when should BF stop?

[nicky111]

My DD is now nearly 8 months and is still breastfeeding happily a 3 to 4 times a day alongside three solid meals. She is happy and healthy but MIL says I should think about stopping BF at around 9 months as it will become more difficult to stop BF after this and it may put her off cow's milk. My mum says me and my sister just stopped naturally at 12 months and I would like to continue until then. What is your experience? Did your babies stop naturally?

Sorry if this has already been said but... bf in some country's is the childs only source of food isnt it? and it is a very natural way of feeding your baby is it not? And arent we about the only country that dosent have a high percentage of mums feeding after twelve months as we frown upon it? I think it should be the mothers decsion as to how long she breastfeeds for and not worry about other people, your baby/child comes first. Cod: Just because a child can drink from a cup why cant it still be breastfed? Dont you drink from a cup and a sports bottle or juice carton or any other source apart from a cup??

I also think it's about comfort. My dd2 definitely likes to snuggle for a feed when she is unwell. Poor dd1 had to be bottle-fed - she only had a dummy. She still uses that now just to help her go off to sleep and she's three, so I don't see the problem with letting dd2 get comfort from me. After all, we as adults have our props to give us comfort - hug from dh, new lippy, G&T etc...

Yes, coddy, what happened was that both my dd's came up to me when they were about a year and said "Don't want your milk any more, Mummy, I'm a big girl now and can drink lovely cow's milk from a cup." To which I broke down crying and begged them on my knees to let me carry on breastfeeding me. They said yes, reluctantly, just to please their poor old mother.

Yes, breastfeeding after 12 months is to a large extent about comfort, but it also provides many many nutritional benefits.

For example -

"In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001"

And that's not even talking about the health benefits for child and mother...

meant to say breastfeeding them

simple. When you want it to stop!

I found it very easy to stop after one - ds was mixed fed and I gradually increased the number of cup/formula feeds (not in any organised way - I'm not very organised!) and one day just didn't do it any more. He was utterly OK about it. I think your MIL is (typically!) talking rubbish -and you shouldn't give cow's milk as a drink until your child is nearer one anyway, so what's the point of stopping at 8months? Your baby, your body, your decision.

Dss were mixed fed from about 6 months and eventually weaned themselves off the breast too. I think the middle of the night feeds were the last to go, they were dire sleepers until about 18 mths.

DD has persistantly refused to take milk from any source other than me, whether it's formula, ebm or cow's. She still getting fed at least once a day now (she's 16 mths) although it's usually at night. I avoid telling people she's still getting BF as much as possible as it seems to make them uncomfortable. The important people are fine with it - me, DH and DD. HV said well done last time I saw her

I won't stop her until she wants to, or until it starts being a problem for me.

Incidently she's fine drinking anything else from cups, cartons whatever, just stubborn about the milk.

dd stopped by 13 months. She started to bite at about 10 months, I reacted badly and there was a noticeable reduction after that . Morning feed was the last one.

ds stopped at about 17 months but had only had evening one for about 3 months prior. I instigated it because he really didn't seem to need it and was losing interest.

He took to cow's milk happily instead but she lost interest in milk altogether for a while.

when you want to stop, you stop.
personally i think the idea of feeding a three year old is not nice.. also i think tandem feeding is not a good idea either.

do you not feed your 3 year old then stitch?

lol, i meant breastfeeding a three year old!

Stitch, why do you think tandem feeding is not a good idea?

because tandem feeding means that you breastfeed during pregnancy. which means that whatever mom is eating, is going into nourishing three people, the mom, the baby, and the foetus. pregnancy is hard enough without putting this extra burden on a womans body.
then when the baby is born, what about the colustrum? i think the newborn deserves it, and the toddler shouldnt be guzzling that down. and breastmilk changes to cope with the demands of the baby, but if you are feeding two age groups, then which willl lose out?
not to mention the physical toll on a womans body...
also, the toddler might feel jealous that the newborn is being fed from 'his' breasts.

these are my opinions. obviously some people are happy about it, and enjoy it.
my friends husband has a patient who breastfeeds her six year old. obviously she doesnt think it is time to stop yet. chinese emperors were regularly breastfed till puberty!

milking in cows needs to be stopped a few weeks before the new calf is born, or the milk dries up. the source for this info is not university, but my dad who was brought up on a farm. so would be termed anecdotal

I'm with the "keep going as long as you like" brigade. I stopped bf DS1 at 18 months. He loves cow's milk, would happily have two pints per day. He did only start to drink it after I stopped bf.

His weaning was something I did, rather than something he did, but it wasn't hard at all - I just stopped taking him to bed with me in the morning for a couple of weeks.

That being said, I stopped because I was opposed to tandem feeding, which I've since decided was silly. DS2 will probably breastfeed as long as he wants to, and tandem feeding isn't likely to be an issue anyway as he's my last baby.

I tandem-fed for over a year with #4 and #5. I don't think it was hard on me at all - after all, mums of twins can manage perfectly well.

When you stop breastfeeding is a totally personal decision. Even if people who views you value disagree, you don't have to tell them what goes on in the privacy of your own home. My experience with toddlers is that they realise there is a time and a place, and will respect a hushed "no".

I'm very happy to be bf my almost 3 year old. She was under the weather for most of this week, and I was so happy that she could have bm. Ditto when she has an asthma attack - her sats actually go up when she is feeding - don't know why, but it's true.

thats one of the things i like about mumsnet. in rl i dont think any of my friends even know what tandem feeding means. and yet here there is always somone who has done it.
im happy that this worked for you ameriscot. i just gave my reasons as hunkermumker asked for them. its not something i could ever do.

I don't think it's anything that you think about before the situation presents itself. Same as long-term breastfeeding to a new mum - it's best to focus on short-term goals and make your decisions for the future in the future.

both of mine tailed off at 12 mths to 1-2 feeds or when tired or poorly comfort feeds, by 14 mths it was bedtime and by 16 mths both preferred bottles of bedtime milk
The thing about cows milk is pretty much bollox tho' Some babies love it some hate it, my dd prefers goats milk!

Im all for breastfeedingbut i think its a womens choice how long she wants to b/f for but I have to say I dont feel comfortable with people feeding children over 2 around me, its all the things that go with it-my friend has 4 children, all breastfed till about 3yrs, all boys, they are sooo brazen, they walk over to her and demand the boob, or just whip her top up, they do it to other people too, have been round and they tried to do it to me, which disgusted me to say the least.
I also think as cod said it all is a bit strange when they are walking/talking/using a cup/potty trained etc- I know that they do in 3rd world countries etc till alot older, but come on, we dont live in the thrird world, we live in a country where they get ample vits&mins etc from their daily diet. so really what is the need to b/f past this? I think it is more for the mum rather than the child. its all very well to say well they want to continue, so i will-but if they wanted to eat choc all day/destroy your pc etc etc, would you let them just becuase they wanted to continue?

Anyhow thats my personal opinion, Im not taking a pop at anyone, or trying to start a row, just sharing my opion on the subject

Stopped with DD1 @ 14 months (she wanted to !) I think the only answer is, whenever mum or baby decide enough is enough?

The thing is, busyalexsmummy, that eating chocolate all day/destroying my pc doesn't have all the health benefits for my child and me and all the nutritional benefits that breastfeeding has.
Read all about it here

So I really don't think your analogy works.

And yes, they can get vitamins etc. from solids - but then by breastfeeding her I know dd2 will always get the nutrients she needs in any given day, even when her solids intake has been rather erratic again - as many toddlers' eating is, I believe.

I do agree, however, that there comes a time when children don't have to feed whenever wherever anymore - they can learn that b/feeding is something private, to be done in the home/when alone with Mummy. My dd2 is now 19 months and I hardly ever feed her in public now - she's not that interested when we're out and about anyway.

Agree with emkana that you can't liken extended breastfeeding to giving a child chocolate all day or them wrecking your PC

Thanks for your reply, stitch - I'm not sure whether I would tandem feed either (only got one child and not pg so not sure if I'll find out whether I would either!) - I don't have any problems with the idea of it, but just not sure how I'd feel once pg/with newborn. Wouldn't rule it out though! Nice to hear your experience of it too Ameriscot

I think extended breastfeeding, as with all things we teach our children about appropriateness, shouldn't impact on other people - if my DS is still nursing in a year's time and pulls someone else's top up he will be told it's not appropriate (whether he'll pay attention is something I have to hope for I think!). But I don't think there's much validity in the 'it's more for the mum' argument I'm afraid. Coddy - you've still not replied!

i want to add another reason against extended breastfeeding. i know that for most of you it wont mean anything, but it does for me.
in islam, there are many guidelines about liviing, and one of them is the recommendation to breastfeed, (not compulsion) and the second is to stop breastfeeding at the age of two.
i dont want this to become a discussion about islam. i only say this as over a third of the population of this planet is muslim, and a great many of them live in the nondeveloped world. to use a term i dislike. and some of you have mentioned extended bf in underdeveloped countries.

Extended breastfeeding is not just about nutrition.