I feel like everyone has lost faith in my breastfeeding, even me

[IwishIwasaStockingStuffer]

I'm feeling very alone and sad about this.

DD is 16 weeks and I have a DS 16 months, I breastfed DS til he was 8 months when I stopped as I had awful morning sickness.

I've breastfed DD exclusively up til now, but she hasn't been putting on enough weight and now only 2ozs in a fortnight, I was ok with her slow gain and felt very confident I was doing the right thing by coninuing to feed her.

The HV and GP are wanting to weigh her every week which I think is too much.

She is contented and happy, always smiling and engaging with us and she sleeps through.

The GP has now phoned me at home and has summoned DP and I to the surgery tommorrow afternoon to discuss our options. She says I have to take DP so he has taken time off work.

DP and I had such a huge argument about it all, he has always been supportive of me breastfeeding until now, that I went out and bought formula and I'm now giving her 1-2 bottles a day.

Everyone is at me about it, now my Mum has started and I just feel like giving up and putting DD completely on formual even though I feel strongly that exclusive breastfeeding the right thing for her.

I'm so confused and upset.

Oh, you poor thing.

As I understand it, some BF babies put on weight at a different rate to others, and certainly not necessarily as much as FF babies. There's a WHO chart somewhere which shows this.

As long as she's well in herself, surely thar's the important thing.

You've done so well: don't give up now.

How is DD on the percentiles? Is she massivly dropping down them? Is 2oz in 2 weekss a tiny amount? I don't weigh DS (17 weeks) so am not sure

Oh no, why do these so called professionals worry us so much over something that is completely natural?

You haven't said any specific weights but as your dd is still gaining and sounds otherwise very happy and healthy then if you want to carry on bf then I would do just that.

Nobody can force you to change, and nobody can force you to attend any appointments (with your GP or HV) so if you don't want to go tomorrow, just cancel it and carry on bf your dd to demand.

There will be someone along soon with first hand experience of this I'm sure, but Good Luck with whatever you decide

The BFing curve is different from the red book version - WHO website has one.

DD started off on the 25th, she was 7lb3oz at birth but we still feel that this was wrong, she definitely felt lighter than that, about 6lbs7ozs maybe.

She gained rapidly in the first few weeks, she went up to the 50th and has slowly dropped and is now on the 2nd.

I know its not great but I honeslt feel that this is just how she is.

Her length is also on the 2nd so she is in proportion.

I really want to ask the HV to not come but don't want them thnking I have something to hide. And according to my mum you have to let them come or they will report you to social services.

I have nothing to hide, my children are well cared for and I was a nurse for over 10 years so its not like I don't have a clue.

Also DP is a doctor so surely they should trust our judgement.

Oh dear - sorry you're not getting any support about this.

How much did she weight at birth and how much does she weigh now?

If she is happy and content and putting on some weight I think your gut feeling to continue is the best option for you.

I'm amazed that you have been summoned to see your doc and hv. I think that the routine of weekly weigh-ins can make mums feel really insecure when you have a slow weight gain. I can remember getting worried when dd only put on an oz a week for about a month but then she put on about 6 oz in one week.

She'll soon be coming up to the 4 month growth spurt and will probably gain lots then

She weighs 11lb 2ozs now.

IMO if she is gaining (not losing) and is happy and content then you do not need to worry. My DS started on 25th centile and went down to 2nd before starting on solids. He put on just 6oz in five weeks between 17 and 22 weeks. He has put on about 4lb in eight weeks since starting solids!

Could you introduce an extra breastfeed somewhere eg at 10pm or in the middle of the night?

How often is she feeding?

She feeds 5-6 times a day, last feed at 11pm and first at 7am.

She does sleep all night and has done since she was 6 weeks. The HV felt that this was big problem.

The past 2 nights though she HAS wakened for a feed at 4am though.

I thought she was having a growth spurt as she has been asking for feeds more the past couple of days.

I really believed in breastfeeding but there is no support.

My Mum thinks she needs carrots

They can't bloody well summon youn in like a naughty child and order your dp to come too.FFS!
You need advice and support from a qualified breastfeeding counsellor.These are people who really understand breastfeeding which the vast majority of HVs and GPs don't (minimal training).

I'll link you to a very good breastfeeding site run by a lovely MNer. Names and contact details of all the breastfeeding organisation are listed on the right on the first page.

How breastfeeding workshttp://howbreastfeedingworks.com/2007/10/03/welcome-and-an-introduction-to-how-breastfeeding- works/

Here

IMO (no expert) I'd say that is fine. Sounds like the BFing 'way' - rapid gain then slows down. As soon as DS has done feeding ill hunt down the WHO chart. And link the kellymom site. She is gaining (not losing) and happy.

Your GP has no right at all to behave like this. Outrageous!! There is no need for your partner to be 'summoned'. Bloody cheek!
How much does your baby weigh anyway?

Sounds like my dd - although she started off at heavier and gained really quickly and I definitely remember her weight gain slowing down. She also slept through from about 6 weeks.

Maybe go to the meeting (if you feel strong enough) and explain that you are happy with her progress and will keep an eye on her weight gain over the next month and then review it.

Do you want to continue with mixed feeding?

www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/growthcharts.html

Forget the charts, forget the HV and GP, forget carrots , it sounds like your DD is doing fine. If YOU feel your DD is thriving then she probably is. Go to the meeting tomorrow and tell them you are happy with your daughter's progress and unless she starts to LOSE weight you will not be considering any other methods of feeding her.

Once she starts on solids she will pile it on. Until then she may only gain a few ounces a fortnight. Both my babies did the same.

' have heard of many breastfed babies (including my own) whose doctor was disturbed at some point because the baby wasn't gaining weight quickly enough, even though the baby was well within the above parameters for weight gain. The problem is that many doctors are not familiar with the normal weight gain patterns of breastfed babies, and rely too much upon standard growth charts.

Healthy breastfed infants tend to grow more rapidly than formula-fed infants in the first 2-3 months of life and less rapidly from 3 to 12 months. All growth charts available at this time include data from infants who were not exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months (includes formula-fed infants and those starting solids before the recommended 6 months). Because many doctors are not aware of this, they see the baby dropping in percentiles on the growth chart and often come to the faulty conclusion that the baby is not growing adequately. At this point they often recommend that the mother (unnecessarily) supplement with formula or solids, and sometimes recommend that they stop breastfeeding altogether. Even if mom realizes that her baby is perfectly healthy and doesn't follow these unnecessary recommendations, she ends up worrying for no reason (and moms don't need anything extra to worry about!).

The formula you are giving is only going to reduce your supply though.You need to know that.If you want her to est more, then breastfeed her more.
Consider waking her in the night to feed her too.

No doubt about it, this is a slow growth, but whether there is anything wrong is another issue.

However - 5-6 times feeding in 24 hours is not very often. It should be an easy matter to increase her intake If she still doesn't gain weight, then you will know it is physiological. Sleeping through? No worries if we have a bouncing bruiser, but she isn't - so if all we are worried about is calorie intake, and it seems that way, there are ample opps for increasing it with breastmilk by feeding her another 3 x in 24 hours, say, and using two, three or more breasts per session.

I don't see the point of using formula. Just give breastfeeds instead

Sounds to me like you and dd are doing really well with it.

She feeds 5-6 times a day, is contented and happy, always smiling and engaging with you. Sounds great!

This is an interesting article. I'd heard about catch-down growth, but - BIG disclaimer - I am not a health professional, and don't know about the quality of this particular research. However, it does suggest an interesting avenue to pursue for some people.

Charts irrelevant. OP's baby will look even lighter on different charts!

I know everyone wants to help - but this is not the place for people to cheerily reassure the OP there can't possibly be anything wrong and to ignore her GP's and HV's concerns as long as she feels all is well.

A happy baby who smiles a lot is not necessarily a baby who is growing appropriately.

She may be fine - but we cannot tell just from what the OP tells us!

This worries me about mumsnet in particular and talkboards in general. We cannot see this baby and we cannot diagnose this baby's wellness or otherwise.

All we can do is to support her, and suggest some questions for her to ask, and some avenues to explore.

OP - I hope all is well and that the only thing that's worrying them is her intake, as that is the easiest thing to fix

Do you think the baby feeding topics should have the same disclaimer as the health topics, tiktok? It seems analogous to me.

Good point, tiktok.

I hope the OP feels supported in her choice and desire to BF, but strong enough to seek solutions to any problems there may be.