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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

why do people bottle feed?

406 replies

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:28

first of all, i dont want this to become a slanging match. i am honestly curious about the reasons.
im asking about those women who do not even try breastfeeding. the ones who think that it is an equal choice between breast and formula. i dont want to judge anyone, i just want to know how these women can justify denying their babies species specific milk.
my eldest was mainly bottlefed, my younger two were exclusively breastfed till they were weaned. and moved to formula around the eight month mark.

OP posts:
WellieMum · 09/03/2005 22:26

Yikes!! You've got to be quick round here! The discussion is galloping on and I'll never catch up now...

Moondog , why thank you, that is very kind!

Tiktok, your comment about bottlefeeding being used as the baseline for comparison (rather than breastfeeding) really stopped me in my tracks, because I realised that that is what I was subconsciously doing - despite my strong feeling that breastfeeding is the "default option".

So, strictly speaking we should talk about the "risks of bottlefeeding" instead of the "benefits of breasfeeding" ... hmm, that would really annoy people.

It's all so culture-bound though, isn't it. They don't have these issues about "militant breastfeeders" in Norway, for example, because breastfeeding is just what you do, it's how people expect to feed their babies, so it's not a big deal the way it is in the UK.

Ironically, in some ways there's less need for bfeeding support in Scandinavia, despite the fact that a far, far higher proportion of mums breastfeed, because bfeeding mums there don't have to carry a rolled up newspaper around in order to beat off legions of MILs, HVs etc, urging them to top up with formula at the least sign of trouble. (Which is another manifestation of "formula as default option" thinking.)

moondog · 09/03/2005 23:23

Kaansmum, believe it or not, I can see what you're getting at. Hadn't considered it in this manner before.
(Thank you for indulging an old hound.)

Welliemum, I like your default option comments.

My, aren't we all terribly civilised these days...?

WellieMum · 09/03/2005 23:33

Kaansmum, our posts crossed - that made a lot of sense to me. Thanks for explaining!

WellieMum · 09/03/2005 23:35

Very civilised...

So, are midwives not nurses then? (runs away quickly)

beatie · 10/03/2005 09:32

I can understand why a poster claiming breastmilk as the 'milk of human kindness' could upset women who don't/can't brestfeed.

On the otherhand, advertisments of commercial products, including many baby products, do this all the time, make us feel inferior/superior for choosing a certain product.

Certain car manufacturers will insinuate that the best parents buy the car which is deemed the safest model. Baby monitor companies will tell me that I am being a better parent if I choose an alarmed baby monitor. Parents are told they are making a better choice for their children if they choose organic babyfood jars over non-organic. I am sure all sorts of emotive terms are used in these adverts. That's what advertising is.

I wonder why breastfeeding isn't deserving of the same kind of advertising techniques. Should it be treated differently just because it is not a product we have to pay for? Should it be treated differently just because of the emotion surrounding feeding choices?

tiktok · 10/03/2005 09:50

kaansmum - interesting post. The 'milk of human kindness' which (I think) comes from Shakespeare) is a pun - the milk of human kind (ie the human race) is what it is, of course, and then Old Will (if it was he) stuck the 'ness' on the end for the wordplay. I agree about the desired impact of the slogan - it is to make the act of breastfeeding seem loving and kindly, and by implication, anything else seem 'less' loving and kindly.

This is the way advertising works, whenever there is an alternative product/service available. My local plumber tells me his service is 'fast and professional' and by implication, Fred Bloggs down the road is slow and sloppy.

The formula milk manufacturers use the same techniques. The slogans tell you than Brand X is 'closer by Nature'...closer than what? Frogs legs? Spaghetti hoops? No...'closer' than anything else you might use instead, and while the direct comparison is to breastmilk, by implication, with the use of word play, it is also saying you will be 'closer' to your baby, in the way Nature intended, if you use this product.

Do the mothers who use a different product feel attacked for not being close to their babies? I think not....because they know how advertising works.

Now - you are pleading a special case for mothers who use formula instead of breast, and I think you are right to do so, because breastfeeding, and breastmilk, is more than a consumer product or a consumer choice. Feeding babies is a sensitive issue for all the reasons you outline, and if we play on this aspect too much, then we risk upsetting women. Far better, in my view, to have a less emotive slogan that does not play quite so clangingly on the emotions.

One Scottish health board had a campaign with the slogan 'you can't get fitter than a breastfed nipper' which I think has it just right.

mummytosteven · 10/03/2005 09:52

they use that one up in Liverpool too Tiktok (The breastfed nipper one!).

Expectantmum · 10/03/2005 09:58

I can't believe this thread is still going?!! At the end of the day it should all be down to individual choice alone, I have chosen to bottle feed when I give birth, I have read all the literature and made choices and decisions for myself, especially since I am 30 years old, was bottlefed myself as a baby, not because my mother couldn't breastfeed but purely didn't want to, and I have had a perfectly healthy upbringing. I do feel a certain element of bullying involved in making a new mother feel like she has no choice but to breastfeed. My body, my baby, my choice.

tiktok · 10/03/2005 10:09

Well, I dunno, EM....you say your mum chose not to breastfeed, you say you have made your decison to bottle feed, having made your choices after reading the literature...and yet you say mothers are made to feel they have no choice. I don't get it

Expectantmum · 10/03/2005 10:19

Because although I have made a decision for myself, I have spent five months reaching that decision, my midwife has not discussed this issue with me, although she has put on my notes that I intend to breastfeed, which I feel unfair and initially I felt under a great deal of pressure to do so. Its only the wonderful support and advice from you MNetters that has helped me reach my decision, made me get the relevant information and has made my feel strong by my decision and that it IS my decision to make.

Expectantmum · 10/03/2005 10:21

Does that make sense Tiktok?

moondog · 10/03/2005 10:26

Oh beatie!!!!
Huge and enthusiastic round of applause from me!!!

You hit the nail on the head!

tiktok · 10/03/2005 10:29

Not really.....your midwife has clearly made an error in documenting you as a breastfeeder (discussed on another thread), which you can ask her to change if you want to. She haasn't even raised the issue with you, so in the absence of any discussion or pressure or bullying, you still say mothers are made to feel they have no choice...while making your own choice quite freely!

Expectantmum · 10/03/2005 10:35

Yeah but the point I was trying to make (but obviously not wording it quite right is that it has taken me many months and alot of research to reach that decision. I fully intend to ask my MW to amend my notes at my next appointment next week. That said I can fully understand that some new mothers feeling under alot of pressure to breastfeed as most of the books and literature emphasis the slogan "Breast is Best". Even websites for SMA and Cow & Gate sends you straight to a thread when looking at infant milks that breastmilk is best. Anyway, sorry if I confused you I just wanted to get my point across, although I did it badly

bundle · 10/03/2005 10:37

expectantmum, what's the research that swayed you? (genuinely interested, not up for a fight! )

moondog · 10/03/2005 10:38

Too right tiktok. Some people really enjoy feeling aggrieved about being 'pressured'
My answer?? Grow up you big wusses!!

Am I traumatised and made to feel less because I don't buy bloody 'Muzzy' DVDs/attend Tumble Tots/frequent MacDonalds/subscribe to Sky/go on a Mark Warner holiday/kit my kids' rooms out like a mini Disneyworld ?????
I am assailed with this info constantly.

Whatever people choose, how can they feel 'pressures' about being encouraged to make a choice which is of benefit to their child?
Whatsmore, i would argue that the examples above are of no discernible benefit yey it doesn't stop them haranguing me.

I'm grown up enough to shrug it off though.

Caligula · 10/03/2005 10:40

I'm made to feel like Bupa people are better designed than others.

Or that those who eat Haagen Dasz ice cream have better sex than those who eat Walls.

(Maybe they do!)

aloha · 10/03/2005 10:46

Expectantmum....at the risk of being called bullying and patronising and all the rest, I really would say, I don't think it's a generally good idea to make any really definite decisions before you have your baby as it can make you feel backed into a corner when the time comes - ie your pride depends on staying with a decision that may not seem as right or easy when you are faced with a real live baby. I think this applies to every aspect of childrearing - the great dummy debate etc. YOu may have your baby and think 'urgh, breastfeeding' but equally you may think, 'Amazing, I really want to breastfeed this baby!". I was always planning to breastfeed, admittedly, but when my baby heard my voice for the first time outside the womb (dh was holding her at the time) she literally swivelled her head, looked right into my eyes (she was a few minutes old!) and opened her mouth in a huge, hungry gape. She clearly thought, 'ah, my mummy! Milk!" and I found myself with not just an intellectual decision to breastfeed her for all the health benefits ( as she was a girl I found the stuff about protection from breast cancer particularly persuasive) but an absolutely overwhelming primal urge to do it. I think someone else on this thread who was planning to bottle feed said the same thing, and Mears also said she had seen it in her unit. When I saw my daughter like that, I think I would have wanted to breastfeed her even if there were no health advantages, plus, she clearly wanted her mummy milk NOW! and it was really satisfying to me to be able to oblige without having to wait for a bottle to be produce or to rely on anyone else but myself for the ability to feed my baby.

beatie · 10/03/2005 10:48

You know, I just don't see the difference between 'you can't get fitter than a breastfed nipper' and 'The milk of human kindness'

Thanks Moondog. It's nice to meet someone on the same wavelength as me.

aloha · 10/03/2005 10:49

I am also intrigued as to what research has guided you towards formula feeding. Again, not wanting a fight, just wondering. Everything I have ever read has strongly encouraged me to breastfeed - even though I do NOT think of formula as a terrible thing and both my son and daughter have had it.

bundle · 10/03/2005 10:50

my keyring has: mother's milk: the start of something special on it (cheesy or wot? )

stitch · 10/03/2005 10:51

die thread, die...
why did i unleash this monster.
die.
please?

OP posts:
misdee · 10/03/2005 10:51

aloha, i know what u mean. when i had dd3 when i firtst held her she was rooting for milk straight away. even now she sucks any part of me she can get to when she is hungry (she sucked my cheek the other day, very funny). the overwhelming need to breastfeed just took over. i think if i hadnt decided to breastfeed before birth, then afterwards i wpould have if that makes sense.

bundle · 10/03/2005 10:53

but stitch, i'm intrigued about the research, genuninely, and don't want an "I'm better than you" thread, just curious..

stitch · 10/03/2005 10:55

bundle, i started this thread! because i was curious. its just weird that its still going.
i got a lot of interesting feedback, but i also got a lot of grief from some people who doubted my motives, or just wanted to let of steam.

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