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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

when should BF stop?

132 replies

nicky111 · 05/03/2005 20:21

My DD is now nearly 8 months and is still breastfeeding happily a 3 to 4 times a day alongside three solid meals. She is happy and healthy but MIL says I should think about stopping BF at around 9 months as it will become more difficult to stop BF after this and it may put her off cow's milk. My mum says me and my sister just stopped naturally at 12 months and I would like to continue until then. What is your experience? Did your babies stop naturally?

OP posts:
HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 19:38

Message withdrawn

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:41

there's no twiddling/fiddling in our house! i don't want to be controversial but have you thought about why you feel like that about extended breastfeeding? some people feel like that about breastfeeding full stop (ie think it's weird) because of the way that western society (ie men) are so confused about what breasts are for (and to some people extended bfeeding could mean up to six months, whatever. i suppose what i'm saying is we all have our own ideas about what is "normal" for us). just interested.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:45

But mumoftwo - breastfeeding is far more than about nourishment.
You are seeing something that is perfectly normal and natural as something that it is not.
It is not abnormal for a 3 year old to do what you describe.
I hate the way breasts are seen only as sexual objects in our society and this concept makes people question extended breastfeeding.

I appreciate that it is hard to see it from a different way and maybe because i have studied different cultures and had lots of contact with a culture where extended bf is the norm, I am able see outside the box.

Extended bf is not a sexual thing.

I've also met lots of clingy children who werent breastfed.

There are no studies that show long term breastfeeding causes this clinginess.

Children are dependant on their parents and breastfeeding doesnt cause this nor stop it.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:46

Similar post to bundle.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:47

What is the issue? what do you think is going on??

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:48

I give my children lots of hugs and kisses. This doesnt nourish them but I still do it.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:48

nor is it sexual.

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:51

i think it's hard to think outside the box, hercules, i found myself a bit at odds with women at la leche groups who were tandem feeding/feeding 4 or 5 yr olds on demand during our meetings (though obviously didn't say anything, i felt a bit strange about it all the same) and i suppose we all draw lines for what is acceptable for us. i was bottle fed and don't remember any children in our family being bfed, but was absolutely certain it was right for me (to start with because of the fabulous research that backs it up, but it's become so much part of me and my relationshipwith my children now)

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:52

how old are your children, bundle?

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:53

dd1 will be 5 in june (she bfed till 22/23 mths)
dd2 23 mths and still going strong...

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:54

btw, dd1 "had a go" at bfeeding a few times after dd2 was born, out of curiosity. she'd obviously forgotten how to do it and was intrigued by it all!

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 19:54

Message withdrawn

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:56

You said it would become an issue. What sort of issue? Why would you feel uncomfortable with the thought of extended bf?

You likened it to men being obsessed with breasts earlier.

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:57

i don't like twiddling. dd2 sometimes twiddles my hair, but that's about it.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:57

If you know several people, it is more common in this country perhaps than we think. I'm glad that they feel comfortable with other people knowing.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:58

Yes, twiddling can be annoying.

bundle · 09/03/2005 19:58

many of the women at my LLL group were not british

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:58

If a child is twiddling you tell them to stop. Extended bf doesnt equal twiddling.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:59

It does seem to be a british thing to be uncomforable with extended bf.

hercules · 09/03/2005 19:59

most of them at mine were british though.

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 20:00

Message withdrawn

bundle · 09/03/2005 20:00

they were s/african, swedish, american, french etc, and some had partners who weren't british.

hercules · 09/03/2005 20:02

But that's what they are there for! I am sorry if I have annoyed you, I was enjoying the discussion.
Perhaps we all have different perceptions of what breasts are there for and how they are seen.

bundle · 09/03/2005 20:02

but what is it about it that you don't like? i'm genuinely interested, because i have addressed similar feelings as i mentioned below, when the child was quite a bit older. but i think my "goalposts" have moved over the years.

hercules · 09/03/2005 20:03

What is wrong with a child who can walk and talk breastfeeding? How does it change overnight? One day it is okay, then your child reaches a milestone and then that part of their childhool ie bf has to end.