnant. hooray. I am not getting too excited after I miscarried last year, but since ds has stopped night feeding, it seems to have done the trick. He says that my milk is delicious, and always is, so I reckon he's either not fussy, or there is no change in my milk yet.......

CantSleepWontSleep · 28/06/2009 15:01

Mawbroon . Is this your announcement, or have I missed one? Huge congratulations. Am hoping that this one is a keeper for you.

mawbroon · 28/06/2009 15:04

Thanks CantSleepWontSleep. I was on a few threads under a different name for a wee while, but it's too confusing, and I can't be arsed trying to keep it a secret anyway!

Due at end Feb/beginning March if this one makes it.

mrsgamp · 28/06/2009 15:10

Mawbroon, congratulations, wonderful news!! All the very best with this pregnancy.

Lilysma, don't feel guilty about getting frustrated with your DD, especially if you were feeling hormonal. I am feeding through pregnancy for the second time and have experienced what feels like claustrophobia many times. I agree with mawbroon, that distraction is sometimes only very temporary - if effective at all! - and that a quick feed is often the only solution, but, I'm assuming like yourself, I haven't really breastfed in public for a long time! My DD is 3.5 and my DS 20 months - TreeTrunk my DS was 20 months on the 16th, aren't they adorable/trouble at this age?! - and they have yet to be deterred by my declining them on occasions!

Miamla · 28/06/2009 15:34

my DS is only 11mths and I'm already getting tuts from a friend and mil's mil

is there a good retort to "you're not still feeding him are you?!"

Wonderstuff · 28/06/2009 15:34

Congratulations Mawbroon

God I had forgotton about this thread, was one I intended to add to but don't think I ever got round to and just 'lurked' for a while. DD is 20 months and loves her milk. I normally don't feed in public anymore, I feel self conscious. Never worried about it when she was tiny and permanently attached to me (so it felt) but now feel people will judge, don't know why I care, but anyway. Was really brave last week and fed her on the train and on the tube. No one raised an eyebrow, don't know why I was so worried. I never know whether to give in to her when she starts putting her hands down my top or make her wait. I don't want to make other people uncomfortable,

mawbroon · 28/06/2009 16:01

The way I see it is that if nobody feeds out and about then it will never become an accepted, so I might as well do my bit in breaking the mould.

It makes me sound like I am really tough, but really I'm not!! I just don't like the idea of ds having to be distressed in case other people might be offended. He sometimes pulls at my top so much that folk would get more of an eyeful if I didn't just settle down and feed him!

flockwallpaper · 28/06/2009 17:14

Hello, can I join you too? My DS is 19 months and showing no signs of giving up BF. Heartened to hear that there are so many of us.

Wonderstuff · 28/06/2009 19:52

I know you're right mawbroon, and that is how it was on the train, sight of a toddler pawing at me much worse than bfing. Really is nowhere to hide on the tube!

I am proud to still be bfing because I feel it is right for my dd, but I also feel a little envious of the mums whose babies don't reach down their tops to try to forcebly remove their boobs when they fancy a cuddle

curlyredhead · 28/06/2009 20:06

I have been lurking on this thread for a while, finally managing to say hello! I have dts who are 13 months and going very strong with bf - was funny yesterday when we were at a friends house and each of mine fed about twice as often as her four month old.... Also have a 4.5 dd who still has the occasional feed at bedtime - for the first time, though, I've been refusing to feed her as I think it's now not adding positively to our lives. I'm feeling resentful of feeding her, I started feeling uncomfortable and irritable feeding her whilst I was pg and that has carried on till now, even though feeding the babies is fine.

I fed dd1 out and abou happily till sehwas about two - after that I tended to delay her till somewhere more private - esp because she liked to get my other boob out, not v subtle. Am feeling strangely ambivalent about feeding dts out and about already - I think maybe because some people don't bf twins at all and I've had people commenting on my bf them since day one it feels more of a 'statement' or something than feeding one did. Need to get me to a LLL meeting I think...

Cautious congrats mawbroon, will keep everything crossed for you.

curlyredhead · 28/06/2009 20:09

aboutshe was

Must remember to preview....

mrsgamp · 28/06/2009 20:35

Hello curly! Can I ask, did you triandem feed more frequently when your DTs were first born? Pretty amazing if you did: adding an extra one every couple of years is one thing, but suddenly feeding an extra two sounds harder work, although perhaps it made things easier with regards to allocation? I'm pregnant and tandem nursing my DD,3 and DS,20 months - they're still keen so I imagine we'll have to establish a 'pecking' (sucking!) order if they're both still b/f when the new baby comes along!

With regards to feeding in public, I really do feel the sight of my two hanging off my boobs would be a sight too far for most unsuspecting people!

curlyredhead · 28/06/2009 21:51

Dd1 was mainly down to morning and evening by the time the babies arrived - I nightweaned while I was pg, and she had been cutting down during the day before that anyway. Once they were here - I delayed any requests during the day till bedtime - basically, I wouldn't feed her if one of the babies was feeding and most of the time both of them were if one was (iyswim!). With two newborns to feed, I was scared that my feelings of ambivalence towards feeding dd1 would transfer to feeding the babies if I fed a big girl and little girl at the same time. Dd1 had got used to my boobs hurting during pg, so I told her that it would be really uncomfy to feed her and a baby at the same time, but she could definitely feed at bedtime. Over the last year she has hugely cut down even her bedtime feeds - has done weeks at a time without any, but then has started asking agian.

How is it going for you - are you finding feeding during pg ok just now? How many weeks are you?

My feelings about feeding out and about are even about feeding one twin at a time - I have never really fed both outside my/friends/family homes as I really don't feel comfortable with that level of undress! But even just one at a time now is feeling like something I have to be brave about... which seems a bit nuts, really!