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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I feel like everyone has lost faith in my breastfeeding, even me

71 replies

IwishIwasaStockingStuffer · 18/12/2008 13:23

I'm feeling very alone and sad about this.

DD is 16 weeks and I have a DS 16 months, I breastfed DS til he was 8 months when I stopped as I had awful morning sickness.

I've breastfed DD exclusively up til now, but she hasn't been putting on enough weight and now only 2ozs in a fortnight, I was ok with her slow gain and felt very confident I was doing the right thing by coninuing to feed her.

The HV and GP are wanting to weigh her every week which I think is too much.

She is contented and happy, always smiling and engaging with us and she sleeps through.

The GP has now phoned me at home and has summoned DP and I to the surgery tommorrow afternoon to discuss our options. She says I have to take DP so he has taken time off work.

DP and I had such a huge argument about it all, he has always been supportive of me breastfeeding until now, that I went out and bought formula and I'm now giving her 1-2 bottles a day.

Everyone is at me about it, now my Mum has started and I just feel like giving up and putting DD completely on formual even though I feel strongly that exclusive breastfeeding the right thing for her.

I'm so confused and upset.

OP posts:

lizzytee · 18/12/2008 15:43

Caffeine will not affect the quality or quantity of your milk - but some women find that their babies are less unsettled if they avoid caffeine.

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 15:44

Please stop blaming yourself!! I just wondered if she had some sort of lactose-related diarrhoea, which she doesn't from the sound of it. The odd coffee isn't going to be a make or break in this situation - it's likely to be developmental and a case of HV-induced anxiety. I reckon by mid January you will be looking back and wondering why they all made such a fuss.

Now have you told DP to cossett you over the next few days?? So you can cheer up a bit??

Also a hint for the appt tomorrow. Feed her as much as you can as late as you can before going in, so she weighs a bit more! Old NCT trick.

Alibear1 · 18/12/2008 15:45

I would stop with the formula and start offering both breasts at a feed (once she is well and truely done with the first one).

I know you feel - DS lost a lot of weight post birth because of feeding issues - was born on 75th and dropped to 9th. He was 5 weeks old before he came back to birth weight. I had awful pressure from the midwives and HV to supplement, fortunately my GP was very supportive and agreed I should tell them all to fuck off. He is now back on the 50th.

Do what you think is right. The slow gain is a concern but I would add breastfeeds as the first option before giving formula as that will only diminish your supply in the long run.

MissisBoot · 18/12/2008 17:59

Iwish - Have you thought about contacting HomeStart? A volunteer could give you a break a few hours a week - lots of them also have specialist work around PND.

neenztwinz · 18/12/2008 19:39

Just had a look at my DS's chart - he started just under the 50th centile, then dropped quite quickly to 25th, then ended up on 2nd at 21 weeks (at 16 weeks he was under the 9th).

I completely understand where you are coming from tiktok re. not being able to see the baby to make an assessment, but if the OP's HV wasn't worried but the OP was and came on these boards saying what she has said (that the baby is content, that the nappies are fine, but she has dropped from 25th to 2nd centile), would you think she needed intervention? I don't.

I think this is more likely to be an over-zealous HV than a non-thriving baby. But I think going to appts with HV and doc is the right thing to do. Is there someone in RL who supports your BFing and who can go with you?

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 21:23

HomeStart is a brilliant idea!

Original poster

IwishIwasaStockingStuffer · 18/12/2008 23:10

I'm in Scotland, I didn't think they had Homestart here.

I found a pack of nipple sheilds tonight, I know they are not ideal but I put them on and DD fed like a dream, took both sides calmly with no fussing, wind etc.

I've spoken to DP and told him the things I want to cover in the GP appointment tomorrow, he is happy to stick up for me, so hopefully it will be ok, fingers crossed.

OP posts:

tiktok · 18/12/2008 23:46

Stocking - good to know your DP will support you.

Please think again about the shields. They can reduce the availability of milk and impact on supply.

Not a great idea.

You say she fed without fuss, but in your earlier post you reported that her fussiness was lessening anyway....I honestly don;t think the shields are necessary or helpful

Hope all goes well tomorrow

Original poster

IwishIwasaStockingStuffer · 18/12/2008 23:49

It was lessening, I think its my confidence that is lessening too.

After we get tomorrow out of the way hopefully I can relax.

Thanks for all the support by the way, it is very much appreciated.

OP posts:

vlc · 19/12/2008 01:24

Hi Stocking. Good luck for tomorrow.

I've been where you are now. I understand how sickening it feels. My dd was even slower to gain than yours and I doubted myself hugely. My advice to you tomorrow is this:

Be very clear with the medics; you DO NOT want their advice on breastfeeding. Tell them this. (You are more than able to discover for yourself what will be the best way of ensuring your baby thrives through breastfeeding. They have proved themselves ill-informed on the subject, and more worryingly, it appears they are not averse to spouting utter crapola on the subject.)

Be clear - you want their opinion ONLY on the health of your child. Can they be specific about any health or developmental problems that they see. If they are unable to identify a health problem, then you can take it from there, thank you. Their remit is not to stray into an area of their own incompetence. PND affecting milk quality? What utter, utter nonsense. I'm afraid I would struggle to respect any opinions of someone after they had told me that. Reassure yourself that your baby is healthy. Then leave.

Regarding the breastfeeding, do give consideration to what tiktok says. The good news is that you absolutely have 'wiggle room' to increase your supply further, particularly by increasing feeds, and switching lots during feeds.

BTW, my slow gaining baby is still dainty at 17 months old. She was always destined to be so, it seems. And she still breastfeeds several times a day and night. I could have saved myself much worry over supply if I could have looked forward and seen into the future!

Good luck.

MissisBoot · 19/12/2008 08:23

Good luck for today Iwish

Home-Start are also in Scotland - Have a click on the link and you can put your postcode in and they'll give you the nearest scheme. It may be that they don't cover your area but worth checking out.

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 19/12/2008 09:12

Hello

Good luck today, I hope it is useful

Your story sounds v similar to mine, I posted a while ago saying my dd is not gaining well. She was 8lb 12 at birth and only 11lb 11 at 15 weeks; she stopped gaining around the 7 week mark. She is also happy, settled and developing well (also slept through early)

What really struck a chord is that you mentioned deeding her at first cry / with naps etc. I was just like that and ended up feeding every couple of hours (or even hourly) in the day and one theory from my HV was that she was constantly snacking and getting lots of foremilk, enough to keep her satisfied but not enough extra calories to get chubby iykwim..
So what was suggested in my case was to actually space out the feeds to 3-4 hourly and it really seemed to work, she put on about 5oz last week up to the 11 11. I haven't had her weighed this week as hv was happy with gain and said to leave it til next week but she definitely seems a lot bigger!
Just a suggestion anyway but if you are only doing 5-6 feeds then this does not apply obviously, but if you think it might be more than that some days then you could run it past your doctor perhaps. My doctor's suggestions were only ever to supplement with formula
I also do a dream feed at 11ish (which tends to be a bottle for speed, and is sometimes formula)

Well that's just my limited experience anyway! Hope you don't get pressured into something you don't want to

I'm pumping after morning feed too to try and boost supply .

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 19/12/2008 09:17

I meant feeding her at first cry obviously

And LOL at needing carrots

LaTurkey · 19/12/2008 09:20

Good luck today. I haven't read the whole thread but I feel for you. I also wanted to say that I gave formula supplements to my DD for three months. She then refused the bottle and I am still bf her. She did not put on weight ANY more quickly withthe formula top ups than the demand bf. In fact, sometimes she put on more.

IT's terribly hard to feel confident in this situation but I hope you gain in confidence from today on.

VirginBoffinMum · 19/12/2008 14:29

Hey Stocking, we are hanging on the edge of our seats here, how did it go at the GP?

Original poster

IwishIwasaStockingStuffer · 19/12/2008 17:40

Hi, just back!

DD has put on...... 8 ozs in 3 days

The GP decided to just weigh her while we were there as we felt she had put on and the GP felt there was no concerns at all with her (it was a different GP, the lead one for the practice)

She feels DD is small, but is in proportion and developmentally is right on track for her age

What a relief!

Thanks everyone so much for all your support and very helpful advice, it is all very much appreciated

OP posts:

tiktok · 19/12/2008 17:40

moondog · 19/12/2008 17:43

Weh Hey!!!

GP in not talking crap about breastfeeding shocker!!

Hold the front pages!

LaTurkey · 19/12/2008 18:35

...

ChrismumMiaow · 19/12/2008 19:28

Humphrey - as I understand it, if you were feeding hourly, the milk wouldn't have a chance to separate into fore and hind milk, so your DC would be getting whatever you were producing.

see kellymom

VirginBoffinMum · 19/12/2008 19:38

That's so fab. I did suspect everything would work out OK because you were doing everything right as far as I could tell.

Are you feeling a bit more confident in yourself now?

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