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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

why do people bottle feed?

406 replies

stitch · 28/02/2005 14:28

first of all, i dont want this to become a slanging match. i am honestly curious about the reasons.
im asking about those women who do not even try breastfeeding. the ones who think that it is an equal choice between breast and formula. i dont want to judge anyone, i just want to know how these women can justify denying their babies species specific milk.
my eldest was mainly bottlefed, my younger two were exclusively breastfed till they were weaned. and moved to formula around the eight month mark.

OP posts:
prunegirl · 08/03/2005 19:21

Message withdrawn

tiktok · 08/03/2005 20:54

psychomum - click where it says 'click here to start a new thread' at the top of the thread

tiktok · 08/03/2005 20:55

Sorry - it sdays 'conversation' not 'thread'.

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:08

KathH, realize how lucky we are here in Gwynedd!!
Saw the same m/wife I'd seen all through my pregnancy (and the one before) at least 8 times after ds's birth. There was never a hurry. She would stay for at least 1/2 hour and have a cup of tea with us. Saw a different one about twice, but was always someone I knew from aquanatal or yoga.
Thought my experince was the norm...!

wordsmith · 08/03/2005 21:31

Well, I guess bottlefeeding mothers who actively choose bottlefeeding do so because they don't want to breastfeed! For whatever reason - yuk factor, sex, whatever.

Those who choose to breastfeed do so for the same reason - because they want to. Or because they feel pressurised into it. Or because they feel they'll be failing their baby if they don't.

I don't think either camp should have to justify themselves, though. It's a bit like asking why some women like oral sex and others don't - or marmite, or whatever!

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:40

Wm, noone is expected to justify themselves. It's just interesting.
Where are you on the oral sex issue then?

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:40

Thankyou ticktock...flame did one, and it's going on

lol wordsmith at the thought of an oralsex thread !!!!!

wordsmith · 08/03/2005 21:42

Moondog, I'm about half way down.
OOhhh but that's a whole new thread!

wordsmith · 08/03/2005 21:43

Plus, beg to differ, the original poster did ask how 'these women could justify themselves' or some such words. The J word WAS used.

Oral sex thread - don't even go there!

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:43

Whaddya mean? You've already held forth re oral sex??!! How did I miss it??!!

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:43

Wanna do an oral sex one now...should prove amusing

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:44

the 'justify' word was used!!!!

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:44

Sorry, you're quite right re 'justify' issue.
My mistake..

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:44

Sorry, you're quite right re 'justify' issue.
My mistake..

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:45

Sorry, you're quite right re 'justify' issue.
My mistake..

flamesparrow · 08/03/2005 21:45

Gotta be clean, but other than that I'm fine with oral sex!!!

Methinks I may be off topic from the original post now....

flamesparrow · 08/03/2005 21:46

Awww, you even said you were wrong 3 times - shows you mean it! Lol

xxx

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:46

moondog...you keen to post girly

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:47

on the oral sex issue....go with clean, and drunk for me, then I will !!!!!!!

moondog · 08/03/2005 21:52

Oh my laptop is f**d!!! (Dh would comment sourly that it is no doubt due to overuse.)

We're just being silly now aren't we??

Psychomum...5 kids....blimey.......

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 21:54

got drunk five to many times you see

beatie · 09/03/2005 14:23

Why do I never find these discussions on the days when they are lively?

Anyway, it seems the debate got off-topic somewhat but I wanted to add my two cents worth and comment on some of the other issues which have been raised.

Firstly, why is it assumed by some people that women breastfeed because they feel pressurised to or feel guilted into it? I don?t believe this is the experience of most breast feeders, is it?

I have never berated anyone who chose to formula feed or made any negative comments towards any of my friends who gave up breastfeeding early. There are many choices we make as parents which affect the health and well-being of our children and choosing to breastfeed is just one of those.

However, I do think it is important for the health professionals to continue to promote it - even if that means they come across as very gung ho. The breastfeeding rate in this country is pretty poor so you?ve got to expect it to be a major issue and a major concern.

Breastfeeding does have health benefits over formula feeding. Why should that information not be shared with pregnant women? Whilst we all have anecdotal evidence which points to the contrary e.g. ?My breastfed child has allergies? ?I was formula fed and I am perfectly healthy? these stories don?t account for much in the scientific world. Many, many studies are carried out by the scientific community which reveal more and more about the potential benefits of breastfeeding, why would we want to live in a country where our health service chose not to share this information with us. Where is the informed choice?

You cannot stop promoting breastfeeding just so as not to make formula feeding mothers feel bad. How would it be if we applied the same logic to smoking during pregnancy. What if midwives stopped handing out those leaflets that tell pregnant women how they might harm their unborn child if they continue to smoke?

I was born during the formula feeding generation. I was formula fed. If breastfeeding hadn?t been promoted to me by the Health Service, no-one else would have been selling it to me. In this country, growing up, the visual images we see are babies being fed with a bottle. This is the norm. Until my SIL had her baby 5 years ago, I didn?t know that people still breastfed!

I breastfed my dd for about 9 months and had a good experience with it?. But I am still feel I need to seek support for my endeavour to breastfeed my second baby due in September. Since having my dd 3 people I know have had babies - people who I would have expected to breastfeed - and none of them lasted exclusively for more than a few weeks. Add to that my SIL, who was my role model for exclusively breastfeeding her first for so long, making the choice to supplement her second baby with formula from week 2, and I feel very on my own. I feel like the mug who has got it wrong and now I feel like I have to refresh my mind with why I thought breastfeeding was best in the first place.

I agree that continued support after the birth for those who want to breastfeed is so important. I?m really sorry to hear that people didn?t get the support they needed after they had their babies and encountered difficulties with breastfeeding. All the midwives I dealt with were wonderful and I got a lot of support. When my community midwife visited after the birth, she was concerned I wasn?t eating enough and tried to get me to go to a breastfeeding group in a Sure Start area where you get a free hot meal I guess I was lucky.

flamesparrow · 09/03/2005 14:30

Hello - sorry you missed the excitement and silliness yesterday

I'm not sure that any of us want all breastfeeding promotion stopped - but like you said, the smoking mums are told the info, given their leaflets and left to get on with it. My personal experience was that I wasn't given that luxury - I was told at every meeting I went to about how we should all be breastfeeding, I was told in several midwife appointments, and I was given said leaflets on many occasions. All I would like is one leaflet telling you pros and cons for both breast and formula, and leave it at that.

I do agree with everyone that so much more support is needed for new breastfeeding mums. Seeing how things go with my next baby, I will look into training myself.

moondog · 09/03/2005 19:47

Excellent post beatie.
FS,what are the benefits of bottle feeding honestly? The only one I can think of it that it's probably easier in the first week or so when knackered. However after that...a rod for one's own back is the expression that springs to mind.

kaansmum · 09/03/2005 22:16

Ah Moondog, you're back - how timely. Now I can answer your question about what offended me in the "milk of human kindness" poster...

Well, TBH the offence arose from the fact that I inferred from the message given in the poster that any other form of milk bar breastmilk was in some way "unkind". Sure, I'll hold my hands up right now to the fact that it didn't actually SAY this but this was the message that I felt the poster intended to put across - that a mother actually does her baby a disservice by not breastfeeding it and that she should be aware of that. Some would argue that that's true and she does but as a point of principle I don't actually feel pro breastfeeding posters should be trying to put their point across by putting out mesages that pull on the heartstrings of women at what is a very emotionally vulnerable time in their lives.

I don't know much about advertising - perhaps there are those among us that do and may be able to enlighten us - but I feel that the style employed by this particular campaign was just a shock style tactic used to provoke thought by stirring up feelings. A perfectly valid form of advertising I admit for advertising a wide range of products but not one which is appropriate for use by those promoting breastfeeding in my opinion.

Remember, many women who bottlefeed have tried desparately to breastfeed and have been unable to for a number of reasons. Many women are truly devastated by this and don't need posters like this looming large every time they go to see the health visitor.

I'm all for breastfeeding and I'd be delighted to see enormous posters promoting breastfeeding pasted on to every billboard and double decker bus in the country but let them say breast is best and point out the top 5 or 10 health benefits of it or something along those lines. They should not use slogans which don't impart any facts whatsoever and are really designed purely to make women feel shamed by not doing it and to use guilt as a means to get more women breastfeeding. The "milk of human kindness" slogan was absurd in my view and I'd love to know the thinking behind it.

To be fair a poster to promote breastfeeding which simply says "the milk of human kindness" does not impart any facts about the benefits of breastfeeding does it?

Plain hard facts effectivey disseminated in a way that challenges and changes the way we think, maternal instinct and expert support in establishing breastfeeding in the crucial first few weeks of a baby's life should be all that is needed to ensure that breastfeeding is the feeding method of choice.

BTW I'm not suggesting that anyone else would feel the same as me if they saw that particular poster, or infer the same things from it as I did - but you did ask for my views...