Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

when should BF stop?

132 replies

nicky111 · 05/03/2005 20:21

My DD is now nearly 8 months and is still breastfeeding happily a 3 to 4 times a day alongside three solid meals. She is happy and healthy but MIL says I should think about stopping BF at around 9 months as it will become more difficult to stop BF after this and it may put her off cow's milk. My mum says me and my sister just stopped naturally at 12 months and I would like to continue until then. What is your experience? Did your babies stop naturally?

OP posts:
Ameriscot2005 · 07/03/2005 10:54

Having breastfed 5 toddlers, I can safely say that none of them has ever approached someone else for a feed! I can't imagine that at all.

HappyMumof2 · 07/03/2005 10:56

Message withdrawn

geekgrrl · 07/03/2005 11:04

I bf my dd1 until she was 3.5 years old, she did need some gentle persuasion to drop it but then she's a bit of a comfort seeker anyway. Dd2 weaned herself at 15 months ( very for me, she'd had a very diffcult, medically fraught babyhood and we'd worked so hard on breastfeeding). Ds still has a bedtime feed, he's 15 months. I decided to drop daytime feeds though as he was getting too demanding about it. I tandem fed my dds (18 months apart in age), it wasn't a problem, was nice for my older one to not feel excluded, and was fantastic for my younger one who, being born with a severe heart defect and downs syndrome, would probably not have been strong enough to establish a milk supply on her own. She ended up being tube fed and on a ventilator for several weeks when she was 2 months old, thanks to dd1 still feeding dd2 was able to go back to the breast once she was better.
I don't particularly like feeding toddlers to be honest, and I can say with absolute certainty that it's not something I do for myself. But I feel that it is a good thing for my children and in reality a very short period of time of my life, which I don't feel the need to rush.

hunkermunker · 07/03/2005 12:34

stitch, I don't want to get into a row about Islam, but I think it's a shame that it's only a recommendation to breastfeed, but an order to stop breastfeeding at the age of two

ionesmum · 07/03/2005 19:16

As a Christian, I think the guidance in Islam about breastfeeding is both enlightened and practical. To suggest breastfeeding without making it a condition of faith is very understanding as not all women manage it. There is no Christian guidance on this as such but some Christian women's groups and writers(particularly in the U.S.) take the view that breastfeeding is doing what God intends and bottlefeeding is therefore unchristian. I never managed to b/feed dd1 and reading books by these people mad eme feel even mor eguilty and depressed than I did to start with.

Demented · 07/03/2005 19:24

My DS2 gave up b/feeding at 16 months, I would have gone on longer but was very happy to allow him to finish when he wanted to.

Mums can be curious, mine was very supportive of me feeding but when my DS2 was about a year old she mentioned a friend who had a baby of the same age and was also feeding and said the friend couldn't possibly still be feeding her daughter as her daughter was walking and now wearing shoes.

IMO if you and your DD are still happy to b/f then ignore your Mum. FWIW my DS2 didn't like formula or cows milk and when he gave up b/f the only thing he would drink was water, he loved cheese sauces, fromage frais etc so just made sure he got enough dairy that way.

hercules · 07/03/2005 19:31

I bf my ds until he was 4. I didnt do it for me but because of the benefits to him. Ive often said that if it came in a bottle then I'd bottlefeed but it doesnt. Dh was also bf until he was 4.
I can understand why some people feel uncomfortable with it but that's their problem not mine.
IT was difficult at times as I didnt want ds to feel it was something dirty but nor did I want to be dictated to by other peoples attitudes.
He never lifed up other peoples tops nor was he forced in anyway.
We have lots of allergies in my family and I wanted to give him the best start. After bf for 4 years I had a break of 3 years before conceiving again partly due to dreading long term breastfeeding again.
I'll only feed dd until she is 2.

As for the argument that they are walking and talking??? Dd walked when she was 10 months and now at nearly 17 months barely says a word.What should I do?

I'm not in a rush for either of my kids to grow up. I dont see a 3 year old as anything more than a small child.
I accept that nurtitionally my child doesnt need breastmilk but nor does he nutritionally need a kiss or a hug but I still do that even now he's nine.

I wonder why it's acceptable in this country to give a substitute nipple ie dummy or teat, but not acceptable to give the real thing.

Ameriscot2005 · 07/03/2005 19:33

Hear, hear, Hercules!

throckenholt · 07/03/2005 19:46

whenever you are both ready !

I stopped at 12 months - but only because I found I was pregnant with twins !

oxocube · 07/03/2005 20:12

Fed my last child (no 3) 'til he was 18 months, my choice to stop rather than his. Now, I wish I had fed him longer - something to do with him being my last and the fact that I know I will never again do something which felt so 'right'.

sweetkitty · 07/03/2005 21:52

Very interesting thread as I'm feeding DD 7 and a half months but want to stop at 12 months but have been feeling guilty about it. My reasons for 12 months are that we want to start TTC another baby when DD is one or just after and I don't like the idea of tandem feeding think it would be hard to feed a toddler when feeling sick and horrible. Also I would like to fully have my body back for just even a few months I feel guilty about this but then I think well I've BF for 12 months and given her the best start.

Out of all the people I know there is only one other person a work colleague who has breastfed a baby past a few weeks (apart from a few mothers I've since met and M&B groups) I'm already seen as wierd for BF this long. Loads of people have asked why I'm still BF, am I missing getting drunk and surely it can't be of nay benefit now she's on food. Very sad that so little is known about the benefits of BFing.

hunkermunker · 07/03/2005 21:56

Can I just clarify that I didn't mean it was a shame that Islam didn't make it a condition of faith that women breastfeed (I'm not mental!), what I thought was sad was that Islam says that breastfeeding must stop at two years. I accept that my original post might not have made that very clear!

hercules · 07/03/2005 21:58

It is a shame and I've heard Muslim women say this too. I guess it's still a huge step forward than what normally happens in many places.

ionesmum · 08/03/2005 09:06

Given that the 'western' norm seems to be not to b/feed at all (or certainly past 6mo) it seems quite refreshing, although I accept it's a shame if women and their little ones want to b/feed past 2rs and feel they can't.

Demented · 08/03/2005 21:34

hercules, thought your post about feeding your DS etc was lovely.

kaansmum · 08/03/2005 21:58

Sorry, in advance to anyone I might inadvertantly offend, but this discussion conjours up one image in my mind. Has anyone seen the Harvey character in "Little Britain"?

"Bitty" -

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 11:17

Message withdrawn

Socci · 09/03/2005 11:44

Message withdrawn

suzywong · 09/03/2005 11:46

precisely
well-said

Donbean · 09/03/2005 11:56

OMG sweetkitty thats awful! Missing getting drunk my arse!
I BF till 6/7 months as i was going back to work and it just wasnt practical nor safe to express. I continued to b/f at night for about 6 weeks after that and was very upset and sad to have to stop. Having said that it seemed to come to a natural end there.
IMHO you need to continue for as long as you are happy to regardless of what other people tell you.
Kick ass girl and stick to your guns

flic23 · 09/03/2005 12:07

I had started out only planning to feed for 2 or 3 months which turned into 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11 my DS slept though at 11 weeks which aided this decision. I guess i continued past six months as it was convienient and i didnt feel tied as he would take a bottle pn the rare occasions i wasnt there. I stopped very gradually. He had 4 feeds a day i swappd his bedtime feed for a bottle at 10 months and left it a that(it meant me and DP could have an evening out easier) just before his 1st birthday i dropped his feeds weekly. He didnt even notice seeing as he was on so much solids. In the end i stopped by losing his breakfast feed. I thought it would be so wierd but itfelt so natural for him and he never showed interest in BF again. Also i had no pain or lumpiness i was so scared of engorgment and cabbage leaves but i could hardly tell the difference

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 12:18

Message withdrawn

Socci · 09/03/2005 12:29

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 12:33

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 12:34

Message withdrawn