why do people bottle feed?

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first of all, i dont want this to become a slanging match. i am honestly curious about the reasons.
im asking about those women who do not even try breastfeeding. the ones who think that it is an equal choice between breast and formula. i dont want to judge anyone, i just want to know how these women can justify denying their babies species specific milk.
my eldest was mainly bottlefed, my younger two were exclusively breastfed till they were weaned. and moved to formula around the eight month mark.

the first week, when I was a bit shy, I fed him in the parents room at john lewis or got someone to sit next to me so that I was hidden from the rest of the room, of if I was in a shop I fed him in the changing room.

Leglebeagle - Boots, mothercar and john lewis all have nice feeding rooms. Most big shopping centres have areas for feeding too - Bluewater has lovely ones with rocking chairs etc.

Otherwise discreetly in a cafe or, in my case, often on a quiet park bench in Greenwich park For those that know it there are a couple of particularly discreet one's in the flower garden.

The only place I ever felt uncomfortable feeding was at Covent Garden. Sitting in a pavement cafe didn;t do it for me. In teh end I found a park bench in Lincoln Inn Fields along with the tramps

Leogaela - sorry that post was to you not legle beagle

leogaela, i feed discreetly in public. i tend to carry a blanket with me at all times, drap it over the sholder of whatever side baby is feeding on, the pop her under. kinda like a tent lol.

It does depend on where you are. I have fed on a bench in the middle of a busy street and in a pub (surrounded by other mums admittedly).
I used to feel uncomfortable if I was in a busy cafe/ or restaurant and that would make me resort to the tiolets- in my town a woman was recently asked to leave a cafe because she was upsetting the customers! If that had happened to me I would have gone ballistic (but in reality the hormones would have probably made me cry!).
I like the new scottish legislation which makes it an offence to prevent a woman feeding!

Thanks girls! That's really good advice - the blanket trick sounds good. I also think some practical clothes could help. Has anyone tried those breast feeding tops?

We are going out this afternoon so this will probably be my first attempt at it!!!

I never fed in a toilet and never would. Cafes, the lovely feeding rooms in John Lewis, parks, in the car and at the shops, yes - toilets no! Never had any complaints or funny looks and wouldn't care if I did. Their problem, not mine.
BTW the feeding rooms at JL have those wonderful, v expensive feeding chairs and footstools. Luxury!

BTW you CAN diet while breastfeeding if you want. And formula definitely doesn't make all babies sleep longer.

I haven't tried breastfeeding tops, but a vest top with a cardi type thing over the top is good, you can kind of hide the baby under the sides of the cardi. but with any looseish top there wont be anything on view from the front, everything is hidden by the babies head. If you feel a bit exposed at the side get someone to sit next to you or sit next to a wall.

Leogaela - I never had breastfeeding tops but always lifted my top up even if it unbuttoned. You can feed discretely just by not unbuttoning a top and 'revealing' yourself. I never went to breastfeeding rooms but just fed wherever I was seated. No-one really looks at what you are doing despite worrying about it

I have never bf in a dirty or even clean toilet but do have to express in them fairly regularly - ugh. That's not something I enjoy about breastfeeding.

I have loads of breastfeeding tops, and they're ok, but certainly not necessary. The only UK-made one I have sucks - it has poppers, which I inevitably forget to do back up, meaning I wander around with a boob hanging out!

Breastfeeding tops seem to be more popular in the US/Canada.

And as for not seeing women out there breastfeeding, trust me, once you breastfeed, you'll notice other women doing it. It's not an obvious activity, but once you've done it yourself, you start to notice it more. I just need to work out a way to indicate I approve - I worry that if I look too obviously, I might "spook" someone who's breastfeeding in public for the first time.

It's weird - the only places I've found that I couldn't bring myself to feed in were a) a pub with my old coworkers and b) my son's nursery school. I'm sure I could do it at the school if I really needed to - I did it at the nativity play, and the school fete. But I just couldn't do it in front of my old coworkers.

-Because they wanted to?

-So mothers who took a different decission could question them to the end of the times???

I don't think any answer you are given is going to satisfy you as you have your own good beliefs about why your option it's better. I will just accept some people think that way and let it go.

I have bottle fed both dd and ds. I would have loved to have breastfed both of them. With dd she wouldn't latch on properly, I couldn't get the hang of it and she started to lose lots of weight, and I ended up stressed out, so after trying very hard and lots of tears finally admitted defeat and gave up. After ds was born I had complications and was very ill, so dh had to feed ds and I am afraid, there was no milk coming out of his nipples!! At the end of the day bottle/breast what does it matter as long as the child is healthy and well. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I would never force my ideas on to someone else.

Obviuosly I have not finished reading the thread so appologies if my comment is out of line

I haven't read all the thread either

Muslin over the shoulder is good for a bit of privacy.
Wish I lived somewhere there were such things as mother & baby rooms! There are over 50000 people in our town, but only the local Boots has a tiny room, but it's also a changing area with no lock, and I had an interesting experience with a father, his baby and school-age son. (along the lines of - can I see your booby?)- hence the resorting to toilets - also became skilled at buggy nappy-changing.

Aloha - I was told by HV not to diet while feeding, guess it depends on the advice your given. Mind you, after feeding for 9 months I weighed less than when I got pregnant anyway!
Re: Sleeping through the night - I don't think that bottlefed babies sleep longer, just that you can sleep while someone else gets up and feeds baby. (I liked that - as soon as I had my supply of EBM it was over to dh as often as possible!)

I beg you all, please stop these bottle vs. breast feeding posts if you can't avoid being defensive, accusative and judgemental! Feelings are being hurt. Is this what you want on Mumsnet? What difference does it make to another mother anyway whether you breast or bottlefeed? If a mum needs support with feeding, that's one thing but to have these waspish conversations is totally off.

I didn't bother to finish reading the thread because what I saw earlier infuriated me. Sorry.

Look....if people want to post, then please, read the whole thread first. I can't see the point of reading something, getting into a strop, and then posting without reading the whole thing. Many of the more acrimonious posts have already been dealt with, resolved and some people have even apologised or explained. Further 'outraged' posts only serve to resurrect the ill-feeling you say you don't like.

I fed at ds's nursery last week - no problem at all! Dd caught me unawares, as they do at two weeks.

they still arguing on mn about breast over bottle

sorry, clicked before had finished typing. Why are people so bothered by this?

Message withdrawn

Aloha and NQC - it may amuse you to know that although my DS1 is perfectly cool about me breastfeeding DS3 at home when he has friends round, he was very uptight about me taking DS3 to the school assembly in case I would have to feed him there!