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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

why do people bottle feed?

406 replies

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:28

first of all, i dont want this to become a slanging match. i am honestly curious about the reasons.
im asking about those women who do not even try breastfeeding. the ones who think that it is an equal choice between breast and formula. i dont want to judge anyone, i just want to know how these women can justify denying their babies species specific milk.
my eldest was mainly bottlefed, my younger two were exclusively breastfed till they were weaned. and moved to formula around the eight month mark.

OP posts:
HappyMumof2 · 28/02/2005 14:49

Message withdrawn

Gwenick · 28/02/2005 14:50

ok you've explained 'species and specific' how do you explain the term 'justify' then????

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 14:50

thanks Gwenick

you haven't answered my question I'm interested to know what you think I've denied them?

crunchie · 28/02/2005 14:50

Doing a bit of research (ie asking people in teh office who are not pg and have not got children) the overwealming view was Yuck - no way. I think Colditzmum has said it all.

snafu · 28/02/2005 14:50

I think it is the 'I want to know how these women can justify...' that is the problem, not 'species-specific milk'. How you can say that isn't inflammatory is beyond me.

But anyway, I don't think I can contribute anything useful to this 'discussion'.

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:50

gwenick, thats a hurtful comment. i know yousaid you are joking, but i dont want any personal comments.
people can do what they want withtheir children. its their choice.

OP posts:
Gwenick · 28/02/2005 14:50

LOL JT - I misread your last comment - thought you were asking ME about the question you'd asked

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 14:52

OOps! sorry no - still waiting for a response

misdee · 28/02/2005 14:52

this thread does seem a bit like an arguemwnt starting already.

i started the thread yesterday as i was shocked by the % of bottles being used on a ward, i didnt realise the uk uptake on breastfeeding was only 63%.

Gwenick · 28/02/2005 14:53

stitch - the comment wasn't directed at you - it 'specifically' said it was for JT - so therefore it was a 'personal' comment at her - which as it happened she took the way it was intended

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:53

joolstoo, in answer to your question, you have denied them species specific milk.
does that make you a bad mom? no. but i still want to know why you did not give them human milk. if you can clarify this i would appreciate it.

OP posts:
colditzmum · 28/02/2005 14:54

What I do find interesting is why I feel this way. I haven't got a clue why, I am not generally squeamish about any bodily functions, I do think cultural conditioning has a lot to answer for.

If I could have got the breastmilk without it having to some from my breasts, but still be mine (yes I know, impossible) then that is what he would have got. very strange of me I know.

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:54

sorry gwenick

OP posts:
lunavix · 28/02/2005 14:55

I desperately wanted to bf ds, because I heard about all the goodness and nutrients and he wouldnt get fat and I would lose weight etc etc etc that we all are told.

He had one feed after being born, but having swallowed a ton of mucus he didn't feed again for 3 days as he vomited frequently and just wasn't hungry. Eventually they tubefed him milk in the middle of the night, and try as I might I just couldn't express hardly any.

They continued feeding a mixture of ebm and formula at the hospital and then after a few days we came home, with him tentatively bf-ing. The only way we could get him to was using nipple shields, as he became very used very quick to the bottle and they seemed the closest thing to him.

As he still didn't like bf much, we gave him a bottle of formula at night. He started sleeping through quite early, and I was comforted by the fact that I knew he was getting something. I was also tormented by the fact he'd feed for hours and still was hungry, plus expressing got me maybe 20ml max. I kept diarys, read books, consulted HV, all said he was doing fine. After a few check ups they realised he wasn't putting on weight, in fact was losing it, and suggested I move onto bottlefeeding, which I did amidst a few tears because I really did want to feed him myself.

Part of me still believes he could have been healthier bfed. He's a big baby for his age, but as he has never ate a huge amount I can't really put it down to his food. He's had a lot of V&D, colds, ear infections etc and I do wonder if BFing would have helped prevent against that.

For no2 I'm going to try it again, even though I have realised life is so much easier bottle feeding. I know what he's having, we've regulated feeds, anyone can do it... but I'd still like to try bfing again

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:57

no, colditz, i dont thinkit is strange at all. i remmber being extremely traumatised when i asked for help with b/f ds1, and the midwife came along, grabbed my breast and stuffed it into babies mouth.
i had thought that giving birth would be weird, but had my legs in the air, with twelve people in the room, but that didnt feel weird, but another woman grabbing my breast like that was awful!

OP posts:
stitch · 28/02/2005 14:58

oh my god, its three oclock. musts run to school!
mumsnet is sooo addictive

OP posts:
mears · 28/02/2005 14:58

I can understand the question stitch is asking even if it is not really appreciated.

One of my closest friends chose to bottle feed even after reading all the information about the benfits of breastfeeding. She told me she certainly knew breastmilk was the ideal food for babies but the thought of doing it repulsed her. She did not even like her husband seeing her breasts never mind having a baby feed from them.

I admire her honesty and wish more women would just say that they don't want to do it rather than give an excuse that someone will give them an answer for IYSWIM?

coldtea · 28/02/2005 14:59

I hate these sort of posts. What if i was too ask

  1. Did you give your baby a dummy
  2. did you cook all your own food
  3. do you allow you your child to eat Mc Donalds , watch the telly , drink juice , eat sweets.

The list could go on!

We all love our children & do the best that we can. It is not a competition! I don't care how people feed their baby or what they do.

Sorry , but this subject really gets me on my soapbox i could go on , but won't!

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 15:01

because there was a choice between human milk and formula milk and I decided forumla was a good substitute - happily they were children who were rarely, if ever, sick, have not a single allergy between them, walked (each of them) at 9 months, in fact they developed quite normally and quickly - was this down to formula milk? - I think not - more to do with good genes .

They are now 32, 30 and 28 and still going strong. I don't see how I could have done a better job - I think I'm a wonderful mum and more to the point so do they!

I do find it odd though that you're so interested in this question - did you have a problem with your choices?

I am and always have been, very content with this particular choice.

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 15:05

mears - well certainly I am saying and have said before 'I just didn't want to' and that should be it - I don't need a confessional.

suzywong · 28/02/2005 15:08

JT correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think anyone is saying you are not anything less than a wonderful mum

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 15:09

suzy - I'm not suggesting anyone was! sorry if thats what came across - just blowing my own trumpet

JoolsToo · 28/02/2005 15:20

just discovered a reason (looking at the other thread) why I bottle fed

I'm not lazy!

marialuisa · 28/02/2005 15:20

Well, I'm happy to post my reasons but previous experience on a thread with a similar title makes me wary. But if you're genuinely interested read on:

As explained on misdee's thread i had an unplanned baby six weeks before my finals. I needed to ensure that I was "fully-functioning" (i.e. not sleep-addled, struggling to establish feeding) as soon as possible after the birth. Being in the fortunate position of having amum with 2 very young children I was aware of the potential hardships of the first few weeks when trying to establish feeding for the first time (bleeding nipples, baby feeding every hour and so on) but knew that the remedies (taking the baby to bed and letting everything else not matter) weren't possible.

DH and I were in a difficult place in our relationship. DD was unplanned and although there was never any question of termination, we had known each other for less than a year when I got pregnant. We both struggled with the impact of the pregnancy and he found it especially hard to adjust (so out drinking every night, zero interest in the baby, stayed drinking in the pub when i was taken into hospital because i went into labour prematurely). with this in mind I made a conscious decision that to help our relationship I needed to minimise the shock of the baby as much as possible. This meant getting it to sleep through asap, making sure that I made time for him etc.) It also meant facing up to the impact birth and bf can have on sex drive. Bluntly, we needed to keep sh*gging as at times it felt as if that was all we had going for us! Whatever it says about my psychological state i think I would have found it very hard to have sex if my boobs were leaking. It would have felt wrong because my boobs were so clearly meant for the baby not DH!

I was shot down for this last time but I also felt that given the other factors in her favour the health benefits DD was likely to gain from BF were not worth worrying about. I find the IQ thing hard to take seriously (but that's more a reflection of my views on the validity of IQ tests).

So, 4 years on I'm convinced I made the right choice. Before she was born I did wonder if, when she arrived, I'd feel some overwhelming instinct to bf. I didn't. DH and i now have a good relationship and we're all very happy. DD slept for 12 hours a night from 5 weeks, she's been as healthy as any bf child I know.

Given my positive experience of bottlefeeding, in the unlikely event of me conceiving again, despite the completely different circs, I'd opt for bottles from the start again.

marialuisa · 28/02/2005 15:22

Btw, that missive essentially boils down to "I just didn't want to"