i can't go on with breast feeding, it's been 16 WEEKS now and there's still no click and she's STILL TINY

[Aitch]

i saw a wee three week old baby the other day, just feeding and feeding. no clawing, no grabbing at the breast and yanking it out of her mouth, no unlatching, just chomp chomp om nom nom thanks mum. and it made me cry.

so i think i might have to jack it in.

onebat, i go to this bfing clinic thing, they have declared everything okay because the little toad feeds well there. but the thing is that i DO have distractions here, i can't get all monastic for a feed when i have a toddler here. plus, i have to work... moan chizz moan.

Did you try osteopathy and/or different positions?
It must be sooo draining.I struggled for 8 weeks and it was pure misery.

cranial osteo declares her delightful. am on domperidone, stink of fenugreek, drink water, no tongue tie, there is NO REASON for this. other than my crap supply, i think. and her patience for it just seems to have worn thin this week.

Then you need to take action. I am reading that she is a sleepy baby? Snacky feeds? or just short and then sound asleep for hours?

I have had a long night but I will help if I can.....

Is she windy?

Colic?

Lazy feeder?

What position does she feed in?

Are your boobs particularly big or small?

Peruse Pixie's web if for nothing else then a possible medical reason for your issues.

Decision is yours. Fuck me,you deserve a medal.

Aitch YOU are not shit at this - you know that don't you. Last time it was your medication, this time you have a premature baby. You are very unlucky, but you are NOT shit.

I think I understand where you are coming from, that you desperately wanted it to work out this time after what happened last time. If and when it comes to it I will feel exactly the same way, and god willing I am as determined and brave as you.

Your DD's behaviour sounds so like DS I'm thinking you really should double check the tongue tie thing. Although I know it's possible that I am projecting all our problems onto tongue tie which may have been unrelated.

Aitch, you are not "shit at this" - breastfeeding can be damn bloody hard!!

I would second onebat and get a bf counsellor round to your home to see how feeding goes - they need to see you in your own environment. It could be a simple positioning issue, or they may be ablet o suggest a technique that will stop her from becoming distracted.

If you chose to switch to formula there is no shame in that! Your dd will do great and you've given her a wonderful start.

How long? I honestly don't know... I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that. I was on domperidone for about 16 weeks from memory (though 9 of those I was gradually reducing the dose). Each situation is different, though. Prematurity brings its own challenges.

Are you doing breast compressions? I found that really helpful for keeping ds going on one side. Are you doing lots of skin-to-skin?

I can imagine that with a toddler it must be very tough, as you can't focus all your attention on solely feeding the baby. Have you got anyone who can help you?

If the people at the bf group aren't finding any changes to suggest, is there anyone else local you can try to see if they have different suggestions? what about an independent lactation consultant or one of the other voluntary orgs?

The other thing to remember is that introdcuing some formula does not mean you have to give up bf if you don't want to.

It did work out though.16 weeks of b/feeding is a success whatever happens next.

Ah, x posted. Well I think it's good that there's no tongue tie - that's one less problem eh? I don't know what to suggest really. How much formula is she getting at the moment?

Now I'm going to sound like a total loon saying this after everything you've posted - but are you sure it's lack of supply that's the issue? The pulling off etc sounds more like oversupply gush of milk in the mouth to me and that's why she switches sides and fusses. Stretching it further that might explain why she feeds better at the clinic - I assume that with people watching you are tense and that could inhibit your let-down? Have you tried pumping then feeding?

oh no, Aitch, monastic is impossible. I meant that the bf counsellor doesn't have distractions or others to take care of, and can jus sit and stare at your latch etc. And ask more in depth questions about timings etc, iyswim.

Moondog is so right - you need a big medal for so many things

BTW - top tip for late night feed marathons - a bar of green and blacks banana and a comedy on SKY+

Hi Aitch, just wanted to say that my DD is 16 weeks too, we got summoned to the GP yesterday to discuss her feeding as she was 7lb 3oz at birth and is now 11lb 2oz.

I've been giving formula in the evening for 2 days and suddenly she has put on 8ozs in 3 days, the little traitor!

I am so sure that breastfeeding is the right thing to do and fully intended to keep going etc. I have a 17 month old DS who I fed til 8 months, and 4 months of that I was pg with DD.

I can't understand what has happened this time, I'm trying to get my head round the formula thing but....well its hard isn't it?

I am still hoping that DD will just breastfeed tomorrow and I won't give formula.

Just wanted you to know that you are not alone

So 4lb 1oz to 7.5lb in 16 weeks, which is 3.5oz a week on average?

That's a perfectly good weight gain . And your paed's not worried, which is great.

You are doing really well, especially considering how tough you are finding it.

thank you all. lol at your treacherous son, stockingstuffer. i SWEAR i could see dd's cheeks get chubbier when she had that formula tonight.

i'll phone the bfc again on monday. don't know if she'll come out, tbh. plus it's fucking christmas, innit? and i phoned every charitable line going when she was born and NOT ONE OF THEM called me back.

and thank you for the good wishes, honestly, but i promise it's mostly self-interest on my part rather than heroics. with dd1 to contend with, it's been so easy to jam dd2 into the sling and rely on my tits to feed her. i truly, TRULY cannot be arsed with all the shite of getting bottles together again. been there and hated that.

am off to bathe and pump, farewell friends i go to glory.

and you know, whatever all this business of Moldies and MN and WHATEVER... this is the heart of all of it, that when you need help you shout out and ask for it... and back it comes with such kindness.

I don't have anything constructive to add. Just that I have been slowly failing to feed my premature baby since she was born. It's partly because the dr made me stick to max 15 mins breastfeeding then a nutriprem top up because she was losing so much weight, and that made me trust the bottle and not the breast because I thought the breast wasn't worth it. It's partly because I think she hasn't ever been good at getting anything out of the breast, or my let down is so slow she gets impatient. It's partly because my mum thinks it's a waste of time, and she's been helping me so much and I need her help, but when I breastfeed for more than half an hour she says it's not feeding her/she's using me as a dummy/I don't have much milk/she didn't have any problems like this, it can't be working for me. It's partly because this has made me lazy and selfish and at night feeds when she's refused the breast I've just thought 'f- it' and gone straight to the bottle. It's partly because my pump is buggered and the little white circle bit keeps popping through to the top after about 2 seconds pumping.

My baby is 4 weeks old and I have almost no milk now because I've as good as given up. And I feel horrible. Go on, give it another 2 weeks, and so will I. Just in case it gets better, and because there's no harm in keeping going.

lol lockets, were you going to say the same as grendle?

oh higgledy.

i really must go now as dh is grumbling but i'd love to keep going for another two weeks as that would get her to twelve weeks corrected. i'm just not sure i can, that's all. i'll come back on here tomorrow, though, perhaps in finer fettle. it's hard, isn't it? i'm sorry you're not getting the support. let's meet up in daylight, eh, maybe things'll seem easier?

oh. and you need a new pump. are there any in the sales?