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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

when should BF stop?

132 replies

nicky111 · 05/03/2005 20:21

My DD is now nearly 8 months and is still breastfeeding happily a 3 to 4 times a day alongside three solid meals. She is happy and healthy but MIL says I should think about stopping BF at around 9 months as it will become more difficult to stop BF after this and it may put her off cow's milk. My mum says me and my sister just stopped naturally at 12 months and I would like to continue until then. What is your experience? Did your babies stop naturally?

OP posts:
Papillon · 09/03/2005 12:36

my dd is bf at 16months. She drinks cows milk, sheeps milk, rice and soya milk. I know kids that stopped by themselves, I think it depends on their personality too whether they choose to stop or not if allowed the decision.

its between you and your baby - you say she is bf happily if you are happy too then keep bfing

emkana · 09/03/2005 15:34

HappyMumof2 - your post is just a nice summary of all the prejudices that exist against longterm breastfeeding. And do you know what? I just can't be a*ed to argue against them. You do what you think is right for your children, and I do what I think is right, and I just need to look at my children to see that I'm doing something right.

If some people are not even willing to see the benefits of breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding from birth, what hope is there to convince people that longterm breastfeeding is a good idea? It's just pointless.

But to all you longterm breastfeeders out there: Stick to your guns, and feel proud of what you are doing for your children!

bundle · 09/03/2005 15:40

I still bfeed my 23 mth old and have no intention of stopping yet.

hercules · 09/03/2005 16:22

happymumoftwo - how sad that you had to compare breastfeeding a four year old child with how grown men see breasts in a sexual way .

There is so much more I could say but like a previous poster dont see the point.

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 16:47

Message withdrawn

hercules · 09/03/2005 16:56

When people talk about self weaning noone means feeding until their child is an adult. That would be wrong. You are comparing it to something sexual which it simply isnt. YOu are entitled to your opinion and I realise that extended bf goes against the culture in this country and there are lots of people who feel the way you do hence theLittle Britain sketch.

I do think it is sad to see breastfeeding a small child compared with breastfeeding a child until they are an adult. Let's not forget why breasts are there - not for adult amusement but to feed a child.....

I also waited until ds was ready to be toilet trained without forcing him before he was ready. I never expected him to be still wearing nappies as a teenager nor does anyone else who does it the same way.

Children grow out of things when they are ready although can be pushed of course into this early by parents and societies attitudes.

You dont see many adults still with dummies, bottles or sucking thumbs.
I also know of no child who carried on breastfeeding until adulthood. Do you know any? What is your theory based on?

hercules · 09/03/2005 16:56

When people talk about self weaning noone means feeding until their child is an adult. That would be wrong. You are comparing it to something sexual which it simply isnt. YOu are entitled to your opinion and I realise that extended bf goes against the culture in this country and there are lots of people who feel the way you do hence theLittle Britain sketch.

I do think it is sad to see breastfeeding a small child compared with breastfeeding a child until they are an adult. Let's not forget why breasts are there - not for adult amusement but to feed a child.....

I also waited until ds was ready to be toilet trained without forcing him before he was ready. I never expected him to be still wearing nappies as a teenager nor does anyone else who does it the same way.

Children grow out of things when they are ready although can be pushed of course into this early by parents and societies attitudes.

You dont see many adults still with dummies, bottles or sucking thumbs.
I also know of no child who carried on breastfeeding until adulthood. Do you know any? What is your theory based on?

hercules · 09/03/2005 16:56

My four year old was not a man!

hercules · 09/03/2005 16:57

Sorry, I did say I wasnt going to discuss this as I know I wont change your way of thinking.

kama · 09/03/2005 17:04

This reply has been deleted

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Socci · 09/03/2005 17:57

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HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 18:07

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beansprout · 09/03/2005 18:12

I guess it is like a lot of things. Personally I might be comfortable with something but it doesn't mean I won't get grief from someone who may not agree.

hercules · 09/03/2005 18:16

Actually I have told a lot of people and found that actually there are a lot of people who fed for a long time. Ds's best friend was bf until he was 2.5 years old. A teacher at school fed her kids until they were 3 and 4.
I used to go to La leche meetings and there were lots of women who extended feeding. One lady fed her child till he was 6, most stopped at around 3 or 4.
The average age of weaning worldwide is four years old although that can be misleading as lots of people dont feed for more than a few weeks and lots feed for longer than 4 years. I dont know of any median figure.

I am less likely to open and honest about it to people who have attitudes like yours for obvious reasons. I am perfectly capable of surviving negative reactions but I dont think my ds would have managed in the same way.

That is not the same as being ashamed. It is not a dirty secret.

We long term breastfeeders used to have coffee mornings, bring and buys and barbecues. It was all perfectly normal.

I told a breast specialist when I had to seem him about a lump and he said "well done", not "Oh, my god".

Just because you dont agree with something or wouldnt do it yourself, doesnt mean that thing is wrong.

hercules · 09/03/2005 18:16

Physiologically, humans are meant to bf until between 2.5 and 7 years old.

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 18:19

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hercules · 09/03/2005 18:20

That's fine. I bet you do lots of things that I wouldnt do with my kids as wouldnt be in their best interests. Although of course I completely disagree with you about extended breastfeeding not been in a kids interests. How could it not be? What harm could it do?

Ameriscot2005 · 09/03/2005 18:21

I've never actively weaned any of my children - they have all stopped bf of their own accord between the ages of 2 and 4. None of them has had any interest in a transitional object - probably because they had free access to their comfort when they needed/wanted it.

hercules · 09/03/2005 18:22

A huge part of the worlds population have been okay with extended breastfeeding and not have harm caused to them.
I can understand a worry about other peoples reactions but I hope I dont bring up my kids to suit other people.

HappyMumof2 · 09/03/2005 18:33

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hercules · 09/03/2005 18:37

ds was in full time nursery from 3 so no clinginess there. In fact, I think if kids feel secure it makes them more confident and able to get out there and be independant. If they feel insecure and unsure then the opposite can happen.

Weaning an older child is far easier as you can explain things to them.

hercules · 09/03/2005 18:38

I am not used as a dummy either as most of the time I'm at work and not even there!

posyhairdresser · 09/03/2005 18:42

Best to stop before your breasts trail along the floor

bundle · 09/03/2005 18:53

dd1 and i had a chat just before she was 2 and i said do you want to have a bottle (cow's milk) in the mornings like you do in the evenings? she said yes. end of story (and breastfeeding!)
i suspect dd2 will be a little older.

btw my girls associate breastfeeding with sleep/down time (or illness when nothing else will do) so we're not usually out & about or even visible to the rest of the world when we bfeed. it's v intimate and part of my relationship with my girls and i don't like the idea that anyone else "judges" whether it's a good thing for me or my children. btw, people who know us remark on how independent my children are, not at all clingy.

emkana · 09/03/2005 19:25

But HappyMumof2, I take it you don't know any children that have been breastfed long term, and you certainly won't find any scientific studies that show that long term breastfeeders are particularly clingy -

so what on earth do you base your worries on? Other than some kind of feeling you may have, and a Little Britain sketch?

BTW, my daughter self-weaned without any problems at 2 years 3 months. She is not clingy at all. She has never ever cried when I have left her at nursery.

Funny that us extended breastfeeders on this thread have been so lucky with our children!