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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

tiktok, bfing gurus, bfers, interested parties of all creed and colour... heyulp! bfing a preemie baby... top tips please

356 replies

Aitch · 12/09/2008 15:46

don't know where to start, really...

dd is two weeks old today (blimey) and put on her birthweight on wednesday so that's great. however of course she didn't start putting on weight until her formula top-ups, topping up with ebm didn't do the trick.

her weight gain today was only 30g (last few times has been double that or more) and i do put that down to the fact that i've been pumping more and therefore have been giving her more ebm top-ups than formula.

question is... what's the tipping point? she is gaining, i am producing more milk (not heaps, but volume-wise we are on target for the SCBU calculations). we were told to give dd 280mls per day in top-ups as well as bf, but with the formula it's been more like 350ml.

so do i accept the 'slow' weight gain and think of dd's longer-term benefits having protected my supply, or do i want her on formula but with more energy to feed, iyswim?

midwife has suggested one top-up of formula, and at the next topping-up with ebm, this seems like a reasonable compromise to me, but am i missing something.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 25/09/2008 14:31

Aitch wrt weighing, fuck the scales.
There are so many million different reasons that dd could seem not to have put the weight on.
Scales must be the same scales, and digital, weighing must be the same time, and situation, i.e after a feed or before a feed, after a wee/before a wee etc. 20g a day?! It's such a minute amount it would be almost impossible to measure accurately.

You say she seems healthy in every other way? Is she struggling with any feeds? With top-ups if baby is feeding well otherwise then it can be counter-productive because they will get used to the top-ups and lessen their breastmilk supply accordingly to fit the total amount of milk they want/need. If you're worried the best thing to do is to try and increase the breastfeeds so you know she is getting more and not the top-ups. Topping up should really be the final option.

Also, you said she poos a lot so you're not sure about the nappys? Put a small cotton wool ball on her urethra when you do her nappy. If it's wet it will show she has weed.

Lastly, the worry of a skinny little one is terrible, but they grow up just the same as others, I promise. I think there are pics of DD on my profile, both at birth (32+3wks) and now(aged 7.5). She's bigger than most of the kids in her class!

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 14:34

hah! have already toppd up. [devout coward]

she's deffo peeing, i realise, it's in her nappy but also when we change her 9 times out of ten she pisses all over us as well.

oh boo, though. i wish she'd proved them all wrong and gained loads.

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Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 14:34

oh, and they weren't the same scales but tbh it was pretty much the same time as she was weighed last week.

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TinkerBellesMum · 25/09/2008 14:37

What VS said!

She might not have proven them wrong, but she hasn't proven them right.

VictorianSqualor · 25/09/2008 14:41

If they weren't the same scales they could have been well out.

If you want to top-up, then do so. It's important you are feeling happy with things, it may be that it doesn't work out and that you don't end up BFing, it may be that it all starts to go swimmingly, but either way you've tried and are trying which is what is important.

I know how hard it can be resisting top-ups. With DS2 he lost over 15% of his birth weight and I was dreading the topping up talks, thankfully he was so big at birth they were a bit more lenient but I was so aware that I didn't want my little breastfeeding obsession to cause me to be a stuck in the mud and put DS2 at risk, so to have that fear and a prem baby I don't envy you one bit. (Well, the snuggly feeds with a newborn I do envy [broody])

Have you got a lactation specialist local to you?

TinkerBellesMum · 25/09/2008 14:45

But it probably wouldn't have been to her, was she exactly the same distance from her last/next feed/wee/pooh?

When a baby is being weighed once a month (or whatever) none of that matters but when it's weekly it makes a big difference. Different sets of scales will be slightly different, not enough to worry if you're not having weekly weigh-ins but weekly it makes a huge difference.

lizzytee · 25/09/2008 15:18

Aitch

By all means top-up if you want, you sound like a sensible person. My response was really provoked by the fact that HCPs (often rightly) emphasise weight gain as a sign that all is going well for a prem but IME fall down by
a) using the same weight gain norms and charts you would use for term babies
b) don't give any constructive advice
c) know naff all about bf and even less about where to refer you for support
leaving a parent (usually mum) who is permanently anxious about weight gain and feeding

You are doing a great job, please don't beat yourself up.

VS, no doubt your suggestion is well meant, but most lactation consultants/breastfeeding counsellors will hesitate to give extensive support to a mother of a low birthweight/prem baby who is still under the care of a paed - professional boundaries and all that.

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 15:23

it's a moot point anyway, lizzytee. have just called the ABM and their messaging system told me to call back later. then tried the NCT and their system told me to leave a message... then the voicemail was full so it told me to call back later.

this is EXACTLY what happened with dd1 btw. does anyone ever get through to these people?

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lizzytee · 25/09/2008 15:32

Do keep trying - sadly it's a reflection of the fact that until v recently there has been very little funding. Have you tried contacting your local NCT branch (eg the antenatal bookings sec) as they will have numbers for bfcs in your area.

fishie · 25/09/2008 15:43

oh aitch, the first time i rang the nct helpline i got someone in scotland. i am in london and needed a home visit so not ideal!

try the breastfeeding network 0870 9008787, aren't they scottish?

also not a good time of day for getting someone, they will be doing school run or at work. evenings is best, my bfc used to visit at 9pm after kids in bed etc.

agree entirely with vs re scales. but it sounds as though you need somebody trained to see you feeding and reassure you that the milk is going in.

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 15:47

milk is positively spilling into her mouth... when her stoopid little nose is clear enough to drink it.

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Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 15:50

lol, that number just cut itself off rather than put me through to someone. [cursed]

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VictorianSqualor · 25/09/2008 15:56

There are these peoplenear you any good?

lizzytee, I know, but what Aitch needs is someone who knows what they're talking about wrt bfing, nearby to put her at ease, and also to put straight some of the stuff she has been told, like the weight issue for example. I only came across this thread today and only skimmed it but am i right in thinking the only concern is the weight gain?

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 16:01

frustratingly, that linda woman is exactly who i want to speak to, she also hasn't phoned back. and cos dd is preemie i'm reluctant to go to an mrsa filled hospital for bfing support, i want someone to come here.

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Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 16:02

the only concern is the weight gain. and the cold.

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moondog · 25/09/2008 16:52

Aitch, please have more faith in yourself.
She is gaining,it is good.
The top up will only set you back further in the long term (how long had you gone without topping up btw before doing it now?)

Rather like me having a lot of wine. Feels great at the time but doesn't feel so great the next day.

I don't want to see you posting in a few months, toruring yourself.

Hoping Ole Young Tiktok will be along soon to provide you with some resolve.

TinkerBellesMum · 25/09/2008 17:14

Aitch have you tried here?

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 17:32

good news! my GP phoned to say that she's checked the preemie charts and the baby is following the 9th centile. (well, actually she'd probably been above it on teh formula but she was born on it and she's still on it.)

so i'm going to be a bit brave about the top-ups, but the cold is frustrating as she's not really getting much cos latching on is such a problem for her. poor wee thing. it's a bad cold. dd has it, natch.

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OhWellNeverMind · 25/09/2008 18:33

Aitch that is all that matters (I am the Idiot BTW ). She should, broadly speaking, follow one of the lines. Doesn't matter which one, just one of them. And also 1 blip is not important (unless it makes the chart look like a cliff face!)...it is the trend over at least 3 weighings which is important.

Yes they do like to see a gain of 20g per day, but as has been said the scales do have to be exactly the same scales, positioned in the same place (putting them on laminate will give a diff reading to putting them a a bouncy carpet) to get an accurate reading week to week. I did an experiment once. There are 2 sets of scales at our clinic and it is a self weigh facility. So I plonked DD3 on one set of scales, then plonked her straight on the other set (no wees, poos, feeds in between). There was 130g difference.

However, she is still tiny. She will be burning more proportionately calories than many full term babies would be to take a feed. She would also have been burning extra calories this week fighting the nasties giving her a cold. And she would have been burning more calories this week trying to co-ordinate suking and breathing. None of that is a probelm in the slightest. It is why she may not have gained as much as the HCPs would have wanted. It is not a problem. If you want to perservre you must persevre. A weight gain is a weight gain. She is still on the same centile line. You are doing GREAT

Habbibu · 25/09/2008 18:55

Yay! She's sticking to her line despite having had a cold - good for her and good for you. The cold will pass...

moondog · 25/09/2008 18:58

As The George put it so succinctly (when not tossing strange men off in public loos) You Gotta Have Faith

laundrylover · 25/09/2008 22:00

Aitch 2.5oz sounds like loads to me! I agree about the different scales throwing things out too - how nice of your GP to phone and reassure you eh?

Have you tried squirting bm up her nose yet? It really does work with my nephew...poor thing is so snuffly and then after a squirt he can feed much better.

I may as well send you the tiny baby stuff - email me your address. I think the friend who has it is bringing it to Tots group tomorrow so can post it asap. Please do pass on to anyone at all but DON'T send anythng back to me as I am NOT having anymore babies, big or teeny ever, ever again!!

Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 22:19

wi;; email you when get two hands, thanks!

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Original poster
Aitch · 25/09/2008 22:19

oh and yes to the squirting, again thanks

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MamaG · 25/09/2008 22:21

Aitch I've read the whole thred now

Bloody bloody well done on keeping going

LOL at moondog re George tossing off strange men